This is model/actress Kelly Brook leaning against apartment walls in her underwear. But, unlike your slutty knocked-up sister, she is getting paid by some fancy-pants lingerie manufacturer named Ultimo to do so.
You can also see the 30-year-old stunner later this year in Lionsgate long-delayed creature-feature Piranha 3-D. Brook’s additional horror creds include Survival Island, Removal, House of 9, and Ripper.
“Twilight” author Stephenie Meyers announced today on her website that she is not ready to stop earning ridiculous mountains of cash from her vampire empire. On June 5, Meyer’s publishing house Little Brown Books for Young Readers will release “The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner: An Eclipse Novella.”
The 192-page novella centers on the life of newborn vampire Bree Tanner, a character who only appears briefly in the “Eclipse” novel as part of Bella Swan hater Victoria’s army. Meyer’s insists that she thought of the Bree spinoff long before “Twilight” was adapted to the big screen.
She lies through her teeth says:
I never intended to publish this story as a stand-alone book. I began this story a long time ago—before ‘Twilight’ was even released. Back then I was just editing ‘Eclipse,’ and in the thick of my vampire world. I was thinking a lot about the newborns, imagining their side of the story, and one thing led to another. I started writing from Bree’s perspective about those final days, and what it was like to be a newborn.
Hmm. Looks like those crafty Twilight Saga movie producers have found a new way to keep the tween-loved vampire-soap going. Along with splitting Breaking Dawn into two movies, it’s pretty clear we’ll be seeing a Bree Tanner flick in the near future.
I’m gonna say it right now: “novella” will be the new “prequel” in Hollywood. What better way to keep a franchise going?
Studios won’t have to wait as long for an author to turn something in. New characters are pushed to the forefront, allowing for fresh faces to emerge and providing producers an opportunity to save money by not having to bring back all of the original franchise’s cast members. It’s genius.
“The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner: An Eclipse Novella” will be available for purchase on June 5 at 12:01 a.m.
A dollar from all U.S. sales will be donated to the American Red Cross International Response Fund to provide aid to Haiti and Chile. But, if you hate brown people, you can read it for free on BreeTanner.com from June 7-to-July 5.
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse arrives in movie theaters on June 30.
After her horror film The Box was crushed at the box office, actress Cameron Diaz has been forced to consider a supplemental career in the sexy car wash industry. OK … that’s not true. This was just a half-assed excuse to post pics of the leggy starlet in daisy duke shorts. The shots are from her upcoming comedy Bad Teacher.
The Box is now available on DVD and Blu-ray disc. Diaz plays a married woman who is given a mysterious box which holds the ability to provide good fortune for her family at the cost of a stranger’s life.
Diaz’s other horror titles include The Other Sister and My Best Friends Wedding.
Bloggers and people with vaginas never have anything nice to say about “Hills” star Heidi Montag. But, here at Clatto, we are extremely supportive of women who set out to improve themselves through plastic surgery and starvation.
That is why I am thrilled to write about Montag’s plans to produce what could be the greatest horror-comedy of all time, a lifeguard vs. shark 3-D spectacular based on her very own script.
Montag describes the project to People magazine:
I am making the first 3-D beach comedy about a shark that attacks a small beach town and I save the day with my 3-D boobs. I’ve even written a role for Dolly Parton to play the town mayor!
Finally, someone who knows how to utilize 3-D technology to produce the kind of stuff we want to see!
Oh, no! There goes Tokyo.
Legendary Pictures and Warner Bros. announced today that they have acquired the rights to produce a new Godzilla movie from Toho Co (they will handle distribution in Japan). The film is slated for release in 2012 and will most likely arrive in 3-D.
Legendary’s chairman and CEO Thomas Tull tells the Hollywood Reporter:
Godzilla is one of the world’s most powerful pop culture icons, and we at Legendary are thrilled to be able to create a modern epic based on this long-loved Toho franchise.
Our plans are to produce the Godzilla that we, as fans, would want to see. We intend to do justice to those essential elements that have allowed this character to remain as pop culturally relevant for as long as it has.
Says Warner Bros. president Jeff Robinov adds:
Godzilla is emblematic of the kind of branded, event films for which Warner Bros. and our partners at Legendary are best known.
Legendary & Warner Bros. have co-produced Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, and this week’s epic fantasy-adventure Clash of the Titans.
Godzilla made his debut in the 1954 Japanese film Gojira. Master of disaster Roland Emmerich (2012, Independence Day) took a massive shit all over the iconic beast in his 1998 reboot Godzilla. The film still managed to earned over $376 million worldwide, a testament to Godzilla’s ongoing popularity.
Update: Gareth Edwards (Monsters) is attached to direct the reboot.
If there is such a thing as heaven on earth, it must be Dubai. Innovative architecture, jet-setting lifestyle, beautiful and obedient women, and zero tolerance towards the poor and working class make it a Disneyland for adults. What could possibly make the city better?
A big fat Whopper with cheese served at 4 a.m. is a good start.
Dubai-based ad agency Tonic was commissioned by Burger King to cook up some wicked advertising to promote the chain’s newly launched late hours. The company has delivered a series of jaw-dropping ads for print and billboards featuring some of horror’s most popular night prowlers.
The drive-thru is always a nightmare.
French photographer Ben Dauchez shot the ads in Dubai and South Africa. The campaign features Jason (Friday the 13th), Freddy Krueger (A Nightmare on Elm Street), Chucky (Child’s Play) and Ghostface (Scream).
Everyone likes a little late night chuck!
I’m hoping a fifth ad featuring Leatherface (Texas Chainsaw Massacre) working the grills will soon pop up. If they do TV ads, Jigsaw (Saw) would do great as the drive-thru attendant.
Hello, Sidney. Do you like fries with your order?
Director Christopher Nolan’s upcoming mind-bender Inception will undoubtedly leave moviegoers with a lot of questions—the most pressing of all (for those of us with penises) being “who was that hot blonde?”
Her name is Telulah Riley and, if you have a girlfriend, you’ve already seen her in Pride & Prejudice opposite Keira Knightley.
The 24-year-old British starlet is still working on making a name for herself in Hollywood. Thankfully, the folks at Esquire U.K. have convinced Riley to pursue the softcore porn artistic route in their current March issue:
Actress Monica Keena (Freddy Vs. Jason) doesn’t just fight her demons … she kisses them. The 30-year-old star of director Adam Gierasch’s Night of the Demons remake brags to Maxim that she is a better at kissing girls than American Pie starlet Shannon Elizabeth (Thirteen Ghosts).
She describes her girl/girl kiss as follows:
I was nervous because I’d never kissed a girl at all. But the girl actually had to kiss Shannon Elizabeth later, and she said I was a much better kisser. I was like, ‘Yes!’
Keena doesn’t say which girl she makes out with (Update: it’s Bobbi Sue Luther). But, considering her costars include Diora Baird (30 Days of Night: Dark Days), Bobbi Sue Luther (Laid to Rest), Tiffany Shepis (Stripped), and Holly Ladnier (Jonah Hex), my penis is confident that the scene will be worth the price of admission.
Keena also tells Maxim that she enjoyed kicking demon ass in the film:
The Night of the Demons script said, ‘Then she goes into Rambo mode.’ So I got to wrap the brass knuckles around my hands and load my shotgun with old rusty nails. It was definitely the first time I ever cocked a shotgun and said, ‘Come and get me, motherfuckers!
Night of the Demons is a remake of the 1988 cult classic starring beloved scream-queen Linnea Quigley (she has a cameo in the new film). The film is Gierasch’s followup to his chilling 2008 debut Autopsy.
Night of the Demons arrives in theaters on Sept. 23.
Writer/director Kevin Smith tweeted this week that he has gotten the green-light to produce Red State, his Fred “God Hates Fags” Phelps-inspired horror project.
Smith has been trying to get the film going since 2007, at one point suggesting to fans that they help provide the funding (an idea funnier than anything in Smith’s latest bomb Cop Out).
Smith tweeted on Tuesday:
I talk about lots of stuff I wanna do that either happens years later or never happens at all. Happy to report RED STATE is not the latter.
First draft was dated 9/5/07. Looks like we start shooting this July. Took nearly three years, but we’re finally gonna roll on RED.
The only money it’ll require from [fans] will be at the box office.
Smith tackled religion in his 1999 comedy Dogma, starring Ben Affleck and Matt Damon as fallen angels trying to find their way back to heaven and pop singer Alanis Morissette as God. The film was protested by Mallrats haters Catholic groups during its opening weekend.
Paramount Pictures has finally locked down a director for their upcoming sequel to last year’s surprise runaway hit Paranormal Activity. Producer Oren Peli announced this morning that art-house director Kip Williams (Door in the Floor) has inherited the director’s chair for Paranormal Activity 2.
Peli says:
I have some awesome news for the fans of ‘Paranormal Activity’. Director Kip Williams will join us for the next chapter of the story. We are thrilled to have Kip working with us. He is the guy we want at the helm, because he knows exactly what we want to deliver to the fans… and I can’t wait to be a part of what he’s putting together. I don’t want to spoil the story but I promise it’ll surprise you. Stay tuned.
I don’t think most horror fans would call this news awesome. Especially when the names Brian De Palma (Black Dahlia, Body Double) and Greg McLean (Wolf Creek, Rogue) had been tossed around as possible directors.
Saw 6 director Kevin Greutert had been attached to the sequel, but was forced to remove himself over contractual obligations with Lionsgate. He is currently shooting the studio’s upcoming Saw 7, which will go head-to-severed-head with Paranormal Activity 2 at the box office this Halloween.
Not much has been revealed as far as Paranormal Activity 2’s plot, but it is known that original star Micah Sloat will return.