Playing House with Mayra Leal is a lot of fun, especially if you grew up watching flicks like Body Chemistry and Scorned on Cinemax when the folks were away. Directed by newcomer Tom Vaughan, the film centers on a young married couple whose relationship is suddenly threatened by a homicidal seductress hellbent on living the American dream.

Mitch and Jen McKenzie (Craig Welzbacher, Sarah Prikryl) have just moved into their dream house. He’s a doctor looking to make partner at the private practice where he works. She’s a professional chef about to land her own kitchen at an upscale restaurant. Despite their promising careers, the duo find themselves in a financial pinch and so decide to rent out a room to Mitch’s friend Danny (Matt Lusk).

Danny is a good-natured slob who likes to spend his time playing PS3 with Mitch because it helps to keep his mind off Debbie, the cute girl who dumped him after a three year romance. Jen, figuring she’ll do everyone a favor, tells Danny that he should try online dating. Enter Blair (Mayra Leal), a beautiful dark-haired girl with a mysterious past and an aversion to clothes.

Blair, infatuated with Mitch and his big house, sets out to seduce him. It’s not hard to do. She’s beautiful and he’s sexually frustrated due to his and Jen’s work schedules. Jen’s lack of sexual spontaneity since Danny’s arrival isn’t helping matters much either. Against his better judgement, Mitch goes from peeping a nude Blair in the pool to pawing her in the shower.

To say anything more would be to take away from the fun of watching Vaughan’s ode to old-school erotic thrillers. Just know that Mayra Leal does get naked (and it is wonderful), a cute pet is brutally murdered, and there are two awesome scenes of girl-on-girl violence.

Leal, best known for her memorable—and very naked—turn as a deadly, double-crossing chica in Robert Rodriguez’s Machete, plays the femme fatal role with gusto, but still manages to keep her performance grounded despite the outrageous goings-on in the story. Sarah Prikryl as Jen is sympathetic and Craig Welzbacher infuriates as clueless husband Mitch—a credit to both actors’ skills.

Playing House is a guilty pleasure that—thanks to Leal and a solid script from Vaughan and Kristy Dobkin—is surprisingly better than many of the ’90s erotic thrillers it pays homage to. The film is now available on DVD and can be purchased at Amazon.

For more info, visit the Playing House website.

If you think Platinum Dunes new Nightmare on Elm Street remake is simply a trip down memory lane, you’re in for a rude awakening. Director Samuel Bayer has turned Wes Craven’s classic 1984 slasher into a stylish frightener that turns up the creep factor behind child molester/killer Freddy Krueger.

The premise remains true to the original: A group of kids discover they are being stalked in their dreams by the pedophile their parents burned alive in an act of street justice. If he kills them in their sleep, they die in real life.

Many of the original’s most memorable scares (i.e. Krueger reaching out from the wall behind Nancy’s bed, the bladed glove between her legs in the tub) are impressively updated during the first half of the movie.

Especially fun is Katie Cassidy’s bedroom death sequence in which the 23-year-old stunner is bounced off the walls before being ripped to shreds in front of her boyfriend (Thomas Dekker). The scene, which originally starred Amanda Wyss (The Graves), remains one of Freddy’s most brutal kills.

Soon after Cassidy’s character dies, Bayer’s remake settles into its own groove and proceeds to effectively build sphincter-pinching tension as Krueger sets his sight on Nancy (Rooney Mara), his one-time favorite child victim.

The cat-and-mouse games that follow are intense and culminate with Nancy, suddenly strapped to a bed in the little girl dress (oh, yeah) and Mary Jane shoes she wore as a child, attempting to break the crippling memories of her molestation long enough to get free from Krueger’s mental hold and razor claw.

Unlike Robert Englund’s beloved portrayal of the Krueger character, which grew more goofy with each sequel, Jackie Earle Haley’s (Watchmen, Shutter Island) take on the child predator is rooted in pure malice. You never forget for a moment that Krueger enjoyed diddling little children and that he takes perverse pleasure in making them suffer as teens before butchering them.

