Like the machines she fought on the canceled-much-to-soon Fox series “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles,” Summer Glau won’t be kept down. The 28-year-old actress has signed on to star in director Joe Lynch’s horror-comedy Knights of Badassdom.

Glau will play a member of a live action role-playing group who accidentally unleash a powerful demon from the depths of hell. “True Blood’s” Ryan Kwanten, Steve Zahn (Perfect Getaway), Danny Pudi (“Community”), and Peter Dinklage (Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian) costar.

The film goes into production next month in Spokane, Washington. Spectral Motion (Hellboy, X-Men) will handle creature F/X.

Glau can also been seen as a crime-fighting blogger on NBC’s upcoming superhero series “The Cape.”

A trailer for genre-doomed starlet Eliza Dushku’s (“The Dollhouse”) new film Locked In has hit the web. The clip features Dushku being bitchy and sexing it up with Chronicles of Narnia star Ben Barnes.

Take a look:

Locked In (formerly entitled Valediction) stars Barnes as a married man involved with a sexy little hussy (Dushku) who may or may not have run his family off the road, causing his daughter to suffer a condition in which her mind remains conscious while her body is in a vegetative state.

The film is directed by some Suri Krishnamma person and costars Sarah Roemer (The Grudge 2), Johnny Whitworth (Pathology), and Brenda Fricker.

Splice director Vincenzo Natali has been tapped to helm a big screen adaptation of sci-fi author William Gibson’s award-winning 1984 “cyberpunk” novel “Neuromancer.” The film will reportedly go into pre-production early next year in Toronto.

Natali tells SlashFilm:

I think when you read it now, it still feels very relevant, maybe in some ways more relevant, because so much of what it predicted has come to pass. And therefore, my approach to it would be to be very realistic.

I think that’s where my take on it and what excites me about the book will distinguish it from other films, in so much as, in my mind, Neuromancer is really about our post-human future. It’s about how we, in the future, are going to relate to machine consciousness.

In the same way that Splice is sort of a treatise on how we’re changing our bodies, Neuromancer could be a treatise on how we’re changing our minds, evolving our consciousness. I see tremendous potential for it. I actually think the time is now.

“Neuromancer” centers on a low-life computer hacker working for a shady figure in exchange for a promised cure to his crippling cyber-condition. The novel was Gibson’s first and went on to win the Nebula Award, the Philip K. Dick Award, and the Hugo Award.

The premiere for season 3 of HBO’s vampire series “True Blood” was held on Tuesday at the Cinerama Dome in Hollywood, CA.

Unfortunately, I canceled my subscription to the network after the 80th showing of Cadillac Man last week so I was not invited to the event. But, that’s OK, because other people got paid to degrade themselves on the red carpet to capture the moment photographically while I sat around playing “Uncharted 2” on my PS3 in my Vampire Diaries undies.

Michael Emerson & wife Carrie Preston

Looking at the pics, I spy with my little bloodshot eye Anna Paquin with costar and boyfriend Stephen Moyer, Alexander Skarsgard and his girl Kate Bosworth, Carrie Preston and “LOST” baddie Michael Emerson, Ryan Kwanten and his mom, Bill Paxton and his son James, Natasha Alam and her inviting rack, and Deborah Ann Woll, who didn’t look so hot at the premiere, but made Clatto’s list of Sexiest Maneater Babes.

See them and the rest of the “True Blood” cast in the following gallery (courtesy Zimbio):

[Show as slideshow]

If you felt your Jujubes tighten and your Hebrew National swell while watching French actress Delphine Chanéac portrayal of a half-human/half-bird-like-creature in director Vincenzo Natali’s controversial sci-fi frightener Splice, you’re probably wondering what the hell is wrong with you.

Relax. You’re not alone.

The following is a list of Clatto’s 11 sexiest maneaters. Bon appetite!

11. GINGER FITZGERALD (KATHARINE ISABELLE/ GINGER SNAPS, 2000)

Teen misfit sisters Ginger and Brigitte Fitzgerald enjoy fantasizing about leaving their small Canadian suburb via suicide pact, a promise they made to each other when they were eight-years-old. Ginger, the hot one of he two, is especially eager to get to the Hot Topic in the sky. That, however, changes when she’s dragged into the woods by the Beast of Baily Downs, a werewolf-creature responsible for the mutilated deaths of the townsfolk’s dogs.

Ginger is rescued by her sister Brigitte, but her body soon succumbs to the lycanthrope’s bites. She grows hair in odd places, sprouts a tail, and develops a hunger for flesh that is only rivaled by her animalistic sex drive.

Actress Katharine Isabelle scored the role of Ginger Fitzgerald in 2000 at the age of 19. She revisited the character three years later in the sequel Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed and the prequel Ginger Snaps Back: The Beginning (both shot back-to-back). Isabelle has also starred in Freddy Vs. Jason, Chris Nolan’s Insomnia, Uwe Boll’s Rampage, and the 1998 Katie Holmes’ vehicle Disturbing Behavior.

Sadly, she is notorious for turning down nude scenes and has been quoted as saying:

Everyone wants you naked. I think I’ve done one or two movies in the past six years where they haven’t tried something slimey to get me naked.

That kind of selfish attitude will only land you at #11 on our countdown, sister.

10. DAWN O’KEEFE (JESS WEIXLER/ TEETH, 2007)

While fighting off a date-rapist, pretty teen virgin Dawn O’Keefe unexpectedly castrates her assailant’s penis with her vagina.

Horrified and confused, she seeks out a doctor to diagnose what she suspects could be a Vagina Dentata (toothed vagina). The doc confirms her fears when he attempts to finger-bang Dawn under the guise of an exam and ends up losing the digits on his right hand.

