A drunk man attending the fifth annual Star Wars Celebration in Orlando, Florida this weekend discovered that Adrianne Curry’s vagina was not the one he was looking for when the 27-year-old fashion model and Cos-play enthusiast had him arrested for attempting to finger her Sarlacc Pit without consent or modeling job offer.

According to Curry, the tipsy assailant reached underneath her Slave Leia robes to molest her with his keys in hand, leaving her vaginal area with cuts and bruises. Curry’s entourage quickly subdued the drunk by cracking his head against the pavement five times while Curry spat on him and called the cops.

Curry tweeted:

waiting4an hour &a half 4 cops 2 show up at orlando4 a drunk man who reached up my skirt&molested me..then tried2drive drunk away.thanks …
– cops are here..molesting pervert drunk in the back of their car.

FYI, I not only elbowed the guy in the face, I spit on him , screamed, and my friends cracked his head on the pavement more than 5 times

I am ok, have some bruising downstairs and a cut, cause i think he had his keys in his hand when he did it…but I am ok.

Man, oh, man. Curry’s hubby Peter Brady isn’t going to be happy about having his prized Podracer keyed. But, really, I’m sure the randy drunk didn’t mean to stab Curry’s twat with his house keys. Those Wookie costumes don’t have any pockets.

So, if we can learn something from this ugly incident, it is most likely that, when trying to get frisky at a Star Wars convention, we should always wear a costume with enough pockets to hold our keys, roofies, and duct tape. Something like an X-Wing Pilot’s outfit, or maybe Boba Fett (I think he’s sports cargo pants, right?).

To see photos of Curry engaged in Star Wars Cos-Play, go here and here.

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  1. Stan lee is not a perv