2009
11.26

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Bon Appetit, Blogsuckers,

Have I got a special Thanksgiving Day treat for you: an exclusive interview with Mr. & Mrs. Muki, founders of the girl-gobbling gourmet site MukisKitchen.com. The site has been around for 10 years and serves up plenty of succulent nude babes in erotically-charged cannibalistic scenarios. It’s an acquired taste for sure, but one that I think you’ll find intriguing.

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Clatto: How did Muki’s Kitchen come to fruition?

Mr. Muki: To tell the truth, having a fetish as odd and dark as this can be very lonely.

Mrs. Muki: When we first discovered that Mr Muki was not alone in his cannibal fantasies (via Usenet–the World Wide Web was not up yet), most of the stuff we saw online consisted of stories, some drawings, and a few photo-manipulations. The photo-mainpulations were kind of interesting but they mostly consisted of a pin-up image of some naked girl, cut out and pasted into a fake tray or some other cooking situation.

Well by this time, Mr Muki had already photographed me in turkey-like poses and had also photographed an art-model in even more explicit shots. He was already a professional photographer, with his own studio, and had done work in special effects for low-budget motion pictures. In short, there was probably no one more qualified to do the very kinds of pictures that the cannibal fetishists would most enjoy. While exploring what was out there, we started thinking about how like-minded fetishists would react to the images we had already made, if only they could see them! This is what got us thinking that we might just have something if we only put the effort into building a site.

Clatto: These fantasies are extremely provocative. Do you worry that people won’t get it? Or, that it may encourage violence towards women?

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Mr. Muki: When we first started planning Muki’s Kitchen, the thought that someone might take it as a blueprint for criminal acts was most definitely our main concern. Fortunately, we hit upon the perfect “tone” for our site. Humor is definitely a large part of how we handle the “dark side” of what we do. You really can’t take any of this too seriously and the more you relax and have fun with it, the healthier it will be for you!

Mrs. Muki: Some of our most ardent fans are women. We emphasize fantasy in our visuals as well as our writing. All of our pictures are strictly of women, playing both the chefs and the entrees. Mr. Muki completely identifies with women, whether they’re the chefs or the entrees, and we feel that this is a large part of our site’s appeal to women.

Think about it, a lot of sexual fantasy is all about tension. The girl who is playing the chef almost certainly empathizes with the girl who she is preparing as the entree; only a very thin thread of luck separates the chef from suddenly being the entree. If you put yourself in either place, you are very close to being the other. As weird as it may seem, Mr. Muki completely identifies with both places and his male-self does not even exist in his own sexual fantasies!

Mr. Muki: While the literal concept of cannibalism does indeed have a very violent implication to it, the symbolic side of it is all about making the object of your affections a complete and permanent part of yourself. Yes, the physical reality of it is that the person you eat will eventually be pooped out of your butt, but we don’t really concentrate on that part all too much. If you look at the more infantile and ethereal side of it all, a “consuming passion” actually makes a lot of sense!

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Clatto: Do the models understand the fetish?

Mr. Muki: When we started our site, our biggest worry was how we would get models to pose as meat. We need not have worried so much. Some of our very biggest fans are the very models who pose for us! Maybe it’s just that what we do is so different from what they are usually asked to do, but we also credit our very professional approach and the fact that we always strive to make our models look their very best, i.e. sexy & delicious!

Clatto: Is being consumed the ultimate experience for a submissive female?

Mr. Muki: For many of our female fans, and a few models, yes. Think of all of the attention that a Thanksgiving turkey gets when being cooked and served. Wouldn’t all that attention be appealing? Can you just imagine, being a sexy woman, how it would feel knowing that your cooked body would be so appreciated? Okay, we’re probably getting a little carried away here. But, the point is that a true sub wants to completely submit to her master and to be completely satisfying. Is there any more ultimate submission than to be cooked, served, and eaten?

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Mrs. Muki: In all seriousness, one of the fascinating appeals of this silly little fetish is the thought that the girl who is the entree is completely beyond any feelings of shame or modesty. The fact that she is being served on a platter, with her legs folded up above her, and her crotch and backside completely exposed, is a small issue compared to being eaten! This is what we try to express in our photos and what our fans seem to like the most.

Clatto: If you could cook up a celebrity babe, who would you choose and how would you serve her?

Mr. Muki: How about Scarlett Johansson? Scarlett, if you are reading this, please accept this as a compliment. We wish you no harm and are only saying that you certainly do look absolutely delicious! You just can’t serve Scarlett wrong; we’ll eat her up any way she’s served.

Clatto: Is the human liver really served best with fava beans and a nice Chianti?

Mr. Muki: We are not so much into guts and prefer a nice rump-roast. As for side dishes, sauteed onions are our favorites. Regarding choice of wine (and not meaning to cast aspersions on Hannibal’s choices), Chianti is a little low class. If a woman is willing to sacrifice her ass for our meal, she deserves at least a fine Opus One, preferably a 1995!

2009
11.26

The 5 Most Diabolical Dinner Parties in Horror!

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Ah, Thanksgiving. The time of year when we all get together with family and give thanks that we got the fuck away when we did. So what if we had to do questionable things in truck stop bathrooms to get by. The point is we got out! It is in that spirit that I present to you Clatto’s Top 5 Diabolical Dinner Parties:

5. DEAD ALIVE – “CUSTARD WITH MUM”

Oscar-winner Peter Jackson is revered by the masses as the esteemed director of The Lord of the Rings, King Kong, and The Lovely Bones. But, to gore-geeks, he is the twisted fuck behind such over-the-top gross-out fare as Bad Taste, Meet the Feebles, and the 1992 zombie-themed cult-fav Dead Alive. The “Custard with Mum” scene (as I call it) finds our protagonist Lionel Cosgrove hosting supper with his “rat-monkey” virus infected mother (Elizabeth Moody).

