2011
05.26

Daniella-Burlando-Slutty-Bikini-Clockwork

Daniella Burlando is a boner-inducing model/actress from Venezuela on whom I can’t find the slightest bit of info, including movie creds. But, judging from the half-naked spread she did for Maxim Mexico’s May issue, it’s obvious she has an appreciation for the milk-plus and Stanley Kubrick’s 1971 controversial classic A Clockwork Orange.

That’s good enough for me.

2011
05.26

Alexandra-Breckenridge-American-Horror

Alexandra Breckenridge joins the cast of producer Ryan Murphy’s (“Nip/Tuck”) F/X pilot “American Horror Story.” The pretty 29-year-old will play the young ghost of Moira O’Hara, a woman once charged with the keep of the house in which troubled married couple Ben (Dylan McDermott) and Vivien Harmon (Connie Britton) are now living.

The pilot is written by Murphy and costars Jessica Lange as the Harmon’s nosy neighbor Constance, Dennis O’Hare as Larry the Burn Guy, Taissa Farmiga as the Harmon’s goth daughter Violet, Evan Peters as Violet’s friend Tate Langdon, and Frances Conroy as the old ghost of Moira O’Hara.

Breckenridge’s only horror creds to date are the 2002 indies Vampire Clan and Wishcraft. She is best known for her voice work on Seth MacFarlane’s “Family Guy” and for starring on The CW’s “Life Unexpected” and the short-lived F/X’s series “Dirt.”

2011
05.26

Jessica Biel Joins Kate Beckinsale in ‘Total Recall’ Reboot!

jessica_biel_hot-bikini_total-recall

Knockouts Jessica Biel (Texas Chainsaw Massacre) and Kate Beckinsale (Underworld) have officially been cast as the female leads in Sony Pictures remake of director Paul Verhoeven’s 1990 sci-fi classic Total Recall. They will play prostitute/resistance fighter Melina and double-crosser Lori Quaid, respectively.

The reboot is directed by Len Wiseman and finds Colin Farrell stepping into Arnold Schwarzenegger’s shoes as protagonist Doug Quaid, a factory worker who starts to believe he’s a spy when his real memories and those he purchased from an implanting company start to blur together.

Total Recall is set to roll camera next Monday. Costars include Bryan Cranston (”Breaking Bad”) as politico villain Vilos Cohaagen, Bill Nighy (Pirates of the Caribbean) as resistance leader Quatto, and Ethan Hawk (Daybreakers) in an undisclosed cameo.

Biel made her genre debut in Platinum Dunes’ 2003  white-knuckle remake of Tobe Hooper’s The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Roles in David S. Goyer’s Blade: Trinity, David R. Ellis’ Cellular, Neil Burger’s The Illusionist, and the Nicholas Cage sci-fi actioner Next followed.

The 29-year-old looker will next be seen in French director Pascal Laugier’s (Martyrs) English language feature film debut The Tall Man.

Photo: GQ

2011
05.25

Spend ‘Shark Night’ with Sara Paxton, Alyssa Diaz, & Katharine McPhee!

shark-night-poster

Taking a bite out of Alexandre Aja’s Piranha 3-D playbook, The Final Destination director David R. Ellis has shot a completely ridiculous creature-feature entitled Shark Night 3-D. But, unlike Aja’s awesomely gory fish-&-chicks frightener, Ellis’ effort is anchored down by a lame, teen-friendly PG-13 rating.

Still, despite the minimal gore and absolutely zero boobage from stars Sara Paxton (Last House On the Left), Katharine McPhee (The House Bunny) , and Alyssa Diaz (Red Dawn), the flick still manages to look like lots of fun.

Peep it:

2011
05.25

Estella-Warren-Drunk-Arrested

Model-turned-actress Estella Warren was arrested early Monday morning in Los Angeles after ramming into three cars while driving her Prius in a drunken rage. The sexy star of Tim Burton’s Planet of the Apes and director Susanna Lo’s upcoming bio-pic Manson Girls did not go down easy.

When initially pulled over, the 40-year-old (according to her police report) kicked the cop and attempted to flee. She was apprehended, given a sobriety test (which she failed), cuffed, and taken to the pokey. Left alone in a holding room, she slipped out of the cuffs and escaped!

Warren posted a $100,000 bond the next day and is now scheduled to appear in court on June 14. She will face charges of assault, hit and run, DUI and possibly felony escape, which could land her some prison time.

Nothing against Warren, but I’m kind of hoping she does get sent to prison so she can breakout—after beating down some guards—steal a car and go on the hunt for the one-armed man that was really driving the Prius that night.

2011
05.25

Teresa Palmer Really, Really Loves ‘Warm Bodies’

Teresa-Palmer-Warm-Body

Sexy up-and-comer Teresa Palmer is just about ready to finalize a deal to star in Summit Entertainment’s big screen adaptation of author Isaac Marion’s debut novel “Warm Bodies.” The 25-year-old Aussie stunner is in talks to play Julie, the unexpected love interest of a zombie named R (Nicholas Hoult).

