The Twilight Saga star Robert Pattinson announces in the March issue of Details magazine (available Feb. 23) that he has a strong aversion to vaginas. In the interview, the 23-year-old cock-gobbler actor complains about having to be stuck at a photo shoot with nude fashion models.
He says:
I really hate vaginas. I’m allergic to vagina. But I can’t say I had no idea, because it was a 12-hour shoot, so you kind of get the picture that these women are going to stay naked after, like, five or six hours. But I wasn’t exactly prepared. I had no idea what to say to these girls. Thank God I was hungover.
In related news, millions of tween girls have now sewn up their pussies and are waiting to die.
Vaginas. Why did it have to be vaginas?
I do wonder, however, if Pattinson has always hated vaginas or was it Kristen Stewart’s baby-hole that has him running scared? Judging from her slovenly appearance in media photos, I imagine she has Buckwheat in a headlock down there.
Check out the following pictures of Pattinson and the offending vaginas:
Is busty actress Thora Birch a part-time prostitute in real life? An interesting blind item (translation: unconfirmed gossip) circulating the web seems to think so.
This Golden Globe nominee/winner actress is probably C list. Despite the Golden Globe nod and being in one of the more famous movies of the past 20 years, she doesn’t get much attention. She does however have a very, very kinky sex life. She has been known to hire herself out as an escort for the night. She doesn’t do it for money. She does it for the thrill. She uses different photos in her ad and will throw on a wig when she goes to see the client. It probably would have stayed a secret except her loser ex-boyfriend who she supported has a big mouth.
According to those speculating on the site’s message board, the actress in question is most likely 27-year-old American Beauty starlet Thora Birch. The fact that TMZ hasn’t broke this story makes me think it’s crap, but the idea that Birch is renting out those fun bags is just too awesome to not jerk-of to think about.
American Beauties
Birch, whose parents were porn star degenerates during the ’70s (among their credits: Deep Throat), was nominated for a Golden Globe award for her performance in the 2001 dramedy Ghost World, costarring Scarlett Johansson. Since then, she has been slumming it in the straight-to-DVD market, appearing in Dark Corners, Train and the Brittany Murphy vehicle Deadline.
A 2007 Celebrity Gossip report provides a stroke-worthy disturbing aside to this story:
The American Beauty star was filming “The Winter of Frozen Dreams” when manager/father Jack Birch insisted on watching the filming of her sex scenes with Dean Winters. Even though it is industry standard to only film sex scenes on a closed set, Birch Sr. demanded to be present during the “getting freaky” times. Apparently the crew on the set was absolutely horrified. “It was so wrong,” said one insider. “The director is saying, ‘Harder! Faster!’ and the father is giving Winters the thumbs up.
Hmm. Questionable parenting. Career in the dumps. Could this story be true?
By Eddie Muertos on February 15th, 2010 at 8:25 am
Category: Events /
Tag: Star Wars /
1 comment
Jedi and padawans engaged in a lightsaber battle royal this weekend at the Bristols Cabot Circus mall in Bristol, England. The event drew over 100 ____ (pick one: A. Virgins B. Misfits C. Super lucky Star Wars fans).
Check out the action:
This just looks like a freaking blast to me. Sadly, the British wankers participating are about as vicious as a group of nerf-herders. If I had been there, I would have totally unleashed Order 66 on their limey asses.
Want more Star Wars fun? Check out these Star Wars Strippers or learn about weather conditions in the SW galaxy here.
The air in Canoga Park was thick with teeny-bopper pheromones this evening as the cast of the CW’s hit television series “The Vampire Diaries” swooped inside the Westfield Topanga Mall to meet-and-greet fans of the show.
(UPDATE: Want to meet the cast of “The Vampire Diaries” at Paleyfest 2010? Click here for more info)
Tween-retailer Hot Topic hosted the event which brought “Diaries” stars Nina Dobrev, Paul Wesley, and Ian Somerhalder face-to-acne-riddled-face with thousands of loyal viewers. Much to my dismay, I could not attend the event because I have a penis.
However, my good friend Girard from Hills of Woodland made it down to the signing in hopes of having Somerhalder autograph his chest, which coincidentally is adorned with a Dharma Initiative tattoo (Somerhalder played Boone on the ABC sci-fi series “LOST”).
Girard writes:
It looked to me like everyone was pretty excited, and the people coming out of Hot Topic with autographs and such seemed very pleased. I didn’t get to see any of the cast members myself, which is a bummer. I didn’t stick around for A Fine Frenzy’s performance, but hopefully it went well.
“The Vampire Diaries” is writer-producer Kevin Williamson’s (Scream, “Dawson’s Creek”) adaptation of L.J. Smith’s popular novel series of the same name for the CW television network. The show follows high-schooler Elena Gilbert as she’s courted by two vampire brothers.
MTV kicks off its new “Saturday Night Horror” program tonight at 10 p.m. with a presentation of director Jaume Collet-Serra’s (Orphan) House of Wax remake. The film stars Elisha Cuthbert, Paris Hilton, Chad Michael Murray, Brian Van Holt, Jared Padalecki, Jon Abrahams and Robert Richard.
House of Wax got pretty lousy reviews when it hit theaters back in 2005, but it’s actually a pretty good movie to watch on TV (unless the good parts are seriously edited). The kills are violent. The story is engaging enough. And, the pacing is just right.
No nudity, sadly, from Cuthbert and Hilton (not that MTV would show that anyway), but they look hot anyway. Hilton haters will also get a kick out of her brutally sweet death scene.
CBS has announced that actress Beau Garrett will play the female lead in their currently untitled “Criminal Minds” spinoff series. Garret will play a tough FBI rookie agent named Gina under the employ of Forest Whitaker’s rogue agent Cooper. Her character will be introduced during an episode of “Criminal Minds” in the spring.
Garrett’s film creds include the superhero blockbuster 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer and the indie survival-horror gem Turistas, costarring Olivia Wilde. She and Wilde can also be seen in Disney’s upcoming reboot Tron: Legacy, due out in Dec.
The “Criminal Minds” spinoff is scheduled to debut in the fall with Richard Shepard directing from a script by Chris Mundy.
Scream of the Bikini is a kitschy ode to the spy films of the ’60s. Directed by Fernando Fernandez, if that is his real name (According to IMDB it’s not), the film follows two supermodels-turned-spies on their bikini-clad quest to bring down terrorist outfit S.I.A.D.
While I am a huge fan of bikinis, I don’t really care for these type of flicks. That’s not to say Scream of the Bikini sucks. Judging by the film’s trailer and website, it’s apparent a lot of effort has gone into producing something fun for fans of its genre. What’s caught my attention, however, is the casting of actress Kelsey Wedeen.
Fans of the After Dark’s annual 8 Films to Die For film-fest may recognize Wedeen as one of the leads in the 2007 entry Lake Dead. The 30-year-old California native can also be seen in the straight-to-DVD frighteners The Curse of the Forty-Niner, where she starred opposite Jeff Conoway and Karen Black, and the survival-horror indie Detour.
While none of these films is very good, Wedeen displays believable acting talent and is pretty damn easy on the eyes. In other words, exactly the kind of hot chick you serial-killers-in-training love to see tormented. Let’s hope her next project finds her back in peril … preferably while in a bikini.
Scream of the Bikini begins its limited theatrical run on Feb. 19.
Anchor Bay Entertainment has secured the North American distribution rights to director Michael Feifer’s (Drifter: Henry Lee Lucas) Abandoned, starring the late Brittany Murphy. The low-budget thriller stars Murphy as a woman frantically trying to find her boyfriend after he disappears from a hospital during a routine procedure.
Perhaps anticipating a few raised eyebrows, Anchor Bay president Bill Clark spins the purchase this way:
Releasing this young actress’s last film is both an honor and bittersweet. It was important to Anchor Bay that the timing of this release be right, because we’re sensitive to such a tragic loss. However, we also recognize that Brittany’s fans will want to see her amazing work.
Abandoned is slated for a summer release and costars Dean Cain (“Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman”), Peter Bogdanovich, Kristen Kerr (Flight of the Living Dead: Outbreak on a Plane), and busty straight-to-DVD queen Mimi Rogers (Penny Dreadful).
Murphy was found dead on Dec. 20 in the bathroom of her Los Angeles home. The L.A. County Coroner concluded that the 32-year-old actress’ death was a result of “community acquired pneumonia,” iron deficiency anemia, and multiple drug intoxication.
Megan Fox’s (Jennifer’s Body, Transformers) commercial for Armani brand women’s underwear is now circulating TV and the web. The spot features Fox in nothing but her unmentionables, but was shot in black-and-white to help you feel less pervy.
We’ve all heard actor Christian Bale’s (American Psycho, The Dark Knight)notorious rant against a film crew member on the set of Terminator: Salvation. We’ve all read about the assault charges his mom brought forth against him (they were dropped). Now, a dead man has been discovered underneath the home Bale rented while working in New Mexico last year.
Could the hotheaded actor really have gone all Patrick Bateman on a motherfucker?
Police don’t seem to think so.
According to their investigation, Michael Snyder had been missing for eight years. His body was found this week buried underneath the home Bale rented in Albuquerque, New Mexico while working on Terminator: Salvation. Snyder’s ex-wife has been arrested for the murder.