4. ROPE – “LATE FOR DINNER”

Horror legend Alfred Hitchcock didn’t need gore to disturb audiences. Loosely based on a true story, 1948’s Rope centers on two well-to-do University students in Manhattan who decide to murder their classmate named David just to see if they can get away with it.  But, the diabolical due don’t stop there. They stuff the dead body into an antique wooden chest, drape it over with a tablecloth, set candles and appetizers on top of it, and invite the deceased’s friends and family over for a dinner party! Watching the guests ask “where’s David” throughout the film always triggers groans and head shakes from viewers.

3. APOCALYPTO – “WOULD YOU LIKE BALLS WITH THAT?”

Know that feeling of dread you get around the dinner table when everyone is digging into some pumpkin pie, but your wife has set aside some low-carb, sugar-free bowl of sawdust for you to eat because you’ve gained a few too many pounds and could fall into a diabetic coma at any minute? That’s kind of what happens to Blunted when his tribe is divvying up their tapir dinner at the beginning of Mel Gibson’s Apocalypto. As the only male in the group to not have produced offspring, he’s told he must eat balls if he wants to be fertile. Of course, the whole thing is one big joke. Sound familiar, fat boy?

2. TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE – “IT’S ALL RELATIVE”

Marilyn Burns (Helter Skelter) is the guest of honor in Tobe Hooper’s classic 1974 cannibal horror-fest The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Memorable for its numerous scenes of brutality, the dinner table finale ranks as one of the most disturbing and surreal moments in horror cinema. The unrelenting torment Burn’s character Sally suffers through works on our nerves so thoroughly it induces some serious asshole-clenching fright. Kinda like my brother’s vegan wife’s tofu dishes.

1. ALIVE – “SO, WHAT’S FOR DINNER?”

Director Frank Marshall’s 1993 film Alive tells the true tragic tale of the 1972 Andes flight disaster that forced survivors to eat their dead to stay (say it with me) alive! The acting in the flick is a little stiff … but, when you realize that this really happened, it makes it the most diabolical dinner party ever. The only thing worse would be to have to eat vegetables.

And, don’t forget to check out these lists:

The 20 Hottest Women Working in Horror/Sci-Fi Today: Part Two (#10-thr-#1)

The 20 Hottest Women Working in Horror/Sci-Fi Today: Part One (#20-thru-#11)

The 11 Sexiest Maneater Babes in Horror/Sci-fi

The 10 Hottest Horror/Sci-Fi Babes of the Past Decade

12 Heroes in Horror/Sci-fi That Won’t Make You Feel Like an Asshole

15 Vampire Movies That Won’t Make You Gay

2009
11.26

Uncensored ‘Thanksgiving’ Day Cheer from Eli Roth

Happy Turkey Day. Enjoy an uncensored serving of Thanksgiving Day brutality courtesy of sick fuck Eli Roth (Hostel, Cabin Fever).

2009
11.26

Will Megan Fox Be Killed Off in ‘Transformers 3?”

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Megan Fox will return as Mikaela Banes in producer Michael Bay’s third installment in the unstoppable Transformers franchise. Fox, who was described by the Transformers crew as a “thankless, unfriendly bitch,” has been doing damage control since comparing Bay to Adolf Hitler in an interview with Wonderland magazine and referring to Transformers as nonsensical on the “CBS Early Show.”

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During her acceptance speech at last month’s Spike TV Scream Awards, Fox said:

There have been a lot of false reports about how I feel about this movie. I just want to be very clear that I’ve always felt I’m a very ordinary part of an extraordinary film. The movie took me out of obscurity and gave me a career, and I’m completely grateful to everyone involved with this franchise.

It appears tensions still remain, however, as Fox was a no-show to Bay’s recent reunion party for the cast and crew of Transformers, leading many to speculate that Fox’s character in the upcoming film will most likely meet a bitter end. Bay nixed those rumors by telling USA Today that “She’s [Fox] got a great part in Transformers 3.”

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Bay also posted the following message to Fox on his website:

P.S. Megan Fox, welcome back. I promise no alien robots will harm you in any way during the production of this motion picture. Please consult your Physician when working under my direction because some side effects can occur, such as mild dizziness, intense nausea, suicidal tendencies, depression, minor chest hair growth, random internal hemorrhaging and inability to sleep. As some directors may be hazardous to your health, please consult your Doctor to determine if this is right for you.

Personally, I could do without Shia LaBeouf, Optimus Prime, Bubblebee, and the whole lot. Just give me 3-plus hours of Megan Fox in cut-offs playing with the old Hasbro toys.

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Transformers 3 is slated for release on July 1, 2011.

2009
11.26

New Images from ‘Legion’

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Ever wonder what would happen if God finally got tired of your degenerate ways? Writer/director Scott Stewart’s day-of-reckoning pic Legion may give you an idea … and a reason to volunteer at the local soup kitchen this Thanksgiving.

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The synopsis reads:

After a terrifying biblical apocalypse descends upon the world, a group of strangers stranded in a remote truck stop diner in the Southwest unwittingly become humanity’s last line of defense when they discover the diner’s young waitress is pregnant with the messiah.

Legion stars Dennis Quaid, Paul Bettany (Priest, The Da Vinci Code), Kevin Durand (X-Men Origins: Wolverine), Tyrese Gibson (Death Race, Transformers), Adrianne Palicki (Red Dawn), Willa Holland, Kate Walsh, Lucas Black, and Charles S. Dutton (Alien 3, Gothica).

Legion opens Jan. 22. Check out the following gallery: