2017
12.16

Who’s Ready to Go ‘Inside’ Rachel Nichols?

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Vertical Entertainment has set a Jan. 12 release date for its much maligned remake of Alexandre Bustillo and Julien Maury’s stupid and overrated French slasher Inside. The much needed redo is helmed by Spanish director Miguel Ángel Vivas (Extinction) and penned by Jaume Balagueró and Manu Diez (Rec).

Inside stars Rachel Nichols (P2) as a young and pregnant widow tormented on Christmas by a mysterious woman determined to cut out her unborn child and take it as her own. Laura Harring, Naomi Watt’s gorgeous lesbian lover in David Lynch’s Mulholland Drive, plays the hot murderous MILF.

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2017
12.12

Spielberg Makes a Fun Movie Again w/ ‘Ready Player One’

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Warner Bros. has released a new trailer for Steven Spielberg’s Ready Player One, an adaptation of the bestselling novel by Ernest Cline. Set in 2045, the world’s population has taken refuge at OASIS, a virtual universe with real rewards created by an eccentric genius whose death triggers a global competition to find a digital Easter egg granting control of OASIS to its winner.

Tye Sheridan (Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse) plays hero Wade Watts, a young and impoverished 80s aficionado looking to win the game to keep its world accessible to everyone and away from greedy big business.

Movie and gaming icons populate OASIS and are fun to spot in the trailer. This time out we saw Lara Croft, Chucky, King Kong, Iron Giant, the Back to the Future Delorean, A-Team van, Speed Racer’s Mach 5, Batmobile, and the Joust ostrich! Ready Player One arrives in theaters March 30, 2018.

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2017
12.11

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Universal Pictures has released a first trailer for Jurassic World 2: Fallen Kingdom and it’s extremely disappointing … to see Bryce Dallas Howard not wearing her much debated heels. The filmmakers have apparently succumbed to the vicious shaming her character received over her choice of footwear.

We thought the days of shaming women for what they wear were over, but here we are watching Howard fleeing from dinosaurs in drab shoes. It’s a sad day… what’s that? How’s the actual movie look? It looks awesome, it’s freaking dinosaurs!

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2017
12.10

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Millennium Media has released a trailer for Day of the Dead: Bloodline, a re-imagining of George Romero’s 1985 classic Day of the Dead. Helmed by Spanish director Hèctor Hernández Vicens, the film stars Sophie Skelton as a former med school student stalked by zombie hybrid she once knew.

Skelton, best known for her role as Brianna Randall Fraser on Starz’s popular historical time travel series “Outlander,” makes her horror film debut with Day of the Dead: Bloodline, arriving in selected theaters and VOD Jan.5, 2018.

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2017
12.05

Stunner Gabrielle Haugh Makes Time w/ ‘The Midnight Man’

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A trailer has gone online for The Midnight Man, a supernatural thriller helmed by Travis Z. (Cabin Fever) and starring fashion model-turned-actress Gabrielle Haugh (Jeepers Creepers 3), Lin Shaye (Insidious), and Robert Englund (Nightmare on Elm Street).

Haugh plays a hot granddaughter who conjures up an evil entity while playing a mysterious game she finds in her ailing grandmother’s (Shaye) attic with her doomed friends. The family doctor (Englund) knows the game’s history and warns her of the Midnight Man’s arrival.

Haugh, a former Forever 21 model, cut her acting teeth in Lifetime’s lesbian vampire dramedy “Mother, May I Sleep with Danger.” Her big screen debut came late this year with the eagerly anticipated, but extremely limited and much maligned, theatrical release of Jeepers Creepers 3.

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2017
12.02

Maggie Grace Will ‘Fear the Walking Dead’

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“LOST” alumna Maggie Grace is set to join season four of AMC’s “Fear the Walking Dead,” the spinoff series to its ratings monster “The Walking Dead.” No word on what role Grace will be playing, but she joins Garret Dillahunt (”Mindy Project”), Jenna Elfman (”Dharma & Greg”), and TWD’s Lennie James (Morgan) as the revamped show’s new blood.

The new season will be set in Texas and sees the return of Kim Dickens (Madison), Frank Dillane (Nick), Alycia Debnam-Carey (Alicia), Colman Domingo (Victor), and Danay Garcia (Luciana). However, with the exception of Dickens, the fate of their characters after last season’s finale remains uncertain and a new timeline to bring Morgan into the picture is all but guaranteed.

Grace is best known for her portrayal of spoiled rich girl Shannon Rutherford on ABC’s Emmy-winning drama “LOST.” She made her major horror film debut in the 2005 remake of John Carpenter’s The Fog and went on to co-star in The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn and producer Luc Besson’s Lockout. She also had a memorable role as butt-baring groupie and rock star muse Faith on Showtime’s “Californication.”

2017
11.25

Clatto Reviews: ‘Amityville: The Awakening’

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You gotta hand it to the realtors in the suburbs of Amityville, New York — they sure know how to close a murder house! They’ve been doing it since 1975 when the Lutz family purchased the Dutch Colonial with the creepy attic windows just a year after its previous residents were massacred.

Ronald DeFeo Jr. murdered his parents and siblings for reasons not fully known, but ranging from bad drug trip to insurance fraud to plain old daddy issues. Possible demonic possession soon captured the imagination when the Lutz family ditched the home 28 days after moving in, citing paranormal occurrences.

Author Jay Anson based his fictional novel, “The Amityville Horror,” on accounts from the Lutz family, suggesting a malevolent force dwelled inside the house and was responsible for possessing its most vulnerable residents. The book was a bestseller and triggered a series of films, including the 1979 original and this year’s “Amityville: The Awakening.”

“The Awakening” is a reboot of sorts meant to introduce the franchise to an audience too young to know the original and possibly even its 2005 remake, starring a pre-Deadpool Ryan Reynolds, while entertaining longtime fans with a few callback moments and a controlled meta approach.

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The film opens with a new family moving into the Amityville house: single mom Joan (Jennifer Jason Leigh), hot and brooding teen daughter Belle (Bella Thorne), little sister Juliet (Mckenna Grace), and comatose son James (Cameron Monaghan). There’s also an Aunt Candice (Jennifer Morrison) who lives nearby and is around to help however she can.

Joan has moved her family to Amityville to be close to James’ neurologist, but she has an ulterior motive: to use the house’s evil energy to awaken her son, who was brain damaged after being tossed off a balcony for confronting the guy who posted naughty pics of his sister online. The plan is a success and soon James is up and about killing people.

Fortunately, Belle’s new schoolmates make her aware of the house’s uncanny history of possessing people and warn her that her brother is especially vulnerable given his condition. As her brother grows stronger, he begs her to kill him. She’s eventually swayed, but not until the body count starts to add up quick.

The Awakening is definitely a tween fright flick. It’s well produced with soft scares that won’t keep you up at night. Don’t expect much from its seasoned players. Leigh brings chops to the table, but her role is regulated to Charlie Brown parents. Likewise, Morrison’s part is more of a cameo.

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Belle’s friends Terrence (Thomas Mann) and Marissa (Taylor Spreitler) usher in the meta moments in the film and they are a hoot – i.e. Terrence’s excitement over watching an Amityville Horror movie in the actual Amityville house (the group chooses the original over the remake because remakes suck!). Sadly, the film’s meta moments are too far and in between to reach Jamie Kennedy’s level of hilarity and wit in Scream. It’s a device inexplicably abandoned midway.

The weight of the film is on Thorne’s shoulders to carry. There’s no real depth to her character – everything you need to know is on the surface and as easy to spot as her ass cheeks in tiny booty shorts (thank you, wardrobe!), but her performance feels natural enough to make her a worthy final girl.

The Awakening is written and directed by Franck Khalfoun, the man behind the insanely suspenseful cat-and-mouse thriller P2 and the awesome 2012 remake of Maniac. This film is nowhere near that level of fright, but it benefits from Khalfoun’s pacing, making it one of the better entries in the Amityville franchise.

Amityville: The Awakening is available on DVD and Blu-ray now.

2017
11.25

Danielle Harris Is ‘Inoperable’

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A trailer has gone online for Inoperable, a time-loop thriller set in a hospital during a destructive hurricane. Scream-queen Danielle Harris stars in the film as a hot patient who keep waking up in an evacuted hospital and must figure out a way out before time runs out.

The film is directed by Christopher Lawrence Chapman (The Accident) from a script by Jeff Miller (ClownTown) and co-stars Katie Keene (Clowntown), Cher Hubsher (Amityville Terror), and Isabella Sofia Menna (Clowntown). It will have a limited theatrical run Dec. 1.

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2017
11.25

Finally… A Witch Movie Your Penis Can Enjoy: ‘Coven’

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Hot, young witches in lingerie is all we need to know to pique our interest in Coven, a Wiccan based thriller conjured up by our cock and balls… oh, wait. That’s not true. It just feels like that. The film is directed by Maragaret Malandruccolo and written by Lizze Gordon. We don’t know who they are, but they’re geniuses!

Coven tells the tale of four undergrad witches in search of a new member to take the place of the one they murdered. Only then will they be able to unleash the powers of an ancient witch.

Gordon not only penned the script, she co-stars in the film alongside stunners Terri Ivens (Piranhaconda), Jocelyn Saenz (Amityville Terror), Sofya Skya (My Stepdaughter), Miranda O’Hare (”Age of the Living Dead”), Jessica Louise Long (Death Pool), and Margot Major (Screwed).

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2017
11.20

Is Jenna Elfman Abraham’s Wife on ‘Fear the Walking Dead’ Crossover?

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Jenna Elfman (”Dharma & Greg”) is set to join the fourth season of AMC’s “Fear the Walking Dead” as a series regular. Character details have not been revealed, but with the show most likely moving its location to Texas we speculate Elfman’s role could be that of “The Walking Dead’s” Abraham Ford’s wife!

A crossover event between the two series was announced at this year’s New York Comic Con and Abraham’s Texas-rooted backstory – and overall popularity – makes him a prime candidate. Abraham’s wife abandoned him with their two kids during the apocalypse after growing scared of what he’d become.

That choice would lead to their rightful demise… dumb-asses.

Now, we know Elfman’s casting is as a season four regular and actor Michael Cudlitz would reprise his role as Abraham for a short stint so there’s a chance we’re just talking out our asses, but maybe we see them together for awhile and then stick with her as she attempts to survive, leading to that rightful demise.

We’re probably wrong, but… made you look :)