Twilight fans hoping to someday see Bella in the buff were thrilled to hear late last year that Kristen Stewart would play an emotionally unstable stripper-hooker named Mallory in director Jake Scott’s indie-drama Welcome to the Rileys. Unfortunately, the film is heavy on exposition and not on exploitation.
The flick does have a couple of Stewart ass shots, but they may belong to a body double so, if your relationship with your penis is built on trust, you may want to think twice before busting out the KY warming gel.
I’ve posted both scenes here (courtesy YouTube & Egotastic) to save you some Redbox money. You be the judge.
The first image of Karl Urban’s jaw as Judge Dredd in director Pete Travis’ (Vantage Point) upcoming cinematic ode to the U.K.’s most popular antihero has hit the web (pictured above). According to Travis, Judge Dredd will not be removing his helmet in the film, thus allowing Urban’s jaw to finally gain some exposure.
Currently filming in South Africa on a reported budget of $45 million, Dredd 3-D stars Karl Urban’s jaw and indie-starlet Olivia Thirlby as Mega City One judges Joe Dredd and Cassandra Anderson. 28 Days Later scribe Alex Garland penned the script, which is said to be a more authentically hardcore adaptation of the Judge Dredd comic series than the 1995 Sylvester Stallone/Rob Schneider vehicle.
Karl Urban’s jaw has starred in J.J. Abrams’Star Trek, Ghost Ship, Doom, The Chronicles of Riddick, Pathfinder, and Peter Jackson’s The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers and The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. His jaw will also be seen in Sony Screen Gems’ vampire-apocalypse frightener Priest and Anchor Bay’s abduction-thriller And Soon the Darkness.
Though she’d most likely never be caught dead with a guy who drives a Fiat, actress Jessica Lowndes attended ‘An Evening with Chrysler and Fiat’ earlier this week in Los Angeles. The busty 22-year-old Canuck sported a BCBG Max Azria strapless cocktail dress with sexy red satin slingback platform pumps (that’s right, beyotches, I’m the Tim Gun of horror—minus the weekly stomach pumpings).
Lowndes is best known for playing aspiring actress and junkie Adrianna Tate-Duncan on The CW’s “90210” revamp. Her horror creds include director Kaare Andrews’ Altitude, Adam Gierasch’s gruesome medical-frightener Autopsy and 20th Century Fox’s teen-thriller The Haunting of Molly Hartley. She also starred on Showtime’s “Masters of Horror (Dance of the Dead).”
Slovakian stunner Barbara Nedeljakova headlines a cast of fit outdoorsy babes in director Rupert Bryan’s upcoming survival-frightener The Hike. Set in England’s countryside, the film follows the girls as they attempt to escape a group of malicious survivalists during what was supposed to be a tranquil hiking expedition.
Bryan explains:
The Hike is a very emotional story, with really strong characters. In one way, it’s a thriller that is very much about the chase and the kill, but on another level it is a story of realism. The film is set in a situation we could all find ourselves in, with people we all might know.
I couldn’t agree more. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from watching films like The Hike and The Descent, it’s to avoid outdoor activity. They can’t kill you if you stay home … in an underground bunker with guns and HBO.
Nedeljakova is best known in the States for her role as Euro cock-bait Natalya in writer/director Eli Roth’s Hostel. The 31-year-old will next be seen in Joel Soisson’s (Pulse 3) straight-to-DVD sequel Children of the Corn: The Dweller.
The Hike's starlets
The Hike costars Jemma Bolt (How to Lose Friends and Alienate People), Lisa Marie Long (Black Tower Temptation), Zara Phythian (Crops), Stephanie Siadatan, Ben Loyd Holmes (“Torchwood”) and Tamer Hassan (Clash of the Titans).
