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Happy New Year!
It’s time to look back on the movies that scared us stiff in unexpected ways. There was shark bait, jail bait, porno babes, rape trees, amputees, siblings, and psycho bitches.
The year also delivered nudity from young sex symbol Sydney Sweeney, who continued to flaunt her good genes despite hitting super stardom; seasoned stunner Diane Kruger, baring her bald beaver for body-horror master Cronenberg; nerdy girl Alison Brie, showing off her secret rack; and new real-life MILF Jennifer Lawrence proving she’s one hot mama.
Comment, complain, and contribute below. Don’t forget to check out our lists for 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2023, and 2024.
10. INTO THE DEEP
Just when you thought it was safe to watch Richard Dreyfus in a shark movie, he signs up for this stinker—his first shark movie since Jaws. So what lured him to the project? We’re thinking bikini babes Scout Taylor-Compton and Colombian stunner Lorena Sarria… but it was probably just buckets of cash.
Anyway, this movie sucks, and it’s obvious the moment you hit play. It gets worse as it goes on, but clicking it off proves difficult because Compton and Sarria look so damn good in their two-pieces.
Compton has thrilled since Rob Zombie’s Halloween and is really owning her cougar-dom—with curvier hips and a plump rump to boot. Her bikini bottom is cheeky and sexy, but it’s tele-novela star Sarria who’s on thong duty (Dios mio!).
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09. M3GAN 2.0
Atomic Monster and Blumhouse continued to put the AI in j-AI-l bait with the release of M3GAN 2.0, an ambitious but failed sequel to its blockbuster thriller about a murderous, AI-powered companion doll for misfit kids.
Taking a page from Terminator 2: Judgement Day, the sequel pits a reprogrammed M3GAN against a more advanced, military-grade AI robot, played by “Ahsoka” babe Ivanna Sakhno (AI cat-fight… meow!).
Her makeover also helps with getting over any Epstein-comparable guilt trips. She’s taller now and more sophisticated… at least 17, and as a wise man named Winger once sang, “She’s old enough for me.”
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08. PROMPT
Porn star Lilly Bell, a nominee for Best Orgy Scene at the 2026 AVN Awards, headlines Full Moon Features’ Prompt, an erotic thriller about a hot chick (Bell) who uses AI to explore her sexual fantasies, becoming obsessed with the technology.
Bell, who is also nominated for Best Leading Actress in the porn horror drama The Secrets We Share, tells AVN:
I really got into the role of Taylor—she’s a businesswoman with a high sex drive, who knows how to take charge of her high-level clients and in the bedroom. The film also has an interesting back and forth between ‘is it real or fantasy’ elements. I shone and showed off my acting skills, as well as my sexual prowess. I hope this leads to even more mainstream leading roles.
Casting a porn star is a bit of a cheat, but we’ll allow it if it means jerking off to Bell without a BBC around to make us feel sad.
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07. DANGEROUS ANIMALS
Dangerous Animals stars “Yellowstone” stunner Hassie Harrison as a hot surfer chick abducted by a serial killer who likes to feed his victims to sharks in the open sea. Harrison looks tasty in her cut offs and clingy top, but Aussie co-star Ella Newton, a twenty-something newcomer, clad in a cute, modest bikini, does an even better job of catching our attention. She’s super pretty and too sweet to suffer such an awful demise. Here’s hoping a nurse shark patched her up.
The movie is awesome with a unique hook, and Jai Courtney has created a memorable and terrifying villain in Bruce Tucker—on par with John Jarratt’s Mick Taylor (Wolf Creek). It’s hard to say which killer is having more fun. Would have loved to see Tucker’s victim tapes—someone must have been wearing a thong bikini!
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06. CHRISTMAS RAPE TREE
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree, Don’t rape me with your branches.
A serial rapist meets his demise in the woods, gunned down by a victim’s father. His blood splatters across a fir tree that is chopped down a year later and sold to an unsuspecting couple on Christmas. Possessed by the sexual predator’s evil spirit, the tree goes on a rape and murder spree.
