If you thought William Golding’s “Lord of the Flies” was pretty good but a bit of a sausage party, you’ll be happy to know that Warner Bros. is correcting the literary classic by adapting it to the screen with an all-female cast. The announcement was met, of course, with a ridiculous amount of disdain online.

Nerds argued the point of the novel would be lost with an all-female cast while feminists were outraged the film is being directed by people with balls – not figurative balls, but actual balls. The real issue, however, has yet to be addressed: will the chicks be hot?

We figure there has to be one fattie in the bunch to take on the role of Piggy, but who would play the other girls? Chloe Grace Moretz as Ralphie? Bella Thorne as Jack? Would bikinis come into play or would it be more of a loincloth and leaves deal? These are the questions that matter, dammit!

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