A lucky group of prepubescent kids got an eyeful of awesome 3-D torture-porn while attending a friend’s birthday party at the Showcase Cinemas in Revere, Mass. The children and their parents had gone to the theater to see DreamWorks’ animated family film Megamind, but instead were exposed to a string of R-rated previews and the opening kill sequence of Lionsgate’s Saw 3-D.
Spokespeople for the theater have expressed their regret over the accident and offered parents a free child’s ticket to see any movie of their choosing. The gesture, however, has not been enough to placate Dolph Rau, an upset father of a seven-year-old pussy who is now too scared to go to the movies.
Check it out:
C’mon, you telling me that guy’s kid isn’t already living some kind of hillbilly horror show? Unless Rau is prepping a lawsuit that will have him up to his flipped ball cap in NASCAR tickets and Coors six packs, I think he should take his kid back to see Saw 3-D to ensure the child grows some hair on his nuts.
In these gay-fueled days of “Glee” and Justin Bieber, it’s important to expose our boys to manly interests such as horror and sex. If seven-year-old boys are complaining about violence in movies, nudity in comics, and getting blown by their hot 30-year-old female teachers, then we have already lost the battle.
If you’re dad, do your part. Skip Megamind. Take your kids to Saw 3-D. It’s the right thing to do.
Monique La Barr, the sexy 29-year-old star of such contemporary classics as Huge Naked Guy and O.C. Babes and the Slasher of Zombietown, joins scream queen Victoria De Mare in director John Lechago’s indie-frightener Contagion (previously entitled Bio-Slime).
La Barr plays Donna, the girlfriend of a drug dealer who gets killed while trying to hustle a mysterious stranger over a briefcase containing a slime-like substance that ends up consuming everything in its wake, including Donna and her tentacle-raped nude friend Mary, portrayed by De Mare.
Costars include Vinnie Bilancio (Blood Gnome) and porn stars Gia Paloma (Cum Fart Cocktails) and Roxy Devill (Ass Eaters Unanimous 16).
“Glee’s” Dianna Agron and British up-and-comer Alex Pettyfer discuss their characters’ relationship in a recently released featurette for DreamWorks upcoming sci-fi actioner I Am Number 4. Directed by D.J. Caruso (Disturbia), the film is an adaptation of the upcoming HarperCollins young-adult novel written by James Frey (”A Million Little Pieces”) and Jobie Hughes.
The story revolves around John Smith (Pettyfer), an alien refugee living peacefully incognito as a high school student in Paradise, Ohio until he’s discovered by the extraterrestrial enemies that destroyed his home planet. The film is produced by Steven Spielberg and Michael Bay and costars Teresa Palmer, Timothy Olyphant, and former “LOST” villain Kevin Durand.
Self described “little action whore” Zoe Saldana is set to kick drug lord ass in producer/writer Luc Besson’s (The Fifth Element) new revenge-thriller Colombiana. The first images of Saldana as Colombian assassin Cataleya Restrepo hit the web today and have been posted here for your viewing pleasure.
The film’s official synopsis reads:
At age 10, Cataleya Restrepo (Saldana) witnesses the brutal murder of her parents by a Colombian drug lord Don Luis. Cataleya manages to escape the bullets of the assassin and reach Chicago, where her gangster uncle, Emilio, lives.
Emilio is doing his best to keep Cataleya out of the criminal life, but she is determined to become a professional killer. At 25, Cataleya has become a real killer operating on behalf of her uncle, but her sole desire is to find Don Luis and avenge the death of her parents.
OK, so that doesn’t sound like the kind of movie Clatto normally covers. But, that’s what happens when you write a blog with your penis like I do. Besides, variety is the spice of life, right? Maybe, the flick will have a grindhousey slant like Robert Rodriguez’s Machete or Quentin Tarantino’s Kill Bill. Guess we’ll have to wait and masturbate to Zoe’s pics see.
Directed by Olivier Megaton (Transporter), Colombiana costars Michael Vartan (“Alias”), Lennie James (“The Walking Dead”), Callum Blue (“Dead Like Me”), and Cynthia Addai-Robinson (“Flashforward”). It arrives in theaters on Sept. 2, 2011.
Last year, Saldana starred as Lieutenant Nyota Uhurain in J.J. Abrams’ successful Star Trek reboot and as Na’vi babe Neytiri in James Cameron’s epic cinematic gamechanger Avatar. The Dominican beauty will reprise both roles in the films’ respective sequels.
Crank and Mirrors star Amy Smart can be seen opposite Grindhouse babe Rose McGowan and Terminator 3’s Nick Stahl in New Films upcoming supernatural thriller Dead Awake. Directed by newcomer Omar Naim, the film will play theaters in Los Angeles, New York, Dallas, Chicago, Atlanta and Houston on Dec. 3.
Check out the trailer:
Producers Jason Price and Lucas Jarach describe the project:
The film is a gripping and visually stylistic thriller blurring the line between fantasy and reality that will leave audiences guessing until the very end.
Rose, Amy and Nick have delivered tremendous performances that capture the mysterious nature of their characters and the supernatural world we have created. We’re very excited that the movie will get the theatrical release it deserves this fall.
Amy Smart’s genre creds include the zombie-apocalypse frightener Seventh Moon, Dee Snyder’s Strangeland, New Line’s Butterfly Effect, 1997’s Campfire Tales, and Paul Verhoeven’s Starship Troopers.
Rose McGowan
Rose McGowen has starred in Wes Craven’sScream, Dimension Films’ Phantoms opposite Ben Affleck, Brian De Palma’s The Black Dahlia, Robert Rodriguez’ Machete, and the WB television series “Charmed.” Up next for McGowan is director Marcus Nispel’s Conan the Barbarian remake.
Dead Awake arrives on DVD and Blu-ray disc on March 29, 2011.
The first official teaser for Iron Man director Jon Favreau’s adaptation of Scott Mitchell Rosenberg’s graphic novel Cowboys & Aliens rode into town this morning. Set in the mid 19th century, the sci-fi actioner follows gunslinger Jake Lonergan (Daniel Craig), Ella Verity (Olivia Wilde), and Colonel Dolarhyde (Harrison Ford) as they set out to stop an alien race from enslaving humankind.
Peep the trailer:
The film’s official synopsis reads:
1873. Arizona Territory. A stranger (Craig) with no memory of his past stumbles into the hard desert town of Absolution. The only hint to his history is a mysterious shackle that encircles one wrist. What he discovers is that the people of Absolution don’t welcome strangers, and nobody makes a move on its streets unless ordered to do so by the iron-fisted Colonel Dolarhyde (Ford). It’s a town that lives in fear.
But Absolution is about to experience fear it can scarcely comprehend as the desolate city is attacked by marauders from the sky. Screaming down with breathtaking velocity and blinding lights to abduct the helpless one by one, these monsters challenge everything the residents have ever known.
Now, the stranger they rejected is their only hope for salvation. As this gunslinger slowly starts to remember who he is and where he’s been, he realizes he holds a secret that could give the town a fighting chance against the alien force. With the help of the elusive traveler Ella (Olivia Wilde), he pulls together a posse comprised of former opponents—townsfolk, Dolarhyde and his boys, outlaws and Apache warriors—all in danger of annihilation. United against a common enemy, they will prepare for an epic showdown for survival.
Cowboys & Aliens costars Sam Rockwell (Iron Man 2), Walton Goggins (Predators), Clancy Brown (“LOST”), Abigail Spencer (Haunting in Georgia), Keith Carradine (“Dexter”), Paul Dano (Taking Lives), Ana de la Reguera (Nacho Libre), and Adam Beach (Flags of Our Fathers).
The film’s script was written by “LOST” co-creator Damon Lindelof with go-to collaborators Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci. Steven Spielberg, Ron Howard and Brian Grazer serve as producers.
Cowboys and Indians will be in theaters on July 29, 2011.