Now, the cast of this gem aren’t exactly swimwear models, but watching them get tied up with Christmas lights, violated with ornaments, and penetrated by branches is the kind of hot dark web shit you won’t see on the Hallmark channel.
It’s a Wonderful Life, Miracle on 34th Street, Christmas Rape Tree… these are the holiday classics we’ll always cherish.
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05. THE SHROUDS
You know a bitch is hot when she’s missing a titty and her left arm and you still want to smash! That’s Diane Kruger (“The Bridge”) in David Cronenberg’s The Shrouds, a sad sci-fi tale about a grieving widower who has created an app-accessible graveyard to watch loved ones’ bodies decompose.
Kruger, pushing 50, goes totally nude in three scenes, playing a hot cancer victim. We see her body ravished by the disease over time. Soon, she’s got stitches all over her body like zippers on a motorcycle jacket—but remains bang-able. No wonder this guy wants to keep an eye on her after death. We wouldn’t trust the groundskeeper either!
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04. TOGETHER
“Community” and “Mad Men” star Alison Brie plays a hot teacher who moves to the countryside with her “boy-partner” Dave Franco, a struggling thirty-something musician, inexplicably pushing rope in the bedroom.
They’re at a crossroads in their relationship—unsure if they truly love one another or have become complacent—when accidental exposure to a supernatural force in the woods brings them closer together…literally.
First, it’s during a hot romp in a school bathroom, where Franco’s revitalized cock gets stuck inside Brie’s tight cooter. Things get crazier when their bodies begin to merge, leading to her glorious nude boobs and tush scene. Brie is an underrated nude babe, usually cast as a funny, awkward, smarty-pants. But the chick is a total smoke show.
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03. BONE LAKE
Two couples decide to share a luxurious Airbnb lakehouse after an apparent mix-up has them booked for the same weekend. Maddie Hasson and Marco Pigossi are attempting to rekindle their romance, while Andra Nechita and Alex Roe are out to sabotage them because they’re fucking crazy.
Hasson’s character is a bit frigid so she’s got the short, butchy haircut and modest outfits. She does masturbate in the tub when she thinks her husband is away, and looks hot doing so (method acting?). Thong duty falls on Romanian stunner Nechita.
But it’s Brazilian goddess Eliane Reis who is the queen of boner lake. Huge boobs and a big bubble, she opens the film completely nude and running! She’s being hunted, but she’s the one who has captured our hearts and hard-ons during those first few minutes.
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02. THE HOUSEMAID
The Housemaid is a sexy thriller starring Sydney Sweeney (Immaculate) as a hot live-in housekeeper for newly minted milf Amanda Seyfried (Jennifer’s Body) and her wealthy family. The housemaid is also a homeless ex-con who served 10 years in prison for murder. But Seyfried knows that, and hopes to use her to escape her abusive husband.
Director Paul Feig (A Simple Favor), who fucked up the Ghostbusters franchise in 2016, is back at his best with this twisty, soapy, and stylish adaptation of Freida McFadden’s page-turner. Feig’s strength is that he uses everything he can to work with… in this case, Sweeney’s unbelievably gorgeous boobs.
Sweeney’s chest is on display the entire movie. No matter what she wears, those puppies are ready for their close-up (every movie wardrobe department should learn from this). They finally come into view during a topless sex scene with Seyfried’s husband. At this point, if you can keep your dick in your pants in the theater, you’re a stronger man than most.
Regrettably, there is no topless lesbian scene between Sweeney and Seyfried—an unforgivable choice and missed opportunity. Seyfried, who is still insanely hot, does have a scene where she jumps around in her panties.
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01. DIE MY LOVE
Jennifer Lawrence plays a new milf suffering from postpartum depression in writer/director Lynne Ramsay’s (You Were Never Really Here) horror-comedy Die, My Love, an adaptation of Argentine writer Ariana Harwicz 2017 novel “Matate, Amor,”
Lawrence performs in six nude scenes, including two full-frontal! The Oscar-winning stunner has never been shy about showing off her curves, going nude in Red Sparrow, No Hard Feelings, and Mother, and has only gotten more bold as she embraces MILFdom. “I’m not sensitive about nudity,” she told the press recently while promoting Die My Love.
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