Tomorrow, you can catch a two-minute-plus trailer of Zack Snyder’s big screen adaptation of author Kathryn Lasky’s Guardians of Ga’Hoole at any showing of Disney’s Alice in Wonderland. But, what if you die today on your way back home from work? You’ll never know what the owls looked like.

Well, relax. USA Today has scored some cherry images from the film (now titled Legend of the Guardians) showcasing some of your favorite feathered friends, including Queen Barran (pictured above), voiced by Deborra-Lee Furness.

Check out the other images:

Noctus is Soren's father. Voice by Hugo Weaving.

Nyra is an evil queen of the St. Aegolius Academy for Orphaned Owls. Voice by Helen Mirren.

Eglantine (left) is voiced by Emilie de Ravin, hero Soren (center) by Jim Sturgess, & Soren's brother Kludd (right) by Ryan Kwanten.

Boron (center-left) is the King of Ga'hoole. Voice by Richard Roxburgh.

First we got to see Evangeline Lilly’s phone sex ads, now we have Michael Emerson’s acting performance in an 18-year-old training video made for rookie prison guards.

I’m freaking out. It’s as if we’re getting a glimpse at a flash-sideways showing us what could have become of Lilly and Emerson had they not been cast on ABC’s hit series “LOST.”

Man, watching that, I just kept waiting for Emerson to work his bug-eyed mojo and get the inmate to believe that he should stay in prison because Jacob said so. Of course, that would occur right after the prisoner punched Emerson 300 times in the face.

Emerson won an Emmy award this year for his portrayal of genius puppet-master Benjamin Linus on ABC’s “LOST,” currently on its sixth and final season.

Proving you can’t keep a good woman down (not even six feet under), “Dexter” starlet Julie Benz has joined the cast of ABC Studios’ long-running hit show “Desperate Housewives.” The 37-year-old cougar plays Robin Gallagher, a ditzy ex-stripper out to seduce Dana Delany’s Katherine Mayfair.

(UPDATE: Benz also stars this fall on ABC’s ‘No Ordinary Family.’ See the trailer here.)

Check it out:

If Benz doesn’t win an Emmy for this performance, I sincerely hope her wardrobe department is at least recognized.

In other Benz news, the actress is also set to star as the scientist wife of Michael Chiklis on ABC’s new super-hero drama “No Ordinary Family.” Her character will have the power of super-speed.

Super-speed? Now, that’s a power every wife could use … to make us a fucking sandwich! (High-fives imaginary sexist friends).

Enjoy the gallery:

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We are now only a month away from watching Christina Ricci’s nude-turn in Anchor Bay’s upcoming psychological thriller After.Life. According to those who caught an early screening of the film during last year’s AFI festival, Ricci spends the better half of the flick in the buff.

Anchor Bay Entertainment has released the film’s first official trailer, but don’t go getting your lube and cock-ring out just yet—the clip is nudity-free.

Take a look:

Directed by Agnieszka Wojtowicz-Vosloo, After.Life centers on a young woman (Ricci), the victim of an automobile accident, who awakens to find that she is being prepped for burial by a mysterious mortician (Liam Neeson) who insists that she is dead.

After.Life begins its limited theatrical run on April 9.

Daryl Hannah and her nude breasts headline Chilean director Raoul Ruiz’s psychological thriller A Closed Book, premiering in the U.K. this month.

Based on the novel by Gilbert Adair, the story revolves around a British author (Tom Conti) blinded in an automobile accident and the mysterious, possibly sinister, American assistant (Hannah) he hires to help him write his autobiography.

The film has garnered an insane amount of God-awful reviews, but it does have something going for it: two totally frivolous nude scenes from 49-year-old cougar Daryl Hannah. You can peep one of the scenes here, but heads up—the ass shot is most likely a body-double.

Hannah’s creds include The Tie That Binds, Attack of the 50Ft. Woman, Memoirs of an Invisible Man, High Spirits, Brian De Palma’s The Fury, and Ridley Scott’s 1982 classic Blade Runner. As of late, she has been starred in such direct-to-DVD fodder as Dark Honeymoon, The Cycle, and Shark Swarm.

Audrina Patridge is sure to get a whole new group of stalkers thanks to her bikini-clad pictorial in FHM U.K. The star of last year’s sexy slasher Sorority Row and MTV’s horrific rich-bitch soap “The Hills” graces the cover of the magazine’s April issue.

