2016
11.08

Scarlett Johansson Not Nude in ‘Ghost In the Shell,’ Sinks Movie’s Chances!

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Scarlett Johansson stars in director Rupert Sanders’ (Snow White and the Huntsman) big screen adaptation of the Japanese manga Ghost in the Shell. Johansson plays The Major, a sexy special ops cyborg who in the manga has no qualms about killing people while nude.

Unfortunately, Paramount Pictures has squashed all hope of seeing a nude Johansson assassin with the release of a 13-second teaser revealing the fugly thermoptic suit Johansson will be wearing in place of going gloriously nude.

Peep the horrific suit:

Producer and asshole Avi Arad believes audiences will be satisfied to see Johansson in the suit and tells Collider blah, blah, blah.

Avi Arad said:

She’s not actually naked. This is a whole suit she’s wearing. The thermoptic. We’re not actually trying to pretend she’s naked. Some of the stuff she wears in the anime and the manga, when you make a movie things become much more literal.

If you’re in a world with someone walking around in a thong, we’re not in a world where that was going to feel natural. So we didn’t do it. But in cases when you’re being born… that’s why they call it the birthday suit.

Don’t know about you, but we don’t want to live in a world where beautiful women walking around in a thong isn’t natural. In fact, we think women in thongs should not only walk, but run, jump, stretch, do cartwheels, jump some more, fight, drive, fly, crawl, stand, sleep, and scoop ice cream.

Arad added:

We weren’t going to have Scarlett or The Major character running around naked in the action scene for a million reasons. It would be strange. It was also cool as there is a vulnerability wearing something like [the thermoptic suit].

No, Arad, it’s not cool. It’s not strange and it’s not cool. It could have been cool… but now it’s not.

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2016
11.06

Olivia Munn Better Not Die In ‘The Predator’

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Writer and director Shane Black will follow up his God awful and stupidly dull The Nice Guys with a new sequel in the often-lame-but-nowhere-near-as-lame-as-The-Nice-Guys Predator franchise for Twentieth Century Fox. Thankfully, he’s already made one awesome decision: Olivia Munn.

Olivia Munn has been cast to play a super-sexy scientist in The Predator, which Black co-wrote with Monster Squad and Night of the Creeps writer and director Fred Dekker. All other details are being kept under wraps, but here’s hoping Munn outlives them all or at least survives long enough for a shower scene.

Munn is coming off X-Men: Apocalypse as hot bad girl mutant Psylocke and co-starred in the exorcism drama Deliver Us From Evil in 2014. Her best and most frightening work remains Ghost Tits, the story of a man married to a woman with large breasts who awakens one morning to discover that her ample boobs never existed.

2016
11.05

Feminist Be Damned! ‘Wonder Woman’ Is Hot Fantasy!

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Warner Bros. released a second trailer for its eagerly anticipated Wonder Woman movie this week, immediately triggering more boring and bullshit feminist discussion over the character and her mission. Lord forbid she fall in love with a man or rely on help from his filthy penis-wielding kind to open a jar .

Wonder Woman will always be a hot chick in a hot shorts kicking lots of ass in the name of justice. That’s all she needs to be. That’s enough to inspire impressionable young women everywhere to be like her… at hot Halloween costume contests.

Peep it:

2016
11.03

Brittany Snow Meets the ‘Hangman’

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Brittany Snow (Pitch Perfect) stars alongside Al Pacino (Scarface) and Karl Urban (Dredd) in Hangman, a serial killer drama from director Johnny Martin (Delirium), who said Snow brings “a fresh, instinctual presence to the production.”

Hangman stars Snow as a crime journalist following a decorated homicide detective (Pacino) and a criminal profiler (Urban) on the trail of a serial killer whose M.O. involves inspiration from the childhood game of Hangman. Cameras roll Nov. 17 in Atlanta.

Hangman marks Snow’s return to horror since 2012’s Would You Rather. She’s also starred in 2008’s remake of Prom Night, but is best known for her role in musical comedy franchise Pitch Perfect.

2016
11.02

Rebecca Ferguson Gives Us Lust for ‘Life’

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Sony Pictures and Skydance Media have released a trailer for Life, a star-studded sci-fi thriller from director Daniel Espinosa (Safe House) and screenwriters Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick (Deadpool). Cast includes Jake Gyllenhaal (Nightcrawler), Ryan Reynolds (Deadpool), Hiroyuki Sanada (The Wolverine), and stunner Rebecca Ferguson (The Girl On the Train).

The film follows the crew of an international space station on the brink of discovering life on Mars. Unfortunately for them, that life is intelligent and deadly. The footage has a very cool Alien meets Gravity vibe. Reynolds is funny and Ferguson (pictured above) is always interesting to watch (did that sound creepy). Movie arrives May 26, 2017.

