Echo Lake has released the first full-length trailer for John Carpenter’s upcoming all-girl madhouse thriller The Ward. The footage reveal headliner Amber Heard in pivotal scenes involving fire, ghosts and nude showers with sexy costars.
Peep it:
The Ward marks Carpenter’s return to the big screen since 2001’s Ghosts of Mars. The film costars Danielle Panabaker (The Crazies), Lyndsy Fonseca (“Nikita”), Mamie Gummer (“The Good Wife”), Jillian Kramer (The Big Bang), Mika Boorem (Kiss the Girls), and Jared Harris (Resident Evil: Apocalypse), Sali Sayer, and Laura-Leigh.
By Eddie Muertos on January 1st, 2011 at 11:27 pm
Category: Lists /
Tag: Sex /
2 comments
Happy New Year, degenerates!
If you’ve been surfing the websites for anything other than interracial porn over the holidays, you’ve probably seen a shitload of best-and-worst lists. Some of the more creative fright sites may have given you a countdown of the year’s best kills or a rundown of Christmas themed slashers. Well, at Clatto, we like to focus on the romantic side of horror.
The following is our list of The Ten Sexiest Horror Films of 2010 (Be sure to peep our 2012 and 2011 lists too)
Enjoy:
10. SPLICE
Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley starred as ethically-compromised geneticists who successfully splice human and animal DNA to create a hybrid female named Dren in director Vincenzo Nataliand producer Guillermo del Toro’s sci-fi creature-feature Splice.
Played by beautiful 32-year-old French actress Delphine Chanéac, Dren grows to become a bird-like creature with retractable wings, a long pointed tail, and small, supple Euro breasts.
The need to mate soon overcomes her and she sets out to seduce her “father” Dr. Clive Kast (Brody) in the film’s most disturbing—and oddly stroke-worthy—sex scene.
After.Life found pint-sized hottie Christina Ricci playing the victim of an automobile accident who awakens to find that she is being prepped for burial by a mysterious mortician determined to make her see that she has crossed over to the beyond.
Ricci, who has gone nude in Black Snake Moan and Monster, once again drops trou (well … really a slinky, little red slip) in the film, reminding us that good things do indeed come in small packages.
8. THE DISAPPEARANCE OF ALICE CREEED
British actress Gemma Arterton told GQ magazine back in March that the reason she had taken the role of Alice Creed in this low-budget abduction thriller was because she was drawn to its violence and nudity. Not surprisingly, so were we.
Along with the hypnotic swing of Arterton’s nude and natural boobs, what made this movie hot was the fact that Arterton—who had starred last year in Disney’s Prince of Persia and Warner Bros. Clash of the Titans—had already achieved the kind of Hollywood success that usually prevents attractive starlets from going nude, but here she is:
7. THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE
Because sometimes a naked girl just isn’t enough, director Tom Six’s outrageous mad-doc thriller The Human Centipede crawls into our list of stroke-worthy genre fare. The film stars pretty newcomers Ashlynn Yennie and Ashley C. Williams as unfortunate American tourists abducted by an evil German scientist hell-bent on sewing them together mouth-to-anus.
If that premise doesn’t make you horny, you’re probably a healthy individual who should not be reading this blog.
For the rest of us sick freaks, The Human Centipede was the first film in horror history to earn the often ill and overused tag of torture porn. Added kink: the human centipede’s head is a Japanese male (of course) who eventually must evacuate his bowels into Williams’ mouth.
While the scatological shenanigans may not be everyone’s cup-of-tea, the torment and tears on Williams and Yennie’s faces will prove genuinely moving for penises raised on Max Hardcore smut.
6. ANTICHRIST
Danish director/degenerate Lars von Trier’s gruesome arthouse shocker Antichrist is loaded with plenty of genuinely disturbing moments, mostly involving genital mutilations, bloody ejaculations, and Willem Dafoe’s face.
Those who can stomach it are rewarded with full-frontal nudity from 39-year-old French actress Charlotte Gainsbourg. A skillful eye and quick remote finger will also help viewers at home catch a glimpse of Gainsbourg’s balloon knot (the A-Holy Grail of nude flashes)!
5. I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE
Scenes of gang-rape and forced sodomy should never be enjoyed while watching a movie … with your girl, wife, and/or mom. If alone, however, director Steven R. Monroe’s remake of the 1978 revenge-thriller I Spit On Your Grave provides oodles of shameful masturbatory pleasure (during the first half anyway).
Newcomer Sarah Butler plays Jennifer Hill, a young novelist on a mission to maim, dismember, and murder the men who brutally and repeatedly raped her while on holiday in the woods. Like the Meir Zarchi original, the film may-or-may-not play like a feminist fantasy, but your penis will forgive you thanks to the sexualized violence and the generous helpings of Butler nudity.
4. MACHETE
Machete, Robert Rodriguez’s ode to ’70s exploitation cinema, featured Jessica Alba in an eye-popping—but regrettably tasteful—nude shower scene, hints of nipple and bottom boob from Lindsay Lohan, and a slim downed, never-before-seen sex-pot version of Michelle Rodriguez.
If that wasn’t worth the price of admission, the actioner also includes milfy babe Alicia Rachel bathing topless in a lake with Lohan and Danny Trejo and the insanely hot 24-year-old Mayra Leal in a seven-minute T&A heavy opener:
The film opened in August to rave reviews from both critics and horror fans, but inexplicably sank at the box office. Fortunately, for those of us who watch movies with our hand down our pants, Dimension is moving forward with a sequel that promises bigger thrills: Piranha 3-DD.
2. THE KILLER INSIDE ME
Director Michael Winterbottom’s film adaptation of the Jim Thompson’s 1952 novel The Killer Inside Me caused plenty of outcry upon its release last year, leading to some walkouts during the film’s festival run.
The controversial scenes included rough sex and raw, prolonged violence against its female leads, namely Kate Hudson and Jessica Alba, the latter of which gets whipped with a belt by Casey Affleck, who plays serial killer Lou Ford.
Check it out:
Thompson repeatedly defended his film by describing it as a statement against violence and yada, yada. But, he could have saved his breath. One look at Alba’s bright red tush and the only thing getting spanked is a monkey.
1. BLACK SWAN
Acclaimed director Darren Aronofsky’s new psychological thriller Black Swanstars Natalie Portman as an emotionally unstable ballet dancer convinced that she is being undermined by a sinister Sapphic troupe mate, played by Mila Kunis with sexy bad-bitch flair.
In the film, Portman is groped by Vincent Cassel during a routine and performs an intense and titillating masturbation scene, but it’s her lesbian romp with Kunis that lands the psychological thriller in the top slot. You can check it out here.
Dark Sky has cooked up a new trailer for writer/director Joe Maggio’s revenge-is-a-dish-best-served-sauteed thriller Bitter Feast, available on DVD on Jan. 4. The film follows a celebrity chef taken to the boiling point (somebody stop me) after losing his job over a particularly nasty review from some asshole food blogger.
The trailer is served. Bon appetit:
That should make you think twice about complaining over your wife’s turkey this holiday season.
Anyway, the official synopsis reads:
Notorious and influential food blogger J.T. Franks (Joshua Leonard) writes a particularly vicious review that doesn’t sit well at all with its subject, Peter Grey (James LeGros), a chef whose career is already on a down slide and may not survive this latest blow.
So the temperamental, egotistical chef concocts an elaborate and deadly revenge scheme. Grey kidnaps Franks and chains him in a remote cabin in the woods, where he forces him to prepare deceptively simple dishes – from eggs over easy to medium-rare steak – then tortures him sadistically for anything less than perfection.
A tense thrill-ride prepared with wicked wit and culinary flare, BITTER FEAST is an exploration of the creative impulse gone tragically and ferociously awry.
Bitter Feast is produced by Glass Eye Pix and costars Amy Seimetz, producer Larry Fessenden (House of the Devil), and “Iron Chef” Mario Batali. The film premiered at the Los Angeles Film Festival to a healthy helping of positive reviews.
Spanish actress Norma Ruiz stars as a woman out to find her missing coworker in director José Luis Alemán’s Lovecraftian thriller La Herencia Valdemar II: La Sombra Prohibida (gringo translation: Inheritance Valdemar II: The Shadow Prohibited).
