2011
02.24

‘Caprica’ Star Alessandra Torresani Is a Slave (Leia) for You!

alessandra-torresani-slave-leia

Alessandra Torresani is once again causing sci-fi fans to feel a disturbance in their pants. The 23-year-old star of Syfy’s now defunct “Battlestar Galactica” prequel series “Caprica” dons Princess Leia’s Return of the Jedi slave girl bikini in Break Originals’ music video parody of Enrique Iglesias’ love ballad “Tonight, I’m Fucking You.”

Entitled “Tonight, I’m Frakkin’ You,” the video finds a Vulcan Jedi navigating the nightclub scene in a galaxy far, far away. The song gives mad props to many of the sci-fi and superhero genres’ most beloved movies and shows, including  Star Wars, Star Trek, “LOST,” “Dr. Who,” “Battlestar Galactica,” “Dollhouse,” Spiderman, Back to the Future, and Harry Potter.

Peep it:

While not quite on Weird Al Yankovic (“Yoda,” “The Saga Begins”) level, the force is, nonetheless, strong with this parody. Chances are the tune will ear-worm its way into your head so you may as well learn the lyrics:

I’m like Kenobi
Seeking passage to Alderaan with you
We’ll watch Big Bang Theory
As you ride my TARDIS and call me Doctor Who

You’re into Cosplay (oooh)
Damn that’s one fine skin job on you.
Beam Me Up Hottie (oooo oooh)
My Vulcan Logic tells me its time to groove

Across the federation
My Jedi inclination
Tells me that I am a suitable mate for you
We Love Next Generation
Xbox over Playstation
Its time that I tap from your Mana Pool

Cause tonight I’m Frakking You
Whoa you know
That tonight I’m Frakking You
Whoa you know

Are You Gwen Stacey
My Spidey sense says I’d shoot my web all on you
I’m No Fergengi
I drop more coin than Mario on mushrooms

Your Dharma education
Delorean transporation
Revs my engine to warp speed like Mr. Sulu
Dollhouse’s cancellation
Hurt like Luke’s amputation
Its time to Mork Me and say Nanoo Nanoo

Cause tonight I’m Frakking You
Whoa you know
That tonight I’m Frakking You
Whoa you know

Ha! Kunal…
Let’s Meet Up In Naboo
We’ll roll around like R2-D2
You’ve set my phasers to stun
Cause your Sarlaac Pit’s
Got more spice in it
Than the planet Dune

From Asgard’s
Hallowed halls
Everybody big bangs Kunal
Gotham or Hogwarts
My Broad Sword’ll Be the one
Thing To Rule them all

Lets clone your body
Join them all together to form a Guild
and go on a Quest
We can use my expansion pack
Then I’ll take you down like Boba Fett
Up Up, Down Down
Left, Right, Left Right
B, A, Select then Start
Its time to one-up
Thirty lives with you, (cuz tonight I’m)

Cuz tonight I’m Frakking You
Whoa you know
That tonight I’m Frakking You
Whoa you know
That tonight I’m Frakking You

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