2017
01.22

Anne Hathaway Is a ‘Colossal’ Alcoholic!

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Acclaimed Timecrimes director Nacho Vigalondo’s new film, Colossal, is set to release April 7 through Neon. The monster movie stars Anne Hathaway as an alcoholic with great boobs whose chaotic life mirrors the destructive force of a Kaiju beast wreaking havoc in South Korea.

If this is a metaphor for detriment brought on by drinking wonderful, tasty, and empowering alcohol, we already hate it and call for an immediate boycott! If this is about Hathaway’s boobs and monsters, we’re totally in.

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2017
01.16

Elizabeth Whitson Is Getting Gotten in ‘Get the Girl’

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Even if you’ve never heard of Elizabeth Whitson, you’d know she’s hot because she played the popular girl on MTV’s “Awkward” and got her start on an episode of “Pretty Little Liars.” Now she’s bringing her hotness to the big screen in Get the Girl, an abduction thriller from Contracted writer/director Eric England.

Get the Girl centers on a staged abduction set up by a wealthy young man to play hero to the woman he loves. Things go terribly wrong when one of the hired kidnappers is accidentally killed and alters the con in a very real way. Whitson, of course, is the girl getting gotten.

Get the Girl arrives in selected theaters Jan. 27.

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2017
01.16

‘Dead Story’ Ghost Can Haunt Us Anytime!

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STIF Entertainmenthas set a Jan. 20 VOD release date for Dead Story, a supernatural thriller starring Kelsey Deanne (Shark Lake) as a young bride whose terrifying visions are either in her head or the new home she and her husband have moved into is haunted.

Dead Story’s plot seems familiar and production value is modest, but the dead girl looks really hot on the poster! Sure, her flesh is rotting and she probably smells pretty funky, but maybe she’s got a great personality. Okay, judging by the trailer, she’s kind of a grump.

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2017
01.14

Just When You Thought Vegetarians Couldn’t Be More Annoying: ‘Raw’

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A red band trailer has gone online for the French cannibal thriller Raw. Written and directed by Julia Ducournau, the film stars Garance Marillier as a vegetarian who develops a taste for human flesh when she’s viciously hazed at her veterinary school.

The trailer promises a stylish and disturbing film – even kinda sexy. It reportedly caused a couple of people to faint during its world premiere at TIFF. We’ll find out exactly what Ducournau cooked up when Focus World releases Raw on March 10.

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2017
01.12

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Aussie actress Jessica De Gouw stars in The Rezort, a curious re-imagining of Jurassic Park with zombies in place of dinosaurs. Gouw plays Melanie, a zombie apocalypse survivor on safari at a resort where guests can hunt and slaughter the undead in a controlled environment.

Melanie is at the resort to work out her rage. Having lost her family during the zombie uprising, she remains deeply traumatized despite humanity’s eventual victory over the outbreak. Unfortunately, death finds a way and all hell breaks loose again. Content Media releases the film on all digital platforms Jan. 17.

De Gouw is best known for her portrayal of sexy vigilante Helena Bertinelli (aka: Huntress) on The CW’s “Arrow,” Horror fans know her, however, from her role as Dracula’s love interest Mina Murray on NBC’s short-lived series “Dracula.”

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2017
01.09

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Showtime has set a May 21 premiere date for David Lynch’s much anticipated “Twin Peaks” revival. The show debuts with a two-hour episode and will run for 18 mind-bending hours on Sundays until its closed-ended finale.

The official synopsis reads:

Widely considered one of the most groundbreaking and influential broadcast series of all time, TWIN PEAKS followed the inhabitants of a quaint northwestern town who were stunned after their homecoming queen Laura Palmer was shockingly murdered.

The town’s sheriff welcomed the help of FBI agent Dale Cooper, who came to town to investigate the case. As Cooper conducted his search for Laura’s killer, the town’s secrets were gradually exposed.

The mystery that ensued set off an eerie chain of events that plunged the inhabitants of Twin Peaks into a darker examination of their very existence. Twenty-five years later, the story continues…

The “Twin Peaks” revival series features an all-star cast that includes Naomi Watts, Amanda Seyfried, Monica Bellucci, Jessica Szohr, Laura Dern, Sara Paxton, Jeremy Davies, Michael Cera, and series originals Sheryl Lee, Sherilyn Fenn, Mädchen Amick, Ray Wise, David Duchovny, and, of course, Kyle MacLachlan as FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper.

2017
01.09

Stripping Mermaid Sisters Have Us on the Hook for ‘The Lure’

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Remember the romantic comedy Splash? Tom Hanks falls in love with mermaid Daryl Hannah and they live happily ever after under the sea? It’s a delightful movie, but let’s be honest – it needed a couple of mermaid strippers hungry for human flesh.

Polish filmmaker Agnieszka Smoczynska improves on Ron Howard’s classic with the Feb. 1 VOD release of The Lure. Marta Mazurek and Michalina Olszanska play the mermaid sisters, one looking to fall in love and the other in search of dinner.

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2017
01.08

Drew Barrymore Whets Our Appetite for ‘The Santa Clarita Diet’

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Netflix continues to bring home our missing movie crushes with its upcoming new series original “The Santa Clarita Diet,” starring 90s sweetheart and sometime scream queen Drew Barrymore. Set to premiere Feb. 3, the horror-comedy marks Barrymore’s return to the genre since 1996’s Scream.

Barrymore stars in the new Netflix series with Timothy Olyphant (”Justified”) as unhappily married realtors in the Los Angeles suburb of Santa Clarita whose lives take a devastating and life-altering turn when she’s turned into a functioning zombie with a voracious appetite for living flesh.

Barrymore’s horror creds are from early in her career: Altered States, Firestarter, Cat’s Eye, Poison Ivy, Waxwork II: Lost In Time. But, her role as Casey Becker in Wes Craven’s Scream remains one of horror’s most brutal and memorable scenes. She also appeared in and produced the 2001 cult fav Donnie Darko.

Like Winona Ryder’s triumphant return in Netflix’s enjoyably brilliant “Stranger Things,” we’re looking forward to “Santa Clarita Diet” and Barrymore’s return to horror. We also really like Santa Clarita. There’s a really great Walmart there.

2017
01.08

Hand Job: Yvonne Strahovski Co-stars in ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’

Yvonne Strahovski

Hulu is set to premiere its adaptation of Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale on April 26. The series stars the one unattractive girl from “Mad Men” as an enslaved woman valued for her fertility in a dystopian, male-dominated society in which they are used in an effort to repopulate the ending world.

If sexual servitude wasn’t bad enough, these enslaved fertile Handmaids must eat a bag of shit sandwiches daily from their male owners, the owner’s wives, and other Handmaids.

“Dexter” and “Chuck” stunner Yvonne Strahovski (pictured above) co-stars as Serena Joy, wife to the man who owns the unattractive girl from “Mad Men’s” character. Regrettably, she’s nowhere to be seen in the first teaser released for the series.

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2017
01.07

We’re So Ready to Spend a Week with Samara in ‘Rings’

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Paramount Pictures has released a new and much better trailer for its second full-length sequel to its horrifying 2002 blockbuster The Ring. The film is titled Rings and is directed by Spanish filmmaker F. Javier Gutierrez (Before the Fall).

Rings shares the title of the 2005 Jonathan Liebesman (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) short film bridging The Ring and The Ring 2, both starring Naomi Watts. In the short, cults called Rings have emerged and challenge each other to watching the cursed videotape.

Gutierrez’s Rings stars Italian actress Matilda Lutz as a woman desperately trying to save her boyfriend after he gets caught up in “a dark subculture surrounding a mysterious videotape said to kill the watcher seven days after he has viewed it.”

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