2010
08.29

Big Foot Pervs on Hot Topless Chick in ‘Sasquatch Assault’

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Internationally unknown director Colin Theys would have you believe that his film Sasquatch Assault is a fresh and ambitious take on Bigfoot lore, but the ridiculously low-budget project seems to really be another example of the lengths guys will go to just to see some live titties—and for that we applaud Mr. Theys.

The following clip finds Sasquatch sniffing panties and peeping in on an amply bosomed chick as she showers:

Admittingly, this scene is sheer genius. It’s just a shame the Sasquatch looks like a guy in a used Harry & the Hendersons costume. Also, why are fat guys in movies so hyper?

Sasquatch Assault stars Cristina Santiago, Andrea Saenz, Sarah Ahearn, Kevin Shea, Greg Nutcher, Jason Criscoulo, Alex Exum, and Cuyle Carvin.

The film is available now on VOD and arrives on DVD on Oct. 19.

2010
08.29

‘Pretty Little Liar’ Lucy Hale Adds Stroke-Value to ‘Scream 4’

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“Pretty Little Liar” Lucy Hale is the latest addition to Wes Craven’s sexy Scream 4 cast that includes Emma Roberts, Hayden Panettiere ,”Mad Men’s” Alison Brie, Shenae Grimes, Marielle Jaffe, Grindhouse’s Marley Shelton, and cameos by Anna Paquin and Kristen Bell.

No word yet on Hale’s character, but my sharp movie savant senses tell me she’ll most likely play a cute schoolgirl, a role she’s perfected on ABC Family’s “Pretty Little Liars” and the CW’s “Privileged.” The 21-year-old stunner other creds include a NBC’s short-lived “Bionic Woman” reboot as Jaime Summer’s young sister, and had a part in the horror film Fear Island.

Written by franchise creator Kevin Williamson, Scream 4 is the start of a new trilogy that aims to frighten audiences while poking fun at modern day horror cliches. Old-schoolers Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox, and David Araquette return to the mix to reprise their respective roles as Sidney Prescott, Gale Weathers-Riley, and Sheriff Dewey Riley.

Scream 4 is currently shooting in Ann Arbor, Michigan. The film is slated for release on April 15, 2011.

2010
08.29

Vampire_Diaries_Poster2

If your tween daughters and gay sons have been holed up in their rooms lately, it could be that they’re busy diddling their young blossoming bodies to the new sexed-up “Vampire Diaries” promo posters released by the CW this week.

Oh sure, you’d like to think that your kids are just upstairs listening to Morrisey and cutting themselves like you did when you were their age, but the times—and TV—have changed. Don’t believe me? Take a look at what passes for vampire drama these days:

Not exactly “Dark Shadows” is it?

“The Vampire Diaries” is writer-producer Kevin Williamson’s (Scream, “Dawson’s Creek”) adaptation of L.J. Smith’s popular novel series of the same name for the CW television network. The show follows high-schooler Elena Gilbert (Nina Dobrev) as she’s courted by two vampire brothers (Ian Somerhalder, some other guy).

Vampire_Diaries_Poster

The show won a People’s Choice award for Favorite New TV Drama in January and recently won big at the Teen Choice Awards.

“The Vampire Diaries” returns to the CW for its second season on Sept. 9.