It’s that time of year when horror sites like to put together their list of Christmas themed frighteners. Unfortunately, once you’ve seen one site’s list, you’ve seen them all. That’s why at Clatto we like to approach things differently—usually from behind with a little chloroform.
What follows is our list of the 12 hottest babes found in Christmas themed horror films. Some of the actresses picked perform nude in their films; some don’t. The only criteria that matters is that they put a little jingle in your bells.
Merry Christmas, you heathens!
12. LINNEA QUIGLEY (SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT)
Scream queen icon Linnea Quigley was in her mid-twenties when she played naughty girl Denise in the beloved 1984 holiday classic Silent Night, Deadly Night. The movie, which follows a murderous Santa out to slaughter all who have been bad, but in particular nude young women and the men who screw them, finds Quigley dying one of horror’s most memorable deaths.
Quigley, wearing nothing but a pair of skintight LEE jean cut-offs, is in the throes of passion with her boyfriend when Billy, the aforementioned serial-killing ST. Nick, spies them and decides punishment is needed. He impales her topless body on the antlers of a mounted deer head. It’s a brutally violent death, but one made easier to take thanks to Quigley’s spectacular breasts.
11. SALLI ELISE RICHARDSON-WHITFIELD (I Am Legend)
Salli Elise Richardson-Whitfield, best known for her role as DoD agent Allison Blake on Syfy’s “Eureka” series, plays Will Smith’s ill-fated wife Zoe in Warner Bros. 2007 film adaptation of author Richard Matheson’s zombie-apocalypse novel “I Am Legend.”
Set in Manhattan on Christmas Eve during a deadly viral outbreak, the Francis Lawrence-directed film sees Richardson-Whitfield’s character perish in a tragic helicopter extraction accident. Alice Braga steps in as Smith’s love interest, but—like the movie itself—fails to hold one’s interest.
Richardson-Whitfield’s role is small and nudity-free, but the milfy stunner is just too hot to not make this list.
10. KIM BASINGER (WHILE SHE WAS OUT)
Speaking of milfs … While She Was Out stars a 55-year-old Kim Basinger as an abused housewife whose trip to purchase wrapping paper on Christmas Eve leads to her witnessing a parking lot murder. On the run from the four young hooligans responsible, she ventures off into the woods where she discovers that her vagina and a roadside flare can be useful survival tools.
Basinger looks fantastic and her acting chops make the 2008 direct-to-video revenge-thriller all the more intense, especially during a cat-and-mouse with bad boy Lukas Haas, who thinks he’s going to score himself some cougar cooch, but ends up with face-full of flare (if we only had a quarter for every time that happens … right, fellas?).
9. EMILE DE RAVIN (SANTA’S SLAY)
Santa’s Slay re-imagines the jolly fat one as a demon spawn who massacred people on Christmas day up until 1005 A.D., when he lost a bet to an archangel and was forced to give gifts to those on earth for a 1000 years.
Set in the year 2005, the Brett Ratner-produced film follows Claus as he once again spreads some “Yuletide fear.”
Emilie De Ravin, best known for her role as Claire Littleton on ABC’s “LOST,” stars in the comedy-slasher as Mary Mackenzie, a small town girl who teams up with her 16-year-old coworker and his grandfather to fight the killer Claus.
The sexy 29-year-old Aussie sadly keeps her figure under wraps, but first-time director David Steiman makes up for it by including nude stripper boobs and hmm-worthy Fran Drescher cleavage shots in the flick.
8. EMILY BLUNT (WIND CHILL)
Wind Chill stars British stunner Emily Blunt as a northeastern college coed catching a ride home for Christmas with a creepy schoolmate—played by “Revenge” star Ashton Holmes—who, unbeknownst to her, has had his eye on her all semester.
After a shortcut through the woods leads to an auto accident, the duo end up stranded in 30-below weather. To make matters worse, they appear to be surrounded by spirits that died in the area during a tragic event in the ’50s.
