Heather Locklear has joined the cast of Dimension Films’ Scary Movie 5. If you’re too young to know who that is, ask your dad’s penis. It will regale you with stories of short, breath-taking Amanda Woodward power skirts, tight Caitlin Moore pencil skirts, clingy Sammy Jo gowns and skintight Stacy Sheridan uniforms.

Directed by Malcolm Lee (Undercover Brother) and co-written by Zucker, the horror-comedy spoofs Darren Aronofsky’s 2010 Oscar-nominated film Black Swan. Locklear will step into the looney mom role played by Barbara Hershey in Aronofsky’s film.

Locklear’s costars include Lindsay Lohan (Machete), Charlie Sheen (Machete Kills), Terry Crews (The Expendables), Marisa Saks (“Entourage”), Erica Ash (“MADTV”), Simon Rex (Scary Movie 4), Molly Shannon (“Saturday Night Live”) and Ashley Tisdale (High School Musical) in the Natalie Portman role.

Scary Movie 5 arrives in theaters on April 19, 2013.