The shots feature Patridge and her magnificent breasts frolicking beach side in various bikinis. The issue is available online and wherever the hell they still sell these things called magazines.

Take off your pants and check out the gallery:

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Guardians of Ga’Hoole author Kathryn Lasky broke some exciting news about Zack Snyder’s film adaptation of her books today. The trailer for Legends of the Guardians (that’s what it’s called now)will make its debut in the States and the U.K. ahead of Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland on March 5.

(UPDATE: See images from the movie here)

Lasky says on her website:

My big news is about the Guardians movie! A trailer for it will be shown all across the country attached to Alice in Wonderland starting March fifth. Go look for it. By the way, the movie is called Legend of the Guardians. Hollywood is worried that nobody except you will know what Ga’Hoole means.

The Legend of the Guardians trailer runs 2 minutes and 15 seconds and will be presented in 3-D, where available. The film is due in theaters on Sept. 24.

Looks like author Seth Grahame-Smith is going to be one rich bastard. His new novel Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (Grand Central Publishing) arrived in bookstores today and is already set to be adapted for the big screen by producers Tim Burton and Timur Bekmambetov, the visionary team behind last year’s criminally underrated 9.

Tim Burton: Vampire Producer

Smith’s Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter re-writes history by pitting the 16th U.S. president against an army of vampires in a secret battle set against the backdrop of the Civil War. The 34-year-old author will adapt the screenplay from his novel.

A trailer for the book, directed by Adam Reid, debuted earlier this week.

Take a look:

Also on the horizon for Smith is an adaptation of his Jane Austin-meets-the-living-dead New York Times bestseller Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, produced by and starring Natalie Portman and distributed through Lionsgate.

The friendly degenerates at Grindhouse Releasing would like to remind all you shut-ins about the extremely groovy theatrical re-release of Sam Raimi’s The Evil Dead, playing at midnight on Friday, March 5 at the Nuart Theater (11272 Santa Monica Blvd., West Los Angeles, CA).

Grindhouse’s theatrical director David Szulkin writes:

Grindhouse Releasing has been blazing a bloody trail across the country with midnight screenings of director Sam Raimi’s THE EVIL DEAD. The company has now struck a brand-new 35mm print of the horror classic to debut this Friday, March 5 at Landmark’s Nu Art theater (11272 Santa Monica Boulevard, West Los Angeles, CA).

“We’re expecting a sold-out crowd for EVIL DEAD in Los Angeles, following our successful openings in New York, Seattle, Dallas, Houston, Portland, and other cities,” says David Szulkin, Grindhouse Releasing’s theatrical director. “Demand for the movie led us to make a new print, which includes our all-new horror trailer show. Our plan is to keep EVIL DEAD playing in theaters throughout 2010.”

Grindhouse has teamed with the Austin, Tx.,-based Alamo Drafthouse franchise for upcoming dates in Austin, Dallas, Houston, San Antonio, and Alexandria, Va., and has struck deals with arthouses and other indie venues to keep the EVIL DEAD tour rolling through major cities in the coming months.

Raimi and producers Robert Tapert and Bruce Campbell gave the go-ahead for the EVIL DEAD revival to Grindhouse Releasing partner Bob Murawski, the Academy Award-nominated film editor of THE HURT LOCKER, Raimi’s SPIDER MAN 1, 2 & 3, DRAG ME TO HELL, and the EVIL DEAD sequel ARMY OF DARKNESS.

For more info, visit GrindhouseReleasing.com.

Harrison Ford confirmed to the BBC that he, George Lucas, and Steven Spielberg have whipped up a premise for a fifth Indiana Jones adventure.

The 67-year-old actor said:

Steven [Spielberg] and George [Lucas] and I are sort of agreed on a germ of an idea and we’re seeing what comes of it.

The process works like this … We come to some basic agreement and then George goes away for a long time and works on it. Then Steven and I get it in some form, some embryonic form. Then if we like it, we start working with George on it and at some point down the line it’s ready and we do it.

Let’s hope the fifth Indy movie makes up for the disappointing Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of Sucks Balls in the way that Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade totally redeemed the series after the cinematic jerk-off that was Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. For starters, maybe kill off the Transformers kid and replace him with a hot daughter ala Kelly Brook.

The Indiana Jones franchise has made close to $2 billion worldwide.