Nude photos of Scarlett Johansson were leaked online yesterday. I did not post about it because I was certain the rapture was about to occur. As it turns out, the shots aren’t a gift from baby Jesus, but the noble work of a now wanted hacker who infiltrated Johansson’s cell phone.

Johansson has hired a team of lawyers and Seal Team 6 to take down the perp and anyone who posts the pics on their site. I value my life and assets (Foreman Grill, PS3, and a couch) too much to put the images up on this site, but you can peep them by visiting these brave degenerates.

Johansson is currently at work on geek-mesiah Joss Whedon’s The Avengers. The 26-year-old stunner is also set to play a horny alien in director Jonathan Glazer’s adaptation of author Michel Faber’s novel Under the Skin.