Sometimes, while seeking out stereo equipment and interracial porn on the web, I come across fashion sites that rate what celebrities are wearing. To my surprise, the actresses that wear skimpy outfits always end up earning a D- or an F grade, while fat chicks in hefty bags score high marks. WTF?
Former “Sweet Valley High” star Brittany Daniel is the latest actress to put a bee in fashionistas’ bonnets. The 34-year-old blonde attended the BET Awards decked out in what appears to be Cenobite couture. Sure, a mini cocktail dress sans panties would have gone over just as well, but I applaud the moxie!
Daniel is just one of the many hot actresses set to star in Colin and Greg Strause’s (Aliens vs. Predators: Requiem) upcoming sci-fi thriller Skyline. Her creds include The Hamiltons, Rampage: The Hillside Strangler Murders, and the horror-comedy Club Dred.
Warner Bros. has released the first official trailer for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, the last entry in the beloved blockbuster saga. The film is being split in two with the first part set to hit theaters on Nov. 19 and the second on July 15, 2011.
Take a peek:
If like me, you nodded off during last year’s snoozefest Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, the following synopsis for the Deathly Hallows part one should bring you up to speed:
Part 1 begins as Harry, Ron, and Hermione set out on their perilous mission to track down and destroy the secret to Voldemort’s immortality and destruction—the Horcruxes. On their own, without the guidance of their professors or the protection of Professor Dumbledore, the three friends must now rely on one another more than ever. But there are Dark Forces in their midst that threaten to tear them apart.
Meanwhile, the wizarding world has become a dangerous place for all enemies of the Dark Lord. The long-feared war has begun and Voldemort’s Death Eaters seize control of the Ministry of Magic and even Hogwarts, terrorizing and arresting anyone who might oppose them. But the one prize they still seek is the one most valuable to Voldemort: Harry Potter. The Chosen One has become the hunted one as the Death Eaters search for Harry with orders to bring him to Voldemort…alive.
Harry’s only hope is to find the Horcruxes before Voldemort finds him. But as he searches for clues, he uncovers an old and almost forgotten tale—the legend of the Deathly Hallows. And if the legend turns out to be true, it could give Voldemort the ultimate power he seeks.
Little does Harry know that his future has already been decided by his past when, on that fateful day, he became “the Boy Who Lived.” No longer just a boy, Harry Potter is drawing ever closer to the task for which he has been preparing since the day he first stepped into Hogwarts: the ultimate battle with Voldemort.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is directed by David Yates and will arrive in theaters in 3-D, 3-D IMAX, and in standard save-yourself-five-bucks 2-D.
To read about Universal Studios Orlando’s new Wizarding World of Harry Potter, go here and here.
New Films International is giving director Deon Taylor’s upcoming indie-slasher Chain Letter a limited theatrical release on Aug. 6 in the cities of Los Angeles, New York , Chicago, Houston, Detroit, and Atlanta.
Chain Letter stars Nikki Reed (The Twilight Saga) as Jesse Campbell, a popular student whose friends are systematically murdered by the Chain Man when they fail to pass along a chain email. The film costars Betsy Russell (Saw 6), Cherilyn Wilson (The Roomate), Keith David (Coraline), and Brad Dourif (Halloween 2).
While it’s great to know that this long-delayed frightener will soon hit theaters, I fear that those cities not included in the limited engagement are now in for years of bad luck.
Fortunately for our balls, photos of the curvy Brit frolicking in Barbados surfaced this weekend. The shots feature Brook catching some rays on the sand, taking a dip in the ocean, canoeing with girlfriends, and, of course, tugging her bikini bottom out of her tush (pictured above).
If the wholesomeness of these pics offend you, go here to see Kelly butt-nekid!
The camel spider first entered our nightmares in 1990 when photos hit the net featuring Gulf War soldiers holding the horrifyingly huge arachnids (pictured above).
While know-it-all entomologists quickly dispelled supposed myths about the face-hugger-like creatures, downplaying their size and speed, they did admit that some can reach speeds of 10-fucking-miles-per-hour and bite … hard:
Uh-oh. Now, this soldier will have spidey senses & not need water for days.
Director Tom Martwick is now set to give the camel spider its closeup. His film Extraction follows a U.S. platoon hunted down by mutated camel spiders while stationed in Iraq. Judging from the teaser, this flick has got some production value behind it and steers clear from your typical Syfy creature-feature.
Take a look:
Martwick is currently working on Extraction so there is no release date at this moment. But, we’ll keep an eye—or eight—out for more info.
In the meantime, why not read about this more friendly and health-conscious vegan spider.
When I was just a little Muertos growing up in Bayou St. John, New Awlins, I asked my folks for an AT-AT Star Wars toy from Kenner every Christmas. I always got bait & tackle instead.
But I was OK with that because deep down I knew that learning a craft like fishing would teach me important virtues such as patience, discipline, and self reliance—virtues that would one day help me achieve tremendous success as a writer.
That belief has gotten me through many sleepless nights when I wondered if writing about Rachel Nichol’s giant tits on a horror blog is the road to riches I once thought it to be. Well, today, thanks to French-Canadian director Patrick Boivin, I know that not only was I wrong, but I really missed out on not having an AT-AT!
“True Blood” star Anna Paquin tells Self magazine that she and her costars have seen the trailer for New Sensations’ porn parody of the HBO bloodsucker serial and finds it amusing.
She says:
How funny is that? Someone brought their computer to set and we all watched the trailer for it. We all think it’s hilarious!
There are those who might say our show didn’t really need to have a porn parody because we do a pretty good job. How much racier can it get? Well, obviously it can, but you know.
Sadly, the piece failed to provide Paquin’s thoughts on Evan Stone’s balls.
HBO has picked up “True Blood” for a fourth season.
Tru: A XXX Parody features pretty blonde cock-socket Ashlynn Brooke in the Sookie Stackhouse role and Misty Stone as her best friend Tara Thornton.
Ashlynn Brooke
While most people will roll their eyes at the bad acting and ridiculous wardrobe and make-up, my only gripe is over the missing gap in between Sookie’s front teeth. Couldn’t they have Sharpied it in?
Following a fan-driven campaign to keep her on the show, departing “Criminal Minds” star A.J. Cook announced today that she will be back this fall for two more episodes.
Cook, who plays Special Agent Jennifer “J.J.” Jareau, tweeted tonight:
Thanks for your undying support but it’s a done deal. I’ll be doing 2 [episodes] to wrap up [my storyline]. [I am] excited for what’s next and hope you’ll come along!
Word that producers weren’t picking up Cook’s contract leaked a little over a week ago. Her costar Paget Brewster (Emily Prentiss), who almost got the boot as well, is reportedly working out a “reduced episode” deal for season six.
Cook’s horror creds include Final Destination 2, Ripper, Wishmaster 3: Beyond the Gates of Hell, The House Next Door, Bloodsuckers, Night Skies, and the Fox television series “Tru Calling.”
Jaime King (My Bloody Valentine 3-D) and genre director Tim Sullivan (2001 Maniacs: Field of Screams) join Hollywood acting coach John Homa as judges in the second season of VH1’s horror-themed reality show “Scream Queens 2.”
“Scream Queens” pits 10 aspiring actresses against each other in scenarios inspired by classic horror films. The winner is awarded a role in Lionsgate’s Saw 7, in theaters Oct. 22.
The show, which debuted in October ’08, was originally hosted by Homa, director James Gunn (Slither), and Saw’sShawnee Smith. Acting novice Tanedra Howard won the season, scoring herself a memorable part in last year’s criminally overlooked Saw 6.
“Scream Queens 2” premieres on VH1 on August 2 at 10 p.m.
Jaime King’s creds also include Frank Miller’s The Spirit, Robert Rodriguez’s Sin City, and the 2003 fantasy-actioner Bulletproof Monk. She will next be seen in Saw 3 director Darren Lynn Bousman’s Mother.
In the meantime, check out some promo shots from the upcoming season:
The stars posed for pictures and signed autographs while making their way down the red carpet. Pattinson did his best not to look bored and Stewart managed to contort her face into what appeared to be a smile a couple of times. Eighteen-year-old teen wolf Lautner did not flash his abs, but instead wore a sharp suit and pretended not to be scared by the fortysomethings looking to give him a bone.
Also attending the shindig were “Twilight” author Stephanie Meyer, Eclipse director David Slade and stars Bryce Dallas Howard and Xavier Samual, former “Ghost Whisperer” Jennifer Love Hewitt, the Kardashian sisters, model Marissa Miller, L.A. Laker Ron Artest, Oscar nominee Anna Kendrick, AnnaLynne McCord, Jamie King, Briana Evigan, Will Smith’s kid, director Kevin Smith, and your fat mom.
