OK, it’s Valentine’s Day and you forgot to make reservations at one of those nice restaurants where the waitresses are dressed like Medieval wenches. You also forgot to buy candy and flowers. Whatcha gonna do now?

Don’t sweat it. Our friends over at Animals Hate Us stumbled upon a rather unique Valentine’s Day gift idea that just might get you by. For $10, you can have the Bronx Zoo name a Madagascar hissing cockroach after your sweetheart. Check it out here.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

If you’re reading Clatto on Christmas Day, there’s a good chance you weren’t invited to join in on any Baby Jesus games. Well, don’t sweat it. Being loved will only get in the way of your serial killing dreams and degenerate lifestyle.

So, go on and get yourself a bottle of Belvedere, strip down to your underwear, and jingle your bell all the way while surfing the site.

Merry X-mas!

OK, so it’s April Fool’s Day. If you’ve been surfing the web, you’ve probably been mislead and pranked while searching out juicy Hollywood gossip and interracial gang-bang scenes. But, relax, you’re at Clatto now. Here, we laugh at other people’s misfortunes.

It is in that spirit that I am posting the following two videos. You may have seen them before, but they are classic examples of fucked up pranks.

The first made its way around the net back around Christmas time and shows you why so many black people grow up to be so damn angry.

Check it out:

This next vid is especially brutal because we all know how bad it sucks to be poor (see clip above lol). Take a look at some asshats as they trick their buddy into thinking he won the lottery:

Happy April Fool’s. don’t get punked.

So, it’s New Year’s Eve and you guys are about to start drinking and having unprotected anal sex with anyone in a pointy party hat. I’d just like to remind you to please practice safe sodomy and stay the fuck out of my lane on the freeways tonight. Remember … bad things happen when you’re having fun.

Of course, killing your own blood or wiping out a family of five on the highway is cake when compared to catching crotch-rot from some floozy and/or man-whore. Keep the following PSA in mind when gang-banging with strangers this evening:

Happy New Year!

Hello Blogsuckers,

Welcome to Clatto Verata, your last resort for all things horror, sci-fi and fantasy (kudos on finding us!).  I’m Eddie Muertos and it’s my belief that your misguided devotion and my fear of hard labor will eventually turn Clatto into a formidable force in the horror blogosphere … or at least score me enough ads to keep my Netflix subscription! However, Clatto’s primary goal is to discuss horror, fantasy, and all that’s twisted. Unlike your loved ones, we won’t judge you nor call the cops.

So, thanks for dropping by! Now, sign up and share your evil thoughts!