It’s clear that Bayer and Haley—and writers Wesley Strick and Eric Heisserer—are committed to keeping Krueger a creepy and menacing monster. If these were Bond films, I’d say Englund is now the Roger Moore of Elm Street.

Of course, mainstream critics will shit over Bayer’s film, waxing nostalgic on the original (which was also poorly reviewed during its theatrical release) and asking why a remake was necessary. Trust me. The original—like your mama’s face—needed the make-over.

And, if you’re part of the targeted demographic (kids that weren’t alive during the ’80s), this new Nightmare will knock you out. In fact, that’s my only regret. I wish I could have seen this with new eyes.

A Nightmare on Elm Street is playing now.

The premise behind director Tom Six’s mad-scientist thriller The Human Centipede (First Sequence) is sure to make most people’s skin crawl. But, if you’re not like most people and have grown elephant balls watching films that depict torture and eye-socket rape, the idea of a surgeon sewing people together mouth-to-anus to form a human centipede may seem too outrageous to be frightening.

Relax. You’re in good hands.

Six does an impressive job of avoiding cheap torture-porn thrills and direct-to-DVD cheese. Once past the film’s sensational hook, the horror of being abducted—for whatever reasons—begins to set in. Humor is peppered throughout the story, but it is dark and organic, birthed from the insanity of the ordeal at hand. Before you know it, you too are being held captive for 90 minutes of white-knuckle anguish.

Lindsay and Jenny, played by Ashley C. Williams (a true find) and Ashlynn Yennie respectively, are American tourists in Germany. On their way to a party, their car gets a flat and strands them on a desolate backwoods road. Neither of the girls knows how to change a tire so they decide to walk through the woods in search of help.

While some may roll their eyes at the set-up, I think it’s effective in establishing the characters’ lack of resourcefulness—something that will cost them dearly when faced with a life-or-death situation. Besides, not everyone knows how to change a tire (don’t judge me).

The girls eventually stumble upon a secluded villa owned by Dr. Heiter, a retired surgeon specializing in the separation of conjoined twins. Dr. Heiter is played by German actor Dieter Laser (think Christopher Walken meets Anthony Perkins), who turns in what is sure to be one of horror’s most memorable villains.

The good doc looks the ladies over and invites them in, but only after making sure they’re alone. He offers them a roofie-laced beverage and can barely contain his eagerness to harm while attempting small talk.

When the girls awake, Dr. Heiter reveals his plan to join them, and a Japanese abductee named Katsuro, ass-to-mouth to form a human centipede. The doctor explains that this will only be possible through a surgical procedure that will fuse their gastric systems.

Once stripped and sewn together (boy-girl-girl), it’s only a matter of time before Katsuro has to take a shit … into Lindsay’s mouth. It’s the moment Dr. Heiter (and—just admit it—you) has been waiting for.  “Feed her! Feed her,” he commands, pleased and titillated.

Lindsay, however, refuses to eat shit and die. Though stuck in the middle of Dr. Heiter’s human centipede, she orchestrates her final daring escape.

The Human Centipede took Best Picture honors at the 2009 Scream Fest LA Film Festival. The film also won awards for Best Horror Film and Best Horror Actor (Laser) at the 2009 Fantastic Fest.

The Human Centipede is available today on VOD (check your cable listings) and expands nationally for limited theatrical midnight showings on May 7.

BUY: JENNIFER’S BODY

Jennifer’s Body collapsed at the box office this fall, earning only $16 million and a slew of bad reviews for its star Megan Fox and Oscar-winning writer Diablo Cody (Juno). Fox Home Entertainment has just released an unrated version of the teen horror-comedy on DVD and Blu-ray disc.

Jennifer’s Body stars Megan Fox as a high school heartbreaker turned man-eater after a fateful encounter with a band of satanists. Amanda Seyfried plays her best friend and foil.

Audio commentary from Cody and director Karyn Kusama (Aeon Flux) is featured on both DVD and Blu-ray editions. However, as is the trend now, the BD is loaded with bonus material, including cast video diaries, gag reels, deleted scenes, featurettes, and the wickedly funny Megan Fox “Peer Pressure” PSA.

