“True Blood” shapeshifter Lindsay Pulsipher stars as a woman trapped in her boyfriend’s artsy-fartsy ode to David Lynch in The Oregonian, the feature film debut of writer/director and aforementioned boyfriend Calvin Lee Reeder. The film will debut at next month’s Sundance Film Festival in Park City, Utah.

Folks at Twitch got the trailer. Take a look:

The film’s Sundance synopsis reads:

There is a place. A place where the skies are wide and the forests are thick—and strange. You can lose yourself forever in these woods. You’ll meet truckers with problems and old women with strange powers. You may even make a furry friend. Just be sure to stay quiet.

Spend some time with a woman from Oregon who is lost on the road and running away from her past. Now she has a chance to experience everything the grotesque Northwest has to offer, whether she likes it or not.

Pulsipher has made appearances on ABC’s “FlashForward” and  Showtime’s “Masters of Horrors,” but is best known for her turn as werepanther Crystal Norris on season three of the hit HBO vampire series “True Blood.”

South African model-turned-actress Tanit Phoenix and her glorious breasts are set to get your motor running on Jan. 18 with the release of Universal’s Death Race: Frankenstein Lives, the straight-to-DVD  prequel to 2008’s Jason Statham vehicle.

Phoenix plays Katrina Banks, an ex-military sniper doing time for killing her superior officer. In the following clip, the 29-year-old babe talks about her character, her unique name, and yada yada while her boobs do all the hard work in skimpy tops.

Peep it, yo:

Death Race: Frankenstein Lives costars Luke Goss, Sean Bean, Ving Rhames, Lauren Cohan, and Hollywood’s hardest working Mexi-can Danny Trejo. Universal has already announced plans for a third Death Race installment.

Up next for Phoenix is the role of narrator on HBO’s sexy new 13-part mystery series “Femme Fatales,” an Americanized version of Univision’s “Mujeres Asesinas (Murderous Women).” Phoenix is also rumored to be in the running for the role of Wonder Woman in writer/producer David E. Kelly’s TV adaptation of DC Comics’ beloved Amazonian heroine.

If you need your Phoenix fix now, however, you can catch the 5-foot-9 stunner dwarfing Corey Feldman in Lost Boys: The Thirst.

Yvonne Zima (sister to “Californication’s” resident bad girl Madeline) broke into Hollywood at the age of five playing Dr. Mark Greene’s daughter Rachel on the long-running NBC medical drama “ER.” Now 21, the acting vet finally looks like someone we’d definitely play doctor with, and by play doctor we, of course, mean slice-and-dice.

That’s where Passion River Films come in. The studio has cast Zima as the female lead in newbie director Sage Bannick’s upcoming serial killer frightener The Absent. The New Jersey born actress will play Katie Anderson, a high school student engaged in an affair with her teacher and a game of cat-and-mouse with his homicidal brother.

Produced by Chris Siverston (I Know Who Killed Me), The Absent arrives on DVD on March 15. However, if you live near one of the following theaters, you could catch it on the big screen during its limited run starting on Jan. 7.

Peep the dates and locations:

Jan. 7 – Seattle WA, Ethnic Cultural Theater
Jan. 8 – Wenatchee WA, Liberty Theater
Jan. 9 – Omak WA, Mirage Theater
Jan. 10 – Ellensburg WA, – Central Washington University
Jan. 11 – Moscow ID, – Kenworthy Performing Arts Centre
Jan. 12 – Spokane WA, Magic Lantern Theater
Jan. 13 – Twisp WA, Twisp River Pub
Jan. 14 – Eugene OR, Bijou Theater
Jan. 15 – LA CA, Sweetwater Theater
Jan. 16 – San Jose CA, Hensely Theater

Here we have former “Firefly” starlet Summer Glau in a promo shot for her upcoming NBC superhero series “The Cape,” premiering Jan. 9. The petite 29-year-old Texas stunner plays a crime fighting blogger named Orwell out to bring down corrupt corporations and aid a framed cop-turned-costumed-hero find justice.

She tells Digital Spy:

I’m so technically deficient. I can barely turn my computer on, so it’s really fun for me to play somebody who has all the latest gadgets and has access to the most cutting edge cars.

She’s always cutting her own path. She’s three steps ahead of everybody else. She obviously has a higher calling and what she’s trying to do is selfless in a way, but it’s also very personally charged.

And then, on the other end, she’s driving these gorgeous cars and she has beautiful clothes to wear and she’s always got a new lair. She’s fighting crime, but she likes to look good too.

The show’s two-hour pilot episode is directed by Simon West (Lara Croft: Tomb Raider) and stars David Lyons as Vince Faraday, AKA The Cape. Costars include James Frain (“True Blood”), Keith David (Chain Letter), Jennifer Ferrin (“As the World Turns”), and the insanely hot Izabella Miko (Athena in Clash of the Titans).

Glau, whose additional creds include “Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles” and “Dollhouse,” is on Clatto’s list of The 20 Hottest Women Working In Horror/Sci-fi Today.

TNT has released the first official trailer for its upcoming Steven Spielberg-produced “Walking Dead”-but-with-aliens television series “Falling Skies.”  The show stars model-turned-actress Moon Bloodgood (Terminator: Salvation), 19-year-old newcomer Seychelle Gabriel (The Last Airbender), and sexy Canuck Sarah Carter (DOA: Dead or Alive).

Peep it:

Hmm. My knack for the obvious is telling me that “ER’s” Noah Wyle may be the actual star of this show and not any of the hot actresses mentioned above. Well, I guess, as long as Carter doesn’t end up moving to Africa in season 10, all should be OK.

“Falling Skies” is set to premiere in June with a pilot episode penned by Oscar nominated writer Robert Rodat (Saving Private Ryan). Verheiden and Greg Beeman (“Smallville”) are co-executive producing  the project.

If you’re reading Clatto on Christmas Day, there’s a good chance you weren’t invited to join in on any Baby Jesus games. Well, don’t sweat it. Being loved will only get in the way of your serial killing dreams and degenerate lifestyle.

So, go on and get yourself a bottle of Belvedere, strip down to your underwear, and jingle your bell all the way while surfing the site.

Merry X-mas!

A grimy, grindhouse-y NSFW trailer for writer/director /actor Michael Biehn’s upcoming girls-in-peril thriller The Victim has hit the web. The film stars Biehn as an antisocial woodsman named Kyle who comes to the aid of a large breasted blonde (Jennifer  Blanc) whose stripper/coke-head BFF (Danielle Harris) has been sexually assaulted by a couple of sheriff’s deputies in the woods.

Peep the sleazy trailer:

Now, just in case anyone got distracted by Blanc’s ample nude breasts or Harris’ doggy-style rape, the film’s official synopsis reads:

Good time girls Annie (Blanc) and Mary (Harris) find themselves in a life and death situation. Annie’s life is put in jeopardy when she is witness to a violent act at the hands of two Sheriff’s Deputies. Fleeing from attackers (Ryan Honey, Denny Kirkwood), she stumbles across Kyle (Biehn), a recluse living in the middle of the woods.

The ruggedly handsome loner stays far from civilization – that is – until a single knock on his door throws his solitary life into chaos. Two worlds collide in this psychological thriller that will make you question your trust in mankind. Who is the victim?

Horror fans will of course recognize Harris from such films as Rob Zombie’s Halloween 1 & 2, The Black Waters of Echo Pond, Hatchet 2, and the old-school sequels Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers and Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers—both of which she starred in as a tween. Her costar Blanc, on the other hand, may not be quite as familiar face.

Blanc has appeared on multiple TV shows—mostly non-horror—and previously starred with Harris in the starlet’s directorial debut Prank. The 36-year-old stunner also happens to be  Biehn’s wife, which makes her topless appearance in the film and its trailer kinda kinky in a cuckold sort of way (what? am I alone here?).

Danielle Harris is featured on Clatto’s list of The 20 Hottest Women Working in Horror/Sci-fi Today.

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Scottish actress Karen Gillan stars as Amy Pond on Britain’s long-running sci-fi series “Dr. Who.” The 23-year-old redhead also makes an appearance in Vertigo Films’ creature-feature Outcast. Thanks to these two genre creds, we can stroke to appreciate her sexy Shortlist magazine shots without selling out our penis’s integrity.

The pics and an interview (in which Gillan declares her love for geeks over studs) appear in the December issue of the mag. But, I scored you a copy here.

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Acclaimed director Darren Aronofsky’s (The Fountain) new psychological thriller Black Swan opened this month to critical accolades and Oscar buzz.

The film, which follows an emotionally unstable ballet dancer who may or may not be the target of her sexy, evil alternate during a production of Swan Lake, includes an intense and titillating masturbation scene from star Natalie Portman.

I saw the film last week  and I have to admit that it’s a very haunting moment in the film. In fact, my penis is still doing pirouettes over it. You can check it out here.

Natalie Portman made Clatto’s list of The 20 Hottest Women Working in Horror/Sci-fi Today.

Photos from Universal Studios Home Entertainment’s upcoming prequel Death Race: Frankenstein Lives have hit the web. Directed by Roel Reine (Scorpion King: Rise of the Dead), the film stars former-prison-inmate-turned-Hollywood-headliner Danny Trejo, Sean Bean, Ving Rhames, Luke Goss, Lauren Cohan, and South African model/actress Tanit Phoenix (pictured above).

(UPDATE: SEE TANIT PHOENIX & HER GLORIOUS BREASTS IN DEATH RACE 2 BTS HERE)

Phoenix, who also headlined Corey Feldman’s mortgage payment Lost Boys: The Thirst, spoke to Skewed and Reviewed about her role:

I play Katrina Banks, an ex-military sniper sent to prison for killing her superior officer, you find out why in the film. I am forced, by the prison warden, to navigate the mustang with the lead actor, played by Luke Goss, who becomes my love interest.

I am feisty and love fast cars and I can handle my own when it comes to fighting. The only other thing I needed to wrap my head around was the scenario of being thrown in prison. Although Katrina Banks inherently is a military woman, she did kill a man, so she has to deal with prison life.

But hanging out with Danny Trejo on set helped me get into the mind of a convict. He shared some amazing stories of his past with me. I feel lucky to have had those moments to get to know him, as I consider him a part of my family now.

Damn. I knew I should have gotten my Tweety bird tattoo on my chest. Chicks dig chest tats.

The original Death Race 2000 was produced by Roger Corman in 1975 and starred chronic masturbator David Carradine and Sylvester Stallone. The film was remade by director Paul W.S. Anderson (Resident Evil: Afterlife) in 2008 with Jason Statham in the driver’s seat. The remake earned over $72 million in worldwide coin.

Death Race: Frankenstein Lives arrives on DVD and Blu-ray on Jan. 18, 2011.

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