Being that this story takes place in freezing weather, don’t expect to see Blunt in a two-piece. The pretty brunette is bundled up tight the entire movie.
7. AMBER SMITH (DEAD END)
Amber Smith is a former Sports Illustrated and Playboy model who has no qualms about going nude for a role. In the 2003 ghost thriller Dead End, she plays a shapely specter in a white dress who haunts the Harrington family as they drive through the woods on their way to a Christmas dinner.
When she appears to son Richard Harrington, a junkie and chronic masturbator, during a road stop, she drops her dress to reveal what would be a heavenly nude body if she weren’t so damn evil. She kisses Richard softly before biting his lower lip off (good thing he hadn’t ask for a blow job).
6. LACEY CHABERT (BLACK CHRISTMAS)
“Party of Five” starlet Lacey Chabert (she was Claudia, the youngest of the Salinger clan) made her horror film debut in Dimension Films’ 2006 remake of the 1974 Canadian slasher Black Christmas.
The now 29-year-old brunette plays Dana, a bitchy sorority girl who meets her brutal end at the hands of an escaped mental patient named Billy Edward Lenz. It’s a small part, but it’s cool to see how much Chabert has grown (::cough::big boobs:::).
5. ADRIANNE PALICKI (LEGION)
The 2010 Scott Stewart-directed end-of-days thriller Legion finds “Friday Night Lights” star Adrianne Palicki playing a pregnant, small town waitress who discovers that her unborn child is the messiah that will save mankind from armageddon on Christmas Eve.
Palicki gained weight for the role and it shows on her cheeks, which look adorably pinch-able. She was also strapped with an 8-lb. belly to give the illusion that she was ready to drop, which she does on Christmas Day during a gas station battle with supernaturally possessed peeps.
Despite the baby bump and chipmunk cheeks, Palicki looks radiant and almost makes the risk of raising some entitled slacker for 18-years worth taking. Almost.
4. PHOEBE CATES (GREMLINS)
Phoebe Cates followed nude turns in raunchy sex comedies Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Private School with the more wholesome role of Kate Beringer in the darkly funny 1984 Joe Dante-directed blockbuster Gremlins.
Though Gremlins marked the beginning of less naked roles for Cates, it’s hard not to picture the former model in her red Fast Times bikini … even during her now infamous “another reason to hate Christmas” story:
3. KATIE CASSIDY (BLACK CHRISTMAS)
Katie Cassidy, daughter to ’70s teen idol David Cassidy, scored her first lead role in Dimension Films much maligned 2006 Black Christmas remake. The Cali-born looker plays Kelli Presley, Delta Alpha Kappa’s newest pledge and the only hottie with the wits to take on the escaped lunatic murdering her sorority sisters.
Critics and remake haters alike took a massive shit on this redo when it was first released, citing stale dialogue and lack of creativity as its primary offenses. But, with a cast that includes Cassidy and a bevy of gorgeous babes, it’s apparent those people are fags.
2. SHANON ELIZABETH (JACK FROST)
Before revealing her natural talents to mainstream movie audiences in the runaway hit comedy American Pie, Shannon Elizabeth courted horny horror fans with an outrageous nude shower scene in 1997’s cult-fav Jack Frost, her feature film debut.
The Texas-born stunner plays Jill Metzner, an unfortunate victim of serial killing snowman Jack Frost. Frost murders Jill in the shower, but not before raping her with the carrot he uses for a nose.
1. RACHEL NICHOLS (P2)
P2 stars Rachel Nichols as Angela Bridges, an attractive businesswoman held captive in the underground parking structure of her Manhattan office by the building’s creepy security guard. Armed with just a fire axe and a clingy, wet dress, Nichols embarks on a dangerous game of cat-and-mouse with the homicidal stalker.
Written and produced by Alexandre Aja, the Summit Entertainment release is a taut Christmas Eve thriller that features an emotionally intense performance from Nichols and plenty of eye-popping stunts from her large, magnificent breasts (i.e. jumping, running, bouncing).