Palmer tells the LA Times:

It’s a sweet zombie movie. There’s a lot of heart in the story. It’s not your typical zombie film, even though it’s set in that post-apocalyptic era. It’s a real love story. It’s a drama. The heart of the story is this strange love story between these two people: one’s a human and one’s a zombie battling with his nature. I really liked the script. It was different from things I’d read before.

It’s in negotiations at the moment. I am so excited about that. I love Nicholas Hoult. I think he’s a super talent. The Wackness is one of my favorite movies. And Jonathan Levine is directing. If all goes to plan, I’ll be shooting that in the fall.

Palmer has starred in a number of high-profile projects including the Steven Spielberg/Michael Bay produced sci-fi actioner I Am Number Four, Disney’s The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, and Ghost House’s The Grudge 2.

None of those films were all that good, however, so you may want to check Palmer out in the 2008 erotic thriller Restraint—for which she went nude—and in 2005’s insanely gruesome Wolf Creek.

2011
05.23

Viva Bianca Is Ready to Face ‘Spartacus: Vengeance”

Viva-Bianca_Ilythia_Spartacus_Vengence

Season two of the hit Starz show “Spartacus: Blood and Sand” is currently shooting in New Zealand and is officially entitled “Spartacus: Vengeance.” Actress Viva Bianca returns to the series as the manipulative, and murderous, socialite Ilithyia, last seen fleeing the bloodbath at the House of Batiatus.

Bianca tells UGO:

It’s been fascinating approaching Ilithyia this second time around, because the woman we meet at the start of season two is quite different to the bright-eyed, giggly young noble woman we first met in season one.

Ilithyia has walked the dark side and now carries with her a suitcase of demons from from her very recent times at the Ludus. When once she was the character that knew nothing else but to have everything, now she has a lot to fight against and a lot to fight for.

If you recall, by the end of season one, Ilithyia had smashed fellow socialite Licinia’s head in a fit of rage, conjured up and successfully executed a vindictive plan that saw Spartacus kill his best friend in a frivolous exhibition match, and left Lucretia to die at the hands of revolting gladiators.

There is definitely more to this character than Bianca’s stunning good looks. I, for one, can’t wait to see what her fate will be now that she’s on her own and estranged from her husband Legatus Claudius Glaber.

“Spartacus: Vengeance” is slated to premiere on Starz in Jan. 2012.

2011
05.23

Megan Fox Is a Topless Angel in ‘Passion Play’

megan_fox_topless-passion_play

Photos of a topless Megan Fox taken from the supernatural romancer Passion Play have hit the web. Fox stars opposite Mickey Rourke, Kelly Lynch and Bill Murray in the film and plays a winged-beauty held captive as a circus sideshow.

The film, currently playing in selected theaters for a limited time, was publicly declared “terrible” by Rourke. Personally, I found that comment to be incredibly unfair and disrespectful to Fox’s breasts. But, you be the judge.

Passion Play is screenwriter Mitch Glazer’s (The Recruit, Scrooged) directorial debut. It arrives on DVD and Blu-ray on May 31.

2011
05.23

Ana-de-Armas-Blind-Alley

Images from Spanish writer/director Antonio Trashorras’ El Callejon (renamed Blind Alley for gringo markets) have hit the web. The serial killer drama stars Cuban hottie Ana de Armas as a woman trapped in a laundromat by a sadistic serial killer.

The official synopsis reads:

In a tiny laundrette hidden down an alleyway, is where Rosa finds herself trapped, completely isolated and unable to escape the nightmarish situation of being attacked by a serial killer. At the break of dawn and after hours of anguish, immersed in the sadistic game of rat and mouse the killer has subjected her to, the young girl will discover something even more disturbing about the nature of her aggressor.

The Spanish-language frightener is in the vein of such trapped-in-a-confined-space thrillers as Rodrigo Cortes’ Buried (coffin), Adam Green’s Frozen (ski-lift), newcomer David Brooks’ ATM (ATM terminal), and the M. Night Shyamalan produced Devil (elevator).

Trashorras recently scripted director Eugeno Mira’s psychological-thriller Agnosia. He also cowrote Guillermo Del Toro’s 2001 ghost story The Devil’s Backbone. Armas creds include the Spanish sci-fi drama Madrigal and the internationally popular TV mystery series “El Internado (The Boarding School).”

2011
05.23

Adrianne Palicki Is Wearing ‘Wonder Woman’ Booty Shorts!

Adrianne-Palicki-Wonder-Woman-Shorts

Some bald Hills Have Eyes looking mofo tweeted the above photograph of himself with actress Adrianne Palicki sporting the star-spangled booty shorts that NBC president Robert Greenblatt had promised horny viewers they’d see this fall on the David E. Kelly “Wonder Woman” reboot.

Unfortunately, the network passed on the pilot, leaving whatever Palicki ass-cheek footage was shot to be stored forever underneath Greenblatt’s mattress.

In the tweeted pic, Palicki looks like she could have been photoshopped from the waist down. But, regardless of whether the image is fake or not, your boner is real so … you’re welcome. Just do your best to mentally block old Pluto from your fantasies.