Peep the trailer:
The film’s official synopsis reads:
4 days ago: Luisa Llorente, a farm appraiser, had the formidable task of going to evaluate the home of Lazarus Valdemar, but she’s not been heard from. Two expeditions go out in search of her: first is Nicholas Tramel, a detective hired by Maximilian Colvin, head of Inmoverance, the company Luisa works for, and the other comprised of coworkers Ana and Eduardo, who travel by car with the idea of joining forces with the detective, but something happens.
Man, I hate it when something happens. It reminds me of the time I set out to assassinate John Ritter, but something happened. You gotta give the Spanish credit; they sure know how to keep plot points close to the vest.
Norma Ruiz starred in Alemán’s original La Herencia Valdemar. The 30-year-old Madrid-born stunner made her name on the Spanish soap “Yo Soy Bea.”
La Herencia Valdemar II: La Sombra Prohibida costars Silvia Abascal, Laia Marull, Danielle Liotti, Oscar Jaenada, Ana Risueno, Santi Prego and Jose Olmedo. It opens in Spain on Jan. 28.
Porn star Jasmine St. Claire may have hung up her g-string a decade ago, but that doesn’t mean she can’t take on a few more stiffs. The notorious one-time gang-bang record holder (World’s Biggest Gang Bang 2) is now set to star in writer/director Kevin Orosz’s zombie frightener Blood Lodge.
The skinny as explained by Orosz:
A zombie attack happens in the fictional town of Ten Acres while a group of friends travel for a ski weekend. The group unites with other guests staying at the Ten Acres Lodge and tries to stay alive by fighting the zombies. ‘Blood Lodge’ is like ‘Zombie Land’ meets ‘Dazed and Confused’ mixed with the 1970s grindhouse movies.
Production on the film—which costars “The Sopranos'” Vincent “Big Pussy” Pastore—is slated for March in Stowe, Vermont. No word on what St. Claire’s role will be in the picture, but—if played to her strengths—it should involve blowing flames out of her ass and performing the world’s first and biggest zombie gang-bang.
St. Claire claimed the record for world’s biggest gang-bang from Annabel Chong in 1996, taking on a reported 300 men in one day. Despite rival cock-monkey Houston shattering that record in 1999 (over 600 dudes!) , St. Claire remained a fan-fav by destroying her anus in films such as Jasmine’s Last Gang Bang and Blow It Out Your Ass.
For her suffering, she will be inducted into the AVN Hall of Fame in 2011.
By Eddie Muertos on December 30th, 2010 at 10:15 am
Category: Trailers /
Tags: no tag / Add Comment
“True Blood” shapeshifter Lindsay Pulsipher stars as a woman trapped in her boyfriend’s artsy-fartsy ode to David Lynch in The Oregonian, the feature film debut of writer/director and aforementioned boyfriend Calvin Lee Reeder. The film will debut at next month’s Sundance Film Festival in Park City, Utah.
Folks at Twitch got the trailer. Take a look:
The film’s Sundance synopsis reads:
There is a place. A place where the skies are wide and the forests are thick—and strange. You can lose yourself forever in these woods. You’ll meet truckers with problems and old women with strange powers. You may even make a furry friend. Just be sure to stay quiet.
Spend some time with a woman from Oregon who is lost on the road and running away from her past. Now she has a chance to experience everything the grotesque Northwest has to offer, whether she likes it or not.
Pulsipher has made appearances on ABC’s “FlashForward” and Showtime’s “Masters of Horrors,” but is best known for her turn as werepanther Crystal Norris on season three of the hit HBO vampire series “True Blood.”
South African model-turned-actress Tanit Phoenix and her glorious breasts are set to get your motor running on Jan. 18 with the release of Universal’s Death Race: Frankenstein Lives, the straight-to-DVD prequel to 2008’s Jason Statham vehicle.
Phoenix plays Katrina Banks, an ex-military sniper doing time for killing her superior officer. In the following clip, the 29-year-old babe talks about her character, her unique name, and yada yada while her boobs do all the hard work in skimpy tops.