I still don’t understand why you guys didn’t catch Jennifer’s Body at the theater and I’m baffled by the backlash that has befallen Fox and Cody since the film’s release.

While Fox has yet to prove her dramatic chops, she has time and again displayed an uncanny knack for humor in comedies such as Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen and How to Lose Friends & Alienate People and the ABC sitcom “Hope & Faith.”

Her funniest bits, however, seem to always play out in the press. And, maybe, that’s the problem. People think she’s weird and bitchy. Of course, those people tend to have vaginas and harbor an unnatural hatred towards prettier girls with magically warm and inviting vaginas that cradle both the soul and penis in a nurturing embrace not felt since our exodus from the womb.

But, what in the world could have kept men away from Jennifer’s Body? Maybe they just wanted to see Fox naked or jumping around with a minimal amount of dialogue. Well, amigos, Cody doesn’t work that way. Jennifer’s script is chockful of pop references, quotable quips, and salty situations. The former stripper-turned-Hollywood-screenwriter is a formidable talent on par with Quentin Tarrantino and ironic-teen wordsmith Kevin Williamson (Scream, “The Vampire Dairies”). Believe it or not, this is a good thing.

I too crossed my arms and raised an eyebrow when the film was released in theaters with a PG-13 rating. But, to my surprise, Jennifer’s Body presented plenty of quality kills, fucked-up laughs, and stupidly-hot Fox action (including a stroke-worthy kiss between Fox and Seyfried).

The Unrated version, sadly, remains free of Fox nudity. But, seriously, guys … a panty-clad Fox still trumps all the naked chicks in Sorority Row.

BUY: 9

Critics may have preferred the goth-chick-flick Coraline, but director Shane Acker’s post-apocalyptic animated-actioner 9 is cinematic cocaine for the eyes. Every frame pops with color and detailed ambiance. The characters are rich with quirk and soul. The mechanical abominations that threaten their lives are fiercely frightening and visually unsettling (in a very cool way).

The plot is straight out of Terminator: humanity has been destroyed by technology. A man of science and faith, however, manages to create and animate 9 dolls with a mysterious talisman to carry on in a future where humans are extinct. Voices are provided by Elijah Wood, Jennifer Connelly, Martin Landau, Christopher Plummer, Crispen Glover, and John C. Reilly.

DVD/Blu-ray extras include the original short the film was based on, audio commentary with Acker and animation director Joe Kasander, and making-of featurettes.

RENT: PARANORMAL ACTIVITY

Unless you’re one of the folks who registered to have their name included on the Paranormal Activity DVD, there is no reason to ever see this movie more than once. The sleeper hit of the year was produced for a reported $15,000 and went on to earn over a $100 million at the box office thanks to an ingenious online promotional campaign that suckered mainstream audiences into believing that the Paramount Pictures’ release was the most frightening movie ever lensed. It’s not.

The film’s docu-styled presentation is a neat hook reminiscent of The Blair Witch Project and its cast, namely newcomers Micah Sloat and Katie Featherston, are completely believable and charming in their roles, but the film adds up to an hour of relentless jaw-jabbering and shaky cam action. The spooky stuff is about 20 minutes worth of footage spread out during the film’s 86 minute run.

Both DVD and Blu-ray disc include the film’s original ending. A digital copy comes along with the BD.

RENT: PERFECT GETAWAY

Been here, done that. There isn’t much new ground covered in writer/director David Twohy’s (The Arrival) survival-thriller A Perfect Getaway. Horror enthusiasts will see the twist coming long before the characters do. That said, Getaway is pure fun, thanks in part to its stellar cast and exotic local.

The story is set in Hawaii and revolves around three vacationing couples caught up in a murder spree. Super sexy Milla Jovovich is at her ass-kicking best and Timothy Olyphant pulls out the stops as a menacing, but charming, outdoors man. “Lost” fans will recognize Kiele Sanchez  as Olyphant’s rough-and-tumble wife. But, its Steve Zahn who steals the show as Jovovich’s on-edge husband.

Extras are slim on both DVD and BD. Both home editions include trailers and an Unrated Director’s Cut which doesn’t add up to any extra Jovovich or Sanchez nudity—just a minute of extra filler.