Peep it:

2016
11.01

Screamfest 2016 Award Winners Announced!

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The 16th annual Screamfest Horror Film Festival came to a close last week with the announcement of its Skully Award Show winners. The Pierce Brosnan produced thriller My Father Die took home Best Picture and Best Director honors for writer/director Sean Brosnan.

“Big Bang Theory” star Johnny Galecki won Best Actor for his role in writer/director Babby Miller’s The Master Cleanse and Mimosa Williamo (tastiest name ever) earned Best Actress honors for acclaimed Finnish true-crime thriller Lake Bodom.

We were beyond bummed not to see Richard Bates Jr.’s Trash Fire recognized. Not only did the film feature powerful performances by leads Adrian Grenier (”Entourage”) and Angela Trimbur (The Final Girls), it arguably had one of the best dark comedy scripts in festival history.

The winners are:

Best Short – A Nearly Perfect Blue Sky
Best Student Short – Pigskin – Jake Hammond
Best Editing – Jason Eric Perlman & Sean Brosnan – My Father Die
Best Actor – Johnny Galecki – The Master Cleanse
Best Musical Score – Justin Small & Ohad Benchetrit – My Father Die
Best Actress – Mimosa Williamo – Lake Bodom
Best Makeup – Naomi Bakstad – The Master Cleanse
Best Cinematography – Joe Dietsch – Happy Hunting
Best Special FX – Nicholas Podbrey, Werner Pretorius & Creature FX Artists – The Master Cleanse
Best Visual FX – George A. Loucas – The Master Cleanse
Best Unproduced Screenplay – Plum Island – Matthew Lee Blackburn
Best Director – Sean Brosnan – My Father Die
Best Picture – My Father Die

2016
10.29

amber-jean

Busty model Amber Jean is generating a healthy dose of buzz for Full Auto Films and Code 3 Films’ Christmas themed horror show, Massacre On Aisle 12. The movie follows a hardware store employee’s night when he discovers a dead body and a duffel bag of money on the job.

Massacre on Aisle 12 appears to be Jean’s movie debut. Aside from being a contestant on Latino network Telemundo’s sexy matchmaker game show “12 Corazones,” Jean’s creds are mostly of the modeling variety and can be perused on her website.

Peep it:

2016
10.29

Have a Jolly, Jolly Christmas: Rob Zombie’s ’31’ Coming to Blu-ray/DVD!

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Lionsgate Home Entertainment has set a Dec. 20 release date for DVD and Blu-ray editions of Rob Zombie’s 31, a Halloween-set survival frightener pitting a group of abducted carnie folks against murderous clowns hired to hunt and slaughter them by their mysterious abductors.

The 31 Blu-ray and DVD includes the two-hour making-of documentary, “In Hell Everybody Loves Popcorn: The Making of 31,” and audio commentary from writer and director Rob Zombie.

The 31 cast is made up of Sheri Moon Zombie (Lords of Salem), Jeff Daniel Phillips (“Westworld”), Meg Foster (They Live), Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs (”Welcome Back Kotter”), Richard Brake (Hannibal Rising), and Malcolm McDowell (Clockwork Orange).

Read Clatto’s review of 31 here.

2016
10.29

No Happy Endings at ‘A Cure for Wellness’ Spa!

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Twentieth Century Fox has released a trailer for Gore Verbinski’s A Cure for Wellness, a stylishly eerie psychological thriller starring Dane DeHaan (Chronicle) as a young company executive sent to retrieve his CEO from a wellness center in the Swiss Alps where strange experiments are being conducted on spa guests.

Well if its cheaper than the spa at The Wynn in Vegas, we’re all in no matter how creepy things get. A good Swedish butt rub is a good Swedish butt rub! A Cure for Wellness marks Verbinski’s return to horror since 2002’s fright classic The Ring and arrives in theaters Feb. 17, 2017.

Peep it:

2016
10.24

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Don’t Kill It will have its Los Angeles premiere Tuesday at the 16th annual Screamfest Horror Film Festival in Los Angeles, running through Oct. 27. Helmed by Mike Mendez (Big Ass Spider), the supernatural actioner pairs Dolph Lundgren (Rocky IV) and Kristina Klebe (Halloween, 2007) as mismatched demon hunters out to save a small Alaskan town from an ancient evil.

The synopsis reads:

An ancient evil is unleashed in a small Alaskan town leaving a trail of death and destruction as it passes from host to host. The only hope of survival lies with a grizzled demon hunter (Lundgren) who has faced this terror before. Together with a reluctant FBI agent (Klebe) he has to figure out how to destroy a demon with the ability to possess its killer.

Peep it: