‘Dr. Who’ Starlet Karen Gillan Poses in Her Undies!


Scottish actress Karen Gillan stars as Amy Pond on Britain’s long-running sci-fi series “Dr. Who.” The 23-year-old redhead also makes an appearance in Vertigo Films’ creature-feature Outcast. Thanks to these two genre creds, we can stroke to appreciate her sexy Shortlist magazine shots without selling out our penis’s integrity.

The pics and an interview (in which Gillan declares her love for geeks over studs) appear in the December issue of the mag. But, I scored you a copy here.


Natalie Portman Gets Loosey Goosey in ‘Black Swan’ Masturbation Scene!


Acclaimed director Darren Aronofsky’s (The Fountain) new psychological thriller Black Swan opened this month to critical accolades and Oscar buzz.

The film, which follows an emotionally unstable ballet dancer who may or may not be the target of her sexy, evil alternate during a production of Swan Lake, includes an intense and titillating masturbation scene from star Natalie Portman.

I saw the film last week  and I have to admit that it’s a very haunting moment in the film. In fact, my penis is still doing pirouettes over it. You can check it out here.

Natalie Portman made Clatto’s list of The 20 Hottest Women Working in Horror/Sci-fi Today.


‘Death Race 2′ Starlet Tanit Phoenix Loves Fast Cars, Fighting, & Danny Trejo!


Photos from Universal Studios Home Entertainment’s upcoming prequel Death Race: Frankenstein Lives have hit the web. Directed by Roel Reine (Scorpion King: Rise of the Dead), the film stars former-prison-inmate-turned-Hollywood-headliner Danny Trejo, Sean Bean, Ving Rhames, Luke Goss, Lauren Cohan, and South African model/actress Tanit Phoenix (pictured above).


Phoenix, who also headlined Corey Feldman’s mortgage payment Lost Boys: The Thirst, spoke to Skewed and Reviewed about her role:

I play Katrina Banks, an ex-military sniper sent to prison for killing her superior officer, you find out why in the film. I am forced, by the prison warden, to navigate the mustang with the lead actor, played by Luke Goss, who becomes my love interest.

I am feisty and love fast cars and I can handle my own when it comes to fighting. The only other thing I needed to wrap my head around was the scenario of being thrown in prison. Although Katrina Banks inherently is a military woman, she did kill a man, so she has to deal with prison life.

But hanging out with Danny Trejo on set helped me get into the mind of a convict. He shared some amazing stories of his past with me. I feel lucky to have had those moments to get to know him, as I consider him a part of my family now.

Damn. I knew I should have gotten my Tweety bird tattoo on my chest. Chicks dig chest tats.

The original Death Race 2000 was produced by Roger Corman in 1975 and starred chronic masturbator David Carradine and Sylvester Stallone. The film was remade by director Paul W.S. Anderson (Resident Evil: Afterlife) in 2008 with Jason Statham in the driver’s seat. The remake earned over $72 million in worldwide coin.

Death Race: Frankenstein Lives arrives on DVD and Blu-ray on Jan. 18, 2011.



The folks behind Syfy’s upcoming “Battlestar Galactica: Blood and Chrome” appear to be hard at work dreaming up cool concepts and creatures for the “Battlestar Galactica” prequel series. The network has released four concept images teasing slick looking cylons, aliens, and Lucy Lawless topless with naked slave girls … oh wait, that last one is “Spartacus: Blood and Sand.”

The synopsis for “Blood and Chrome” reads:

Ensign William Adama, barely in his 20’s and a recent Academy graduate, finds himself assigned to the newest battlestar in the Colonial fleet … the Galactica. The talented but hot-headed risk-taker soon finds himself leading a dangerous top secret mission that, if successful, will turn the tide of the decade long war in favor of the desperate fleet.

For those of you who were busy getting laid, William Adama was played by Jaime Escalante Edward James Olmos in Syfy’s original “Battlestar” series. Here’s hoping the prequel series gives us some much needed background on Adama’s horrible pockmarks.

A two-hour movie will kick off the series in late 2011 or early 2012.

Images courtesy of Blastr:


Split a Man from Asshole to Apple? We’d Rather Face ‘Black Death’


Magnet Films has released a red-band trailer for director Christopher Smith’s (Severance) gruesome bubonic plague frightener Black Death. The film, which premiered over the summer in the U.K., will have a limited release in the States on March 11, 2011 (or you can see it on Feb. 4 via On Demand).

Peep it (via Hulu):

“To split a man from his asshole to his apple” – Those have got to be the most horrifying words ever spoken.

The film’s official synopsis reads:

The year is 1348. Europe has fallen under the shadow of the Black Death. As the plague decimates all in its path, fear and superstition are rife.

In this apocalyptic environment, the church is losing its grip on the people. There are rumors of a village, hidden in marshland that the plague cannot reach. There is even talk of a necromancer who leads the village and is able to bring the dead back to life.

Ulric, a fearsome knight, is charged by the church to investigate these rumors. He enlists the guidance of a novice monk, Osmund to lead him and his band of mercenary soldiers to the marshland, but Osmund has other motives for leaving his monastery.

Their journey to the village and events that unfold take them into the heart of darkness and to horrors that will put Osmund’s faith in himself and his love for God to the ultimate test.