Peep it, yo:
Death Race: Frankenstein Lives costars Luke Goss, Sean Bean, Ving Rhames, Lauren Cohan, and Hollywood’s hardest working Mexi-can Danny Trejo. Universal has already announced plans for a third Death Race installment.
Up next for Phoenix is the role of narrator on HBO’s sexy new 13-part mystery series “Femme Fatales,” an Americanized version of Univision’s “Mujeres Asesinas (Murderous Women).” Phoenix is also rumored to be in the running for the role of Wonder Woman in writer/producer David E. Kelly’s TV adaptation of DC Comics’ beloved Amazonian heroine.
If you need your Phoenix fix now, however, you can catch the 5-foot-9 stunner dwarfing Corey Feldman in Lost Boys: The Thirst.
Yvonne Zima (sister to “Californication’s” resident bad girl Madeline) broke into Hollywood at the age of five playing Dr. Mark Greene’s daughter Rachel on the long-running NBC medical drama “ER.” Now 21, the acting vet finally looks like someone we’d definitely play doctor with, and by play doctor we, of course, mean slice-and-dice.
That’s where Passion River Films come in. The studio has cast Zima as the female lead in newbie director Sage Bannick’s upcoming serial killer frightener The Absent. The New Jersey born actress will play Katie Anderson, a high school student engaged in an affair with her teacher and a game of cat-and-mouse with his homicidal brother.
Produced by Chris Siverston (I Know Who Killed Me), The Absent arrives on DVD on March 15. However, if you live near one of the following theaters, you could catch it on the big screen during its limited run starting on Jan. 7.
Peep the dates and locations:
Jan. 7 – Seattle WA, Ethnic Cultural Theater
Jan. 8 – Wenatchee WA, Liberty Theater
Jan. 9 – Omak WA, Mirage Theater
Jan. 10 – Ellensburg WA, – Central Washington University
Jan. 11 – Moscow ID, – Kenworthy Performing Arts Centre
Jan. 12 – Spokane WA, Magic Lantern Theater
Jan. 13 – Twisp WA, Twisp River Pub
Jan. 14 – Eugene OR, Bijou Theater
Jan. 15 – LA CA, Sweetwater Theater
Jan. 16 – San Jose CA, Hensely Theater
Here we have former “Firefly” starlet Summer Glau in a promo shot for her upcoming NBC superhero series “The Cape,” premiering Jan. 9. The petite 29-year-old Texas stunner plays a crime fighting blogger named Orwell out to bring down corrupt corporations and aid a framed cop-turned-costumed-hero find justice.
She tells Digital Spy:
I’m so technically deficient. I can barely turn my computer on, so it’s really fun for me to play somebody who has all the latest gadgets and has access to the most cutting edge cars.
She’s always cutting her own path. She’s three steps ahead of everybody else. She obviously has a higher calling and what she’s trying to do is selfless in a way, but it’s also very personally charged.
And then, on the other end, she’s driving these gorgeous cars and she has beautiful clothes to wear and she’s always got a new lair. She’s fighting crime, but she likes to look good too.
The show’s two-hour pilot episode is directed by Simon West (Lara Croft: Tomb Raider) and stars David Lyons as Vince Faraday, AKA The Cape. Costars include James Frain (“True Blood”), Keith David (Chain Letter), Jennifer Ferrin (“As the World Turns”), and the insanely hot Izabella Miko (Athena in Clash of the Titans).
TNT has released the first official trailer for its upcoming Steven Spielberg-produced “Walking Dead”-but-with-aliens television series “Falling Skies.” The show stars model-turned-actress Moon Bloodgood (Terminator: Salvation), 19-year-old newcomer Seychelle Gabriel (The Last Airbender), and sexy Canuck Sarah Carter (DOA: Dead or Alive).
Peep it:
Hmm. My knack for the obvious is telling me that “ER’s” Noah Wyle may be the actual star of this show and not any of the hot actresses mentioned above. Well, I guess, as long as Carter doesn’t end up moving to Africa in season 10, all should be OK.
“Falling Skies” is set to premiere in June with a pilot episode penned by Oscar nominated writer Robert Rodat (Saving Private Ryan). Verheiden and Greg Beeman (“Smallville”) are co-executive producing the project.
