2010
12.31

Director Joe Maggio Serves Up Gore & Giggles in ‘Bitter Feast’

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Dark Sky has cooked up a new trailer for writer/director Joe Maggio’s revenge-is-a-dish-best-served-sauteed thriller Bitter Feast, available on DVD on Jan. 4. The film follows a celebrity chef taken to the boiling point (somebody stop me) after losing his job over a particularly nasty review from some asshole food blogger.

The trailer is served. Bon appetit:

That should make you think twice about complaining over your wife’s turkey this holiday season.

Anyway, the official synopsis reads:

Notorious and influential food blogger J.T. Franks (Joshua Leonard) writes a particularly vicious review that doesn’t sit well at all with its subject, Peter Grey (James LeGros), a chef whose career is already on a down slide and may not survive this latest blow.

So the temperamental, egotistical chef concocts an elaborate and deadly revenge scheme. Grey kidnaps Franks and chains him in a remote cabin in the woods, where he forces him to prepare deceptively simple dishes – from eggs over easy to medium-rare steak – then tortures him sadistically for anything less than perfection.

A tense thrill-ride prepared with wicked wit and culinary flare, BITTER FEAST is an exploration of the creative impulse gone tragically and ferociously awry.

Bitter Feast is produced by Glass Eye Pix and costars Amy Seimetz, producer Larry Fessenden (House of the Devil), and “Iron Chef” Mario Batali. The film premiered at the Los Angeles Film Festival to a healthy helping of positive reviews.


2010
12.30

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Spanish actress Norma Ruiz stars as a woman out to find her missing coworker in director José Luis Alemán’s Lovecraftian thriller La Herencia Valdemar II: La Sombra Prohibida (gringo translation: Inheritance Valdemar II: The Shadow Prohibited).

Peep the trailer:

The film’s official synopsis reads:

4 days ago: Luisa Llorente, a farm appraiser, had the formidable task of going to evaluate the home of Lazarus Valdemar, but she’s not been heard from. Two expeditions go out in search of her: first is Nicholas Tramel, a detective hired by Maximilian Colvin, head of Inmoverance, the company Luisa works for, and the other comprised of coworkers Ana and Eduardo, who travel by car with the idea of joining forces with the detective, but something happens.

Man, I hate it when something happens. It reminds me of the time I set out to assassinate John Ritter, but something happened. You gotta give the Spanish credit; they sure know how to keep plot points close to the vest.

Norma Ruiz starred in Alemán’s original La Herencia Valdemar. The 30-year-old Madrid-born stunner made her name on the Spanish soap “Yo Soy Bea.”

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La Herencia Valdemar II: La Sombra Prohibida costars Silvia Abascal, Laia Marull, Danielle Liotti, Oscar Jaenada, Ana Risueno, Santi Prego and Jose Olmedo. It opens in Spain on Jan. 28.

2010
12.30

Former Gang Bang Queen Jasmine St. Claire Takes On New Stiffs in ‘Blood Lodge’

Jasmine St. Claire

Porn star Jasmine St. Claire may have hung up her g-string a decade ago, but that doesn’t mean she can’t take on a few more stiffs. The notorious one-time gang-bang record holder (World’s Biggest Gang Bang 2) is now set to star in writer/director Kevin Orosz’s zombie frightener Blood Lodge.

The skinny as explained by Orosz:

A zombie attack happens in the fictional town of Ten Acres while a group of friends travel for a ski weekend. The group unites with other guests staying at the Ten Acres Lodge and tries to stay alive by fighting the zombies. ‘Blood Lodge’ is like ‘Zombie Land’ meets ‘Dazed and Confused’ mixed with the 1970s grindhouse movies.

Production on the film—which costars “The Sopranos'” Vincent “Big Pussy” Pastore—is slated for March in Stowe, Vermont. No word on what St. Claire’s role will be in the picture, but—if played to her strengths—it should involve blowing flames out of her ass and performing the world’s first and biggest zombie gang-bang.

St. Claire claimed the record for world’s biggest gang-bang from Annabel Chong in 1996, taking on a reported 300 men in one day. Despite rival cock-monkey Houston shattering that record in 1999 (over 600 dudes!) , St. Claire remained a fan-fav by destroying her anus in films such as Jasmine’s Last Gang Bang and Blow It Out Your Ass.

For her suffering, she will be inducted into the AVN Hall of Fame in 2011.

2010
12.30

‘True Blood’ Star Lindsay Pulsipher Gets Bloodier in ‘The Oregonian’

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“True Blood” shapeshifter Lindsay Pulsipher stars as a woman trapped in her boyfriend’s artsy-fartsy ode to David Lynch in The Oregonian, the feature film debut of writer/director and aforementioned boyfriend Calvin Lee Reeder. The film will debut at next month’s Sundance Film Festival in Park City, Utah.

Folks at Twitch got the trailer. Take a look:

The film’s Sundance synopsis reads:

There is a place. A place where the skies are wide and the forests are thick—and strange. You can lose yourself forever in these woods. You’ll meet truckers with problems and old women with strange powers. You may even make a furry friend. Just be sure to stay quiet.

Spend some time with a woman from Oregon who is lost on the road and running away from her past. Now she has a chance to experience everything the grotesque Northwest has to offer, whether she likes it or not.

Pulsipher has made appearances on ABC’s “FlashForward” and  Showtime’s “Masters of Horrors,” but is best known for her turn as werepanther Crystal Norris on season three of the hit HBO vampire series “True Blood.”

2010
12.29

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South African model-turned-actress Tanit Phoenix and her glorious breasts are set to get your motor running on Jan. 18 with the release of Universal’s Death Race: Frankenstein Lives, the straight-to-DVD  prequel to 2008’s Jason Statham vehicle.

Phoenix plays Katrina Banks, an ex-military sniper doing time for killing her superior officer. In the following clip, the 29-year-old babe talks about her character, her unique name, and yada yada while her boobs do all the hard work in skimpy tops.

Peep it, yo:

Death Race: Frankenstein Lives costars Luke Goss, Sean Bean, Ving Rhames, Lauren Cohan, and Hollywood’s hardest working Mexi-can Danny Trejo. Universal has already announced plans for a third Death Race installment.

Up next for Phoenix is the role of narrator on HBO’s sexy new 13-part mystery series “Femme Fatales,” an Americanized version of Univision’s “Mujeres Asesinas (Murderous Women).” Phoenix is also rumored to be in the running for the role of Wonder Woman in writer/producer David E. Kelly’s TV adaptation of DC Comics’ beloved Amazonian heroine.

If you need your Phoenix fix now, however, you can catch the 5-foot-9 stunner dwarfing Corey Feldman in Lost Boys: The Thirst.

2010
12.29

Yvonne Zima Takes Role in ‘The Absent’

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Yvonne Zima (sister to “Californication’s” resident bad girl Madeline) broke into Hollywood at the age of five playing Dr. Mark Greene’s daughter Rachel on the long-running NBC medical drama “ER.” Now 21, the acting vet finally looks like someone we’d definitely play doctor with, and by play doctor we, of course, mean slice-and-dice.

That’s where Passion River Films come in. The studio has cast Zima as the female lead in newbie director Sage Bannick’s upcoming serial killer frightener The Absent. The New Jersey born actress will play Katie Anderson, a high school student engaged in an affair with her teacher and a game of cat-and-mouse with his homicidal brother.

Produced by Chris Siverston (I Know Who Killed Me), The Absent arrives on DVD on March 15. However, if you live near one of the following theaters, you could catch it on the big screen during its limited run starting on Jan. 7.

Peep the dates and locations:

Jan. 7 – Seattle WA, Ethnic Cultural Theater
Jan. 8 – Wenatchee WA, Liberty Theater
Jan. 9 – Omak WA, Mirage Theater
Jan. 10 – Ellensburg WA, – Central Washington University
Jan. 11 – Moscow ID, – Kenworthy Performing Arts Centre
Jan. 12 – Spokane WA, Magic Lantern Theater
Jan. 13 – Twisp WA, Twisp River Pub
Jan. 14 – Eugene OR, Bijou Theater
Jan. 15 – LA CA, Sweetwater Theater
Jan. 16 – San Jose CA, Hensely Theater

2010
12.28

Summer Glau Is the Wind Beneath ‘The Cape’

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Here we have former “Firefly” starlet Summer Glau in a promo shot for her upcoming NBC superhero series “The Cape,” premiering Jan. 9. The petite 29-year-old Texas stunner plays a crime fighting blogger named Orwell out to bring down corrupt corporations and aid a framed cop-turned-costumed-hero find justice.

She tells Digital Spy:

I’m so technically deficient. I can barely turn my computer on, so it’s really fun for me to play somebody who has all the latest gadgets and has access to the most cutting edge cars.

She’s always cutting her own path. She’s three steps ahead of everybody else. She obviously has a higher calling and what she’s trying to do is selfless in a way, but it’s also very personally charged.

And then, on the other end, she’s driving these gorgeous cars and she has beautiful clothes to wear and she’s always got a new lair. She’s fighting crime, but she likes to look good too.

The show’s two-hour pilot episode is directed by Simon West (Lara Croft: Tomb Raider) and stars David Lyons as Vince Faraday, AKA The Cape. Costars include James Frain (“True Blood”), Keith David (Chain Letter), Jennifer Ferrin (“As the World Turns”), and the insanely hot Izabella Miko (Athena in Clash of the Titans).

Glau, whose additional creds include “Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles” and “Dollhouse,” is on Clatto’s list of The 20 Hottest Women Working In Horror/Sci-fi Today.

2010
12.27

Moon Bloodgood & Noah Wyle Face Alien Invaders in ‘Falling Skies’

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TNT has released the first official trailer for its upcoming Steven Spielberg-produced “Walking Dead”-but-with-aliens television series “Falling Skies.”  The show stars model-turned-actress Moon Bloodgood (Terminator: Salvation), 19-year-old newcomer Seychelle Gabriel (The Last Airbender), and sexy Canuck Sarah Carter (DOA: Dead or Alive).

Peep it:

Hmm. My knack for the obvious is telling me that “ER’s” Noah Wyle may be the actual star of this show and not any of the hot actresses mentioned above. Well, I guess, as long as Carter doesn’t end up moving to Africa in season 10, all should be OK.

“Falling Skies” is set to premiere in June with a pilot episode penned by Oscar nominated writer Robert Rodat (Saving Private Ryan). Verheiden and Greg Beeman (“Smallville”) are co-executive producing  the project.

2010
12.25

Merry Christmas, Degenerates!

Xmas-Tush

If you’re reading Clatto on Christmas Day, there’s a good chance you weren’t invited to join in on any Baby Jesus games. Well, don’t sweat it. Being loved will only get in the way of your serial killing dreams and degenerate lifestyle.

So, go on and get yourself a bottle of Belvedere, strip down to your underwear, and jingle your bell all the way while surfing the site.

Merry X-mas!

2010
12.25

Danielle Harris Raped, Jennifer Blanc Hunted in Feel Good Movie ‘The Victim’

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A grimy, grindhouse-y NSFW trailer for writer/director /actor Michael Biehn’s upcoming girls-in-peril thriller The Victim has hit the web. The film stars Biehn as an antisocial woodsman named Kyle who comes to the aid of a large breasted blonde (Jennifer  Blanc) whose stripper/coke-head BFF (Danielle Harris) has been sexually assaulted by a couple of sheriff’s deputies in the woods.

Peep the sleazy trailer:

Now, just in case anyone got distracted by Blanc’s ample nude breasts or Harris’ doggy-style rape, the film’s official synopsis reads:

Good time girls Annie (Blanc) and Mary (Harris) find themselves in a life and death situation. Annie’s life is put in jeopardy when she is witness to a violent act at the hands of two Sheriff’s Deputies. Fleeing from attackers (Ryan Honey, Denny Kirkwood), she stumbles across Kyle (Biehn), a recluse living in the middle of the woods.

The ruggedly handsome loner stays far from civilization – that is – until a single knock on his door throws his solitary life into chaos. Two worlds collide in this psychological thriller that will make you question your trust in mankind. Who is the victim?

Horror fans will of course recognize Harris from such films as Rob Zombie’s Halloween 1 & 2, The Black Waters of Echo Pond, Hatchet 2, and the old-school sequels Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers and Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers—both of which she starred in as a tween. Her costar Blanc, on the other hand, may not be quite as familiar face.

Blanc has appeared on multiple TV shows—mostly non-horror—and previously starred with Harris in the starlet’s directorial debut Prank. The 36-year-old stunner also happens to be  Biehn’s wife, which makes her topless appearance in the film and its trailer kinda kinky in a cuckold sort of way (what? am I alone here?).

Danielle Harris is featured on Clatto’s list of The 20 Hottest Women Working in Horror/Sci-fi Today.