BUY: DISTRICT 9

Aliens come down to earth and get treated like black people in director Neill Blomkamp’s sci-fi-actioner District 9. Produced by Peter Jackson (Lord of the Rings, King Kong), the film is set in Johannesburg, South Africa and follows the transfer of alien inhabitants from the government established refugee camp known as District 9 to the much larger District 10.

Wikus van de Merwe is the government official assigned to help a privately funded military group relocate the aliens (dismissively referred to as “prawns” by humans). Things get complicated, however, when Merwe is exposed to alien matter that corrupts his own genetic makeup.

Inspired by events that took place during the apartheid era in South Africa, District 9 spins a smart and engaging story without sacrificing the action and suspense sci-fi fans love. The effects are convincing and, along with the film’s docu-drama angle, make the film feel and look believable (Warning: if you’re like me, you may want to have a puke bucket next to your La-Z-Boy. The shaky-cam can be pretty brutal at times).

The 2-disc edition includes director commentary, deleted scenes, and the following featurettes: “The Alien Agenda: Filmmaker’s Log, a Three-Part Documentary,” “Metamorphosis: the Transformation of Wikus,” “Innovation: Acting and Improvisation,” “Conception and Design: Creating the World of District 9,” and “Alien Generation: Visual Effects.”

The Blu-ray disc edition includes the same bonus material plus “Joburg From Above: Satellite and Schematics of the World of District 9 – Interactive Map.”

RENT: PARANORMAL ENTITY

Erin Marie Hogan

Paranormal Entity tells the story of a man who is sentence to prison for the murder of his sister. The man’s family, however, knows that something paranormal is to blame for the tragedy … and they’ve found footage to prove it. Yes, the movie is a knockoff of Paramount Pictures’ blockbuster hit Paranormal Activity, but could it be much worse? Probably. I haven’t yet seen the flick. But, I will rent it based on the comments posted by Dustin Demoss on Amazon.com.

Demoss writes:

The story/style is nearly identitical to that of Activity, however, I did find the story to be slightly more interesting…with the inclusion of why an entity exists…and at least they try to go to a motel. I didn’t find the acting to be as “real” as Activity, but the dialogue was much less annoying…continual arguing in Activity was pretty grueling. And as an added bonus you’re not stuck looking at an ugly chick.

Paranormal Entity is produced and distributed by The Asylum Home Entertainment and stars the very attractive Erin Marie Hogan.

BURY: CAPTIVE

Captive stars former Playboy model and Baywatch star Erika Eleniak as a woman who goes ape-shit after her husband is murdered. Placed in a loony bin, she must battle the advances of perverted orderlies and yada, yada, yada. This flick was produced in 1998 and, boy, does it suck donkey dicks.

Captive is dated, beyond cheesy, and completely devoid of Eleniak nudity. If you’re an Eleniak fan, watch Under Siege, Chasers or just dust the dried up cum balls away from your old Playboys instead. If you’re a fan of women in mental wards, grab yourself a copy of Clint Eastwood’s The Changeling.

Warner Bros. held a test screening on Tuesday for director Chris Peckover’s sure to be controversial thriller Undocumented. I was fortunate enough to be in attendance and, while I can’t discuss the film at length (it’s still a work-in-progress), I will say this: Peckover is one sick bastard … and that’s good news for horror fans.

OK … I’ll say a little more.

Undocumented follows a group of young filmmakers, led by producer Liz (Alona Tal) and director Travis (Scott Mechlowicz), as they document the hardships faced by Mexican immigrants living illegally in the United States. Fueled by ambition and fist-pumping ideals, they collect hard luck stories from poor, undocumented workers and set out to expose their abusive American employers. Things go terribly wrong, however, when they decide to travel into Mexico to film a group of immigrants as they cross the border into New Mexico with the help of a “coyote.”

(Update: To see photos from the movie, click here)

Ambushed by a group of vigilante “patriots,” the filmmakers are taken hostage and then forced to document the torture and murder of the captured immigrants. The patriots are as zealous as they are cruel and have a very specific purpose in mind for the footage being shot.

The torture scenes, though not overly graphic, are intense and emotionally jarring. Unlike the Saw films—where it’s fun to watch Jigsaw’s victims get maimed and slaughtered in creative ways—Undocumented is one of those rare horror flicks that makes you care about the characters, which in turn makes their torment almost unbearable (yea, I said almost).

The actors, lead and supporting, really drive the drama home. Yancey Arias turns in an especially devastating performance as Alberto, a goofy and well-intentioned husband/father trying to keep his family safe.

Undocumented also benefits from a taut script written by Peckover and Joe Peterson. The dialogue is so good in this movie—not in a Tarantino showoff-y kind of way, but in a very authentic manner. From the patriots’ hate speak to the tension-filled exchanges between Travis and Liz (they share a romantic past) to the playful ribbing between camera man (Greg Serano) and boom guy (Kevin Weisman)—every conversation and reaction is believable and engaging. And, the humor is especially wicked and sometimes highly inappropriate (did I just laugh at a condom joke during a vicious torture bit? WTF is wrong with me?).

A couple of additional notes:

Despite its docu-drama angle, the film never lingers too long during its shaky-cam and infrared moments, making the technique all the more effective (yea, I’m looking at you Oren Peli).

And, finally, I regret to inform you all that Alona Tal (”Supernatural”) does not appear nude in the film.

BUY: LOST (SEASON 5)

If you watched it when it aired, you know that season 5  is an emotionally draining, mind fucking nail-biter. The Oceanic 6—minus Aaron, plus airline pilot Frank Lapidus and Svengali-like master-manipulator Benjamin Linus—return to the island. John Locke returns from the grave (or does he?). And, Daniel Faraday returns with a plan to blow shit up.

Elsewhere, Sawyer and Juliette fall in love while becoming an integral part of the Dharma Initiative. Sayid attempts to alter both history and Ben’s fate with one bullet. Jacob is revealed. And … well, can’t really say much more without spoiling it for those who haven’t seen it.

Both the DVD and Blu-ray disc include audio commentaries, deleted scenes, blooper reel, and the featurettes: “LOST on Location,” “Building 23 and Beyond,” “An Epic Day with Richard Alpert,” “Making Up for LOST Time,” and “Mysteries of the Universe: The Dharma Initiative.”

The Blu-ray edition also features “LOST University,” an interactive college-like course on the show powered by BD-Live, and “LOST 100,” which features cast and crew reflecting on the series’ first 100 episodes.

Check out the blooper reel:

I purchased the Blu-ray edition (it’s really the only way to go with “Lost”) for about $50 at Best Buy and was pleased to find a 20-minute Bonus DVD that included additional deleted scenes, BTS material for the episodes “This Place is Death” and “316,” and the featurettes “Ben vs. Desmond,” “Locke’s Leg,” and “Rose and Bernard Retirement.”  The package also included a Dharma Initiative luggage tag (for us geeks on-the-go)!

RENT: RUN! BITCH RUN!

Full disclosure: I have not seen this movie. But, dammit, I want to!

The synopsis reads:

RUN! BITCH RUN! tells the story of Catherine and Rebecca, two Catholic School girls going door-to-door selling Religious paraphernalia in order to pay for their education. Things go horribly wrong when they knock on the wrong door in the wrong neighborhood. After she is brutally raped and left for dead Catherine awakes with one thing on her mind, REVENGE.

Run! Bitch Run! is a throw back to the classic 1970’s Rape and Revenge films like ‘Last House On the Left’ and ‘Ms. 45.  The film takes place in the late 1970’s where the lack of modern technology made the world a more vulnerable place. This is an original story that has not been explored in recent films.  Its uniqueness and chilling subject matter lends itself to horror/thriller audiences looking for something new.

Now, check out the trailer:

Yes, it looks cheap and awful. And, yes, it’s sad for the producers to have the creepy kid from Rob Zombie’s Halloween as their only recognizable “star.” But, come on. It’s got white bitches and black bitches and holy bitches! I’m gonna do my best to find it for rent. It can’t be worse than …

BURY: HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE

The sixth installment in the Harry Potter saga pretty much picks up where The Order of the Phoenix concluded, giving us an exciting 20 minutes of action and wonder. Once the fairy dust settles, however, the film just never takes off again. There are no big battles to be had between the Hogwarts and Death Eaters. Instead we get excruciatingly dull subplots and romantic play that was neither endearing nor organic. The flick is a total yawn-fest. Of course, I know many of you are too invested in the series to pull out now so—if you will not heed my advice—I recommend you at least do mountains of coke before viewing.

Both the 2-disc DVD edition and Blu-ray disc include additional scenes, Q&A sessions with the cast, promo for Universal Orlando’s upcoming Potter-based theme park attraction, a sneak peek at Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, and featurettes showcasing the Potter cast and creator J.K. Rowling.

Exclusive Blu-ray bonus material feature BD-Live community and Maximum Movie Mode, an interactive movie-watching experience hosted by director David Yates, producers David Heyman and David Barron, and stars Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson and Tom Felton.

BUY: TERMINATOR: SALVATION

Director MCG’s surprisingly dark take on the Terminator mythology met with great resistance from the press. Critics called the flick soulless (Uh, it’s post-apocalyptic, people) and chose to focus their reviews on Christian Bale’s infamous obscenity-laced, on-set rant against a careless crew member. Even James Cameron, director of Terminator 1 & 2, reportedly had lukewarm feelings towards the fourth chapter in the John Conner saga.

Well, fuck James Cameron in the neck. Terminator: Salvation is by far the best entry in the franchise. Sure, the first two Terminators were cool when they first came out–much like stone-wash jeans–but they just don’t stand the test of time. The story is still one of the most compelling in sci-fi, but you have to get through a lot of cheese to get to the meat of the Terminator mythos.

"Is there a crew guy behind me?"

Set in the year 2018, Salvation doesn’t waste time with cute cyborg-out-of-water scenarios (though there are cyborgs in the water). Instead, the film, a prequel of sorts, skips the time travel to paint a brutally dismal future where a variety of  killing machines–each more frightening than the last–hunt down human survivors. John Connor (Bale) is now leading the war against Skynet and has discovered its plan to harvest people to use in the development of their new human/cyborg hybrid … the T-800.

Along with providing the origins of the T-800, Salvation also introduces Conner’s father Kyle Reese (Anton Yelchin) as an adolescent. Other new characters joining in on the battle against the bots include more human than human cyborg Marcus Wright (Sam Worthington) and femme-fatal warrior and pilot Blair Williams (Moon Bloodgood).

Terminator: Rise of the ... well, you know.

Salvation really comes through in story and jaw-dropping effects (think The Road meets Transformers). The scope and intensity MCG has brought to the franchise is impressive and sure to pump up fans for a new series of Terminator movies. It should also be noted that Bale has given us a John Connor we can finally stand behind (hard to believe Edward Furlong’s whiny teen-bitch Connor grew up to be such a bad-ass).

Terminator: Salvation is available on DVD and Blu-ray disc from Warner Home Video. If you have the means, I recommend the Blu-ray. Along with a handful of bonus features, the BD includes an R-rated Director’s Cut of the movie that features a little more violence and a deleted brief topless scene from the very sexy Moon Bloodgood.

RENT: SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT BOX SET (PARTS 3, 4, 5)

The first Silent Night, Deadly Night is the amusingly disturbing tale of a boy named Ricky Caldwell who grows up to be a serial killer after witnessing the murders of his parents by a killer in a Santa suit. The film is holiday classic and definitely a must own. It’s four sequels, however, add up to a steaming pile of coal. But, that’s not stopping Lionsgate Home Video from releasing a three-disc set priced at $19.99 (you can pick it up at Amazon for $14.99). The box set marks the first time the following three titles are available on DVD:

Silent Night, Deadly Night 3: Better Watch Out finds Ricky stalking a blind clairvoyant girl as she travels with her brother to meet her family on Christmas Eve. Cast includes stunner Laura Harring (One Missed Call, Dead Women in Lingerie) and Bill Moseley (Devil’s Rejects, Halloween) as Ricky Caldwell.