Black Death stars Sean Bean (Death Race: Frankenstein Lives) as the knight Ulric and Eddie Redmayne (Powder Blue) as the monk Osmund. Costars include  Carice van Houten (Repo Men), David Warner (Planet of the Apes), and Kimberly Nixon (Easy Virtue).


Kirsten Dunst Will Go Nude in ‘Melancholia’


Spiderman starlet Kirsten Dunst tells Vanity Fair that she will go nude in Danish director/degenerate Lars von Trier’s (Antichrist) end-of-the-world sci-fi thriller Melancholia. Dunst, who also goes topless in this month’s relationship drama All Good Things, appears to be embracing her God-given talents of T&A.

She tells VF:

After this [All Good Things], I also have a nude scene in Melancholia. So they’ll get used to seeing me naked. Trust me, they’ll be over it by the next film.

Yes, it will be like watching our sister get naked. Our sexy, very busty sister.

Budgeted at a modest $7 million, Melancholia follows a group of people as they freak the fuck out upon discovering that the earth is on a collision course with another planet. Dunst landed the lead role of Justine after Oscar-winning actress Penelope Cruz backed out to star in Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.

Melancholia costars Keifer Sutherland (Mirrors), Charlotte Gainsbourg (Antichrist), Udo Kier (Halloween), Charlotte Rampling (Never Let Me Go), Alexander Skarsgaard (“True Blood”), and Stellan Skarsgaard (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo).


Naughty Christmas Stripper Wants You to Ask Santa for ‘The Last Exorcism’


Producer Eli Roth’s supernatural frightener The Last Exorcism is set to arrive on DVD and Blu-ray in the States on Jan. 4 (Dec. 27 in the U.K.). To promote the home editions during the holiday season, Lionsgate has released a sexy clip featuring one of Santa’s naughty little helpers performing a little striptease for your viewing pleasure.

If you’ve been good, take a look:

Directed by Daniel Stamm (A Necessary Death), The Last Exorcism employs shaky-cam techniques to capture an evangelical minister’s last exorcism in documentary fashion. The film stars Ashley Bell, Patrick Fabian (Pig), Iris Bahr (The Poughkeepsie Tapes), Jamie Alyson Caudle (Jonah Hex), Louis Herthum (Mutants), and Tony Bentley (The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans).

Thanks to the friendly degenerates at HorrorAsylum for the clip.


Bradley Cooper Is High On Life in ‘Limitless’


Relativity Media wants you to imagine how your life would change if you could just take a pill that allows you to become the perfect you. In my case, that would mean being able to eat one of those giant 10-pound burgers I see on the Food Network.

For Bradley Cooper’s character in director Neil Burger’s Limitless (previously entitled Dark Fields), the drug allows him to go from slacker/writer to motivated rich guy. Of course, he also finds the kind of trouble that one avoids by keeping their aspirations low.

Peep the trailer:

See? I’m telling you: stick to the 10-pound burger. You won’t get to bang Abbie Cornish, but you won’t feel like jumping off a tall building.

Based on the book by Alan Glynn, Dark Fields is the story of a struggling copy-writer (Cooper) who finds financial success after stealing an experimental pharmaceutical drug called MDT-48 that makes people smarter, but slows down their perception of time.

Limitless arrives in theaters on March 18, 2011.



Little Fockers star and 2005 Playboy cover model Teri Polo is set to star in director Josef Rusnak’s (The Thirteenth Floor) abduction thriller Beyond. She joins a cast that includes Jon Voight (Transformers), Julian Morris (Sorority Row), and Dermot Mulroney (Zodiac).

Currently being shot in Alaska on a reported $10 million budget, Beyond follows a veteran detective and a television psychic as they attempt to find a missing child. Polo, still a looker at 41, will play the child’s mother, Voight’s daughter.

Polo also stars in director Joe Dante’s upcoming supernatural thriller The Hole 3-D. Her horror creds include the 2009 ghost tale The Beacon and the awesome—but short lived—Fox television series “Brimstone,” in which she played Ashur Badaktu, the damned priestess who orchestrates the escape of 113 souls from hell.


‘Drive Angry’ Director to Bring the Pain with ‘Hellraiser’ Remake!


Director Patrick Lussier and writer Todd Farmer, the mad geniuses behind 3-D thrill rides Drive Angry and My Bloody Valentine, have been tapped by Dimension Films to reboot Clive Barker’s beloved 1987 frightener Hellraiser.

Lussier tells Moviefone:

We want to pull from the world that Clive created. Specifically that’s what we wanted to do. In that original film he opened so many interesting doorways and opportunities that that’s what we want to explore– always keeping in mind what he had done and how he did it and just working within that world.

The idea was that if we’re going to do it, let’s be epic. There’s a part of this world that we’re never allowed to see because there’s never been the resources to show it, so let’s show it.

Lussier goes on to dispel rumors that the Hellraiser reboot would be teen oriented. He does not, however, confirm or deny if his Drive Angry star Amber Heard will star in the film. Here’s hoping Doug Bradley is brought back to portray Cenobite leader Pinhead.

Dimension Films has also got a straight-to-DVD Hellraiser flick coming down the pike entitled Hellraiser: Revelations. It stars former “La Femme Nikita” TV starlet Peta Wilson.

The original Hellraiser film is the only one in the franchise directed by creator Clive Barker (it was based on his novella “The Hellbound Heart”). The 57-year-old British author regrettably sold the rights to the Hellraiser universe before the first film hit theaters in 1987.