Actress Jessica Alba told MTV News that she will be playing twins in director Robert Rodriguez’s revenge-actioner Machete.

She says:

I play identical twins. One’s bad and one’s good. There’s a ton of action in it. My character does a bit. I got to do some action finally again. This movie is Robert Rodriguez, old school at its best.

Check out the interview:

In addition to kicking ass, MTV reports that Alba will also flick her bean during an on-screen bathtub masturbation scene (I’m guessing that’s the bad twin) that could possibly give her ass-spanked turn in The Killer Inside Me a run for its stroke-value.

(UPDATE: I caught Machete at the theater and Alba looks amazing, but sadly does not play twins and does not masturbate. i have no idea why she or MTV said otherwise, but they owe my penis an apology. Great flick though!)

Machete’s amazing cast includes Danny Trejo as the titular antihero, Robert De Niro, Michelle Rodriguez, Rose McGowen, Cheech Marin, Steven Seagal, Don Johnson, and a topless Lindsay Lohan.