Upstart studio FilmDistrict has released the first full-length trailer for the world’s most boring shark attack movie Soul Surfer, the story of 13-year-old surfer Bethany Hamilton, who lost an arm at the jaws of a 14-foot tiger shark in Hawaii.

Despite the loss of her arm, Hamilton return to surfing a month after the attack. While I had hoped that Soul Surfer would take on a Jaws 4 “This time it’s personal” approach to Hamilton’s ordeal, it appears producers have gone with a more “90210″-very-special-episode angle instead.

Still, I feel the trailer has a place on this site because it depicts the truly horrific dialogue found in these type of overwrought inspirational tales. However, I am not completely heartless and was, indeed, moved to tears at the sight of Hamilton (AnnaSophia Robb)  finding the courage to once again attempt to tie on a skimpy bikini top over her young supple breasts.

Peep it:

“Tudors” star Henry Cavill is set to star as the man-of-steel in director Zach Snyder’s Superman reboot for Warner Bros. and Legendary Pictures.

Said Snyder (via press release):

In the pantheon of superheroes, Superman is the most recognized and revered character of all time, and I am honored to be a part of his return to the big screen.

I also join Warner Bros., Legendary and the producers in saying how excited we are about the casting of Henry. He is the perfect choice to don the cape and S shield.

Cavill, best known for his role of Charles Brandon on Showtime’s “The Tudors,” does hold some genre creds under his belt, namely Joel Schmacher’s survival-frightener Blood Creek and Dimension Films’ Hellraiser: Hellworld. The 27-year-old Brit also headlines director Tarsem Singh’s Clash of the Titans inspired fantasy-adventure Immortals.

Superman is slated for release on Dec. 2012.