Silent Night, Deadly Night 4: Initiation dashes off in a completely different direction by centering its story around an ancient Egyptian cult. Noteworthy actors include “Moonlighting’s” Allyce Beasley, Bond-girl Maud Adams, and B-movie icon Clint Howard (Halloween, the Dentist 2).

Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker stars a then 71-year-old Mickey Rooney as a beloved toy maker with a Geppetto complex who may be up to no good.

These sequels are awful, but worth a few laughs if viewed while intoxicated. I suggest using your Netflix.

BURY: DEADLINE

Brittany Murphy stars as Alice, an emotionally unstable writer out to finish a manuscript in a desolate Victorian house. Spooked by unexplained noises and an ongoing sensation that she’s being watched, Alice explores the house and finds camera tapes belonging to a troubled couple that once lived at the residence . The woman in the video (Thora Birch) appears tormented and it soon becomes clear to Alice that the woman is dead and haunting the home.

Deadline is pretty generic stuff. In fact, it’s so dull, I couldn’t help but to think about the deadlines I was missing by watching this flick. No scares. No suspense. And , the make-up is Halloween shop caliber. All this could have been forgiven with some frivolous Birch boob shots, but such was not the case.

Deadline is available from First Look Studios. Both DVD and Blu-ray include a short BTS featurette and trailers.

Those who felt their loyalty tested during the fifth installment of Lionsgate’s Saw series can now rest easy. Director Kevin Greutert isn’t playing games. Saw 6 not only stands alone as an exceptional white-knuckle horror film, it truly rewards fans of the series by providing further insight into their beloved anti-heroes and by revealing jaw-dropping twists that will blow even the most die-hard away.

Saw 6 finds former civil engineer turned “Jigsaw Killer” John Kramer (the great Tobin Bell) posthumously tormenting the morally-challenged employees of a major health insurance provider. William (Peter Outerbridge), the company’s slick CEO, is the man responsible for denying Kramer’s request for an experimental cancer treatment that could have saved his life. Not surprisingly, the heartless suit takes center stage in Kramer’s game.

While most non-horror movie critics will scoff at Saw 6’s stab at political commentary, those of us who don’t need to stare at Sean Penn’s (Milk) weepy face for three hours to appreciate a message film can get caught up in the ultimate HMO revenge fantasy that follows (I saw the movie twice during its opening weekend for its therapeutic value alone).

Which brings us to the traps.

Saw 6 features some disturbingly wonderful contraptions, the most intense of which is the “carousel.” William’s “dog pit” of actuaries find themselves strapped onto a spinning carousel that is rigged to a shotgun set to blast them one at a time. William can only save two of the six people by pressing a fail-safe button that triggers a drill into his hand.

The folks on the carousel plead desperately for their lives (I’m pregnant!) and throw each other under the bus (“No, she’s not! She’s fucking lying!”). It’s a gruesome scene that works both the nerves and funny bone.

Of course, the real trappings to a Saw film lie in its mythos. The movies are meant to be viewed as a whole, each installment a piece to a bigger story (not unlike “Lost” and other works that develop an intricate mythology). Writers Marcus Dunstan and Patrick Melton do an exceptional job of enhancing the Saw backstory. The duo joined the franchise in 2007, stepping in for original series writer Leigh Whannell. After a shaky start on Saw 4, they showed promise in part five when they fleshed out the relationship between Kramer and the detective Hoffman character.

Costas Mandylor (who up until now I had only enjoyed on David Kelly’s 1992 TV serial “Picket Fences”) really captivates in this entry as hardboiled detective Hoffman, Jigsaw’s morally-compromised successor. Watching Hoffman continue to scramble for a chance to reclaim his life after Kramer’s death is nail-biting good stuff. His final confrontation with Kramer’s wife (Betsy Russell) is a scene stealing surprise that will pump up fans for part seven. However, it’s Shawnee Smith’s much welcomed return as homicidal hottie Amanda that delivers the film’s biggest “Oh, shit!” revelation.

Saw 6 is in theaters now.