Warner Bros. has released a trailer for its Roar Uthaug-directed Tomb Raider reboot, starring Alicia Vikander as iconic video game treasure hunter Lara Croft. Judging by the footage, the new film succeeds in stripping Croft from any overt feminine sexuality – as it is now offensive to portray heroines as voluptuous.

At a time when young girls are actually dressing more provocatively than ever, pants on Croft makes about as much sense as they do on the Kool Aid man and puts forth a confusing message – are we only to respect female heroes if they dress conservatively?

We know pompous ass-hat James Cameron thinks so. He lost his shit over Wonder Woman’s sexy costume, suggesting she was too hotly attired to be taken seriously. Meanwhile, the penis-apologists at The Hollywood Reporter wrote how relieved they were to see Croft’s body wasn’t made grotesque with the presence of large breasts.

Yes, breasts and curves, how gross and anti-heroic. Only strippers, prostitutes, Hooters waitresses – you know, women of ill repute – have curves and breasts! Fuck that. Croft was created as a bodacious character and her figure never made a difference in her ass-kicking and puzzle-solving capabilities – that was solely based on the game player’s skills.

That said… the flick looks good!

Peep it: