The first official full-length trailer for Robert Rodriguez’s Predators has hit the web (courtesy of IGN). The clip introduces the cast and shows some quick shots of the Predators and their wolf-like pets.

Take a look:

Predators is directed by Nimrod Antal and stars Adrien Brody, Laurence Fishburne, Walton Goggins, Topher Grace, Alice Braga, and everyone’s favorite Mexi-can Danny Trejo. To see a BTS clip with producer Robert Rodriguez, go here.

Former porn chick Satine Phoenix (pictured above) and her sex worker friends can be seen playing a dumb-downed version of Dungeons & Dragons on their new web-based reality show “I Hit It with My Axe,” hosted by website The Escapist.

While the idea of watching girls with DD’s playing D&D is geek-genius, the sad reality is these chicks are of the Janeane Garofalo-meets-your-sister’s-tattooed-dyke-cellmate variety. Personally, I’m gonna hold out for a Candyland show featuring the Digital Playground babes.

If funding can be found, indie-director Gorman Bechard’s One Night Stand could join John Wildman’s Stripped and Anchor Bay’s I Spit On Your Grave remake as upcoming girl-on-guy revenge-thrillers guaranteed to make a man’s balls retract in horror.

Peep the trailer:

The film’s synopsis reads:

ONE NIGHT STAND tells the story of Ophelia, a young woman seemingly using sex with strangers to ease the loneliness in her life. But after going home with Jake she finds herself at the wrong end of a one night stand. Discovering that she has been secretly videotaped for a popular voyeuristic porn site, she turns the tables on her pickup, holding him captive in his own bedroom, making him live through the same indignities he’s inflicted on his video subjects, brutalizing him and his friends, as she ultimately decides if he should live or die. And he ultimately discovers he’s brought home the wrong girl.

One Night Stand stars Lynn Mancinelli and Alex Brown. The film is set to begin shooting in the summer. To see the uncensored T&A heavy trailer, visit the film’s website.

If you’d like a chance to trick people into bed by telling them you’re a producer, you can contribute to project’s funding here.

Hollywood’s hardest working Mexi-can Danny Trejo (Predators, From Dusk Till Dawn) plays a double-crossed assassin out to kill the honkies that set him up and left him for dead in Robert Rodriguez’s upcoming grindhouse-actioner Machete.

The 65-year-old actor tells IGN:

It is going to be awesome. We duplicate scenes from the trailer in the movie. What that movie has is the three B’s, what I like to call the three B’s. And what that is is babes, bullets and blood.

And then it’s got machetes, too. The film takes off from the trailer and then it just gets so over the top. I dive out of a window on a guy’s guts. It’s really just unbelievable.

I think the movie really lives up to the trailer. I’m really, really proud of it.

The star-studded film’s cast includes Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba (playing masturbating identical twins), Michelle Rodriguez, Rose McGowen, Cheech Marin, Steven Seagal, Don Johnson, and a topless Lindsay Lohan.

Machete is based on the faux-trailer featured in the 2007 Rodriguez/Quentin Tarantino collaboration Grindhouse.

Filmmaker Richard O’Sullivan will most likely never have a career like Oscar-winner Steven Soderbergh, but that doesn’t mean he can’t afford to pay for a girlfriend experience of his own. The indie writer/director has hired porn star Sasha Grey to blow him for six weeks star as a bible-thumping virgin in his upcoming straight-to-DVD survival-slasher Hallows.

Sullivan gushes to Horror Squad:

Hallows basically takes the standard kids-in-the-woods-running-from-a-killer genre and flips it on its ear. I’m less interested in gore-for-the-sake-of-gore than the psychology behind the characters and how they react to what happens.

That’s why we’re happy to be working with Sasha. She’s more interested in the psychology behind the action than just the action itself. That’s what she conveys in her work in the adult genre and that’s what we’re going for in this film.

I’m not one to lick the stripes off another person’s candy cane, but sometimes sucking Negro balls on video for money is just a way to pay the rent while avoiding real work and responsibility. Just ask your moms if you don’t believe me.

Grey’s esteemed creds include Soderbergh’s The Girlfriend Experience, Cum Fart Cocktails 5, Craven Moorehead’s White Chicks Gettin’ Black Balled, Cum Buckets 8, Face Invaders 4, and the Alice in Wonderland parody Malice in Lalaland.