Dawn goes on to learn that her ravenous vagina can be muzzled by love when she goes to bed with her friend Ryan. Unfortunately for Ryan’s cock, Dawn discovers that screwing her had been part of a wager between Ryan and his buddy, and he is soon parted from the BFF in his pants.

As Dawn’s pussy-control grows stronger, she plots revenge on her sleazy stepbrother after learning that he was part of the reason their mother died.

The role won actress Jess Weixler the Special Jury Prize for Dramatic Performance at the 2007 Sundance Film Festival. The 28-year-old has regrettably failed to score another part  as outrageous and memorable as Dawn O’Keefe, but her performance will forever remind guys to just keep asking for the butt (ain’t no such thing as an Anus Dentata).

9. DREN (DELPHINE CHANEAC/ SPLICE, 2010)

Test-tube babe Dren was created in a lab by geneticists Clive Nicoli and Elsa Kast after successfully splicing human and animal DNA together in a secret—and highly illegal—experiment.

Dren grows at an accelerated rate physically, mentally, and emotionally. She soon feels an attraction to “father” Clive and resentment towards her “mother” Elsa, setting the stage for a twisted morality play that would give Freud a boner for days.

But, back to the maneating. Though we don’t see Dren devour anyone in the film, she is a carnivore. And, considering what happens to her in the film, I’m pretty confident some peeps are gonna be grub later on (if any sequels are made).

Despite Dren’s bald head, freakish bird feet, retractable wings, and long tail (hey, at least she ain’t fat), she is oddly attractive. A big reason for that is, of course, is the casting of beautiful French actress Delphine Chanéac in the role. Splice is the 31-year-old’s U.S. feature film debut.

To see an interview with Chanéac about playing Dren, go here.

8. SARLACC PIT (RETURN OF THE JEDI, 1983)

It’s a big vagina, right?

It gobbled up Boba Fett and almost ate Lando Calrissian?

7. JULIE WALKER (MELINDA CLARKE/ RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD, 1993)

When kinky redhead Julie Walker gives her boyfriend Curt Reynolds a reach-around while barreling down a highway on his motorcycle, the duo end up getting into an accident that leaves Julie dead.

Desperate and heartbroken, Curt sets out to revive Julie with the same Trioxin gas used by his father Col. John Reynolds to reanimate corpses in top-secret military experiments. He’s successful, but soon discovers that Julie is no longer as interested in giving head as she is in eating brains, a condition that causes her great grief.

Julie, however, soon learns that she can fight off her hunger pangs with physical pain, a fortuitous little trick that allows her to not eat her boyfriend. Unfortunately, the couple doesn’t get much time to rekindle their love affair as they are being chased by military officials and the homies of a hispanic gangbanger whose head Julie ate out like a taco salad.

Played in 1993 by a then 24-year-old Melinda Clarke, Julie Walker is arguably the hottest living-dead girl in the zombie genre. Sadly, Clarke swore off horror soon after Return of the Living Dead 3 wrapped (reportedly over it being a bad experience to make), even turning down a part in Wes Craven’s original Scream.

Clarke, who played milf Julie Cooper on the Fox prime time soap “The O.C.”  from 2003-to-2007, was cast earlier this year as Kelly Donovan in the CW’s hugely successful “Vampire Diaries.” My penis is thrilled to see the 41-year-old stunner back among the living-dead.

6. GRENDEL’S MOTHER (ANGELINA JOLIE/ BEOWULF, 2007)

After her son Grendel is killed by legendary warrior Beowulf at King Hrothgar’s request, Grendel’s Mother takes revenge on the king and the remaining survivors—leaving all but Beowulf and his mate Wiglaf dead in her wake.

Enraged, Beowulf follows Grendel’s Mother back to her cave with the intent of putting her down, but is instead seduced by her nude beauty and promises of power. The scene is a departure from the epic Anglo-Saxon poem, but provides the sexiest animated images this side of Bug Bunny in a wig.

In the poem, Grendel’s Mother is described as maneating ogre and is slain by Beowulf with an ancient and magical sword. But, in this film, as portrayed by Angelina Jolie, she is a busty, high-heeled, reptilian-like siren who easily convinces Beowulf to impregnate her with a new son.

5. JESSICA HAMBY (DEBORAH ANN WOLL/ “TRUE BLOOD,” 2008)

She’ll eat your mama.

Born to a devout Christian family in Louisiana, rebellious 17-year-old spitfire Jessica Hamby is hungry for excitement. After sneaking off to Fangtasia (a bloodsucker bar) one fateful night, she is abducted to be made a vampire by Bill Compton as reparation for his murder of another vamp.

Hamby is scared shitless and pleads for her life to no avail. When she returns from the dead, she is vampire and her fears subside as she becomes aware of her supernatural powers and gets a taste of freedom for the first time.

Her impetuous nature and blood-lust make it difficult for Compton to control her. Her fang-banger boyfriend appears to have more success reigning her in up until she attacks his mother for being mean.

Sexy 25-year-old actress Deborah Ann Woll describes the character as “a child with a gun.” She tells the Toronto Sun:

To give that much power to someone so young and inexperienced — and particularly this girl, who was sheltered and abused for so long — it’s a truly dangerous prospect.

Woll, a self-described horror fan, will soon be seen opposite Josh Lucas and Terrence Howard in the New Orleans based ghost story Little Murder and in director Darren Lynn Bousman’s (Saw 3) upcoming psycho-family thriller Mother’s Day.

4. SIL (NATASHA HENSTRIDGE/ SPECIES, 1995)

A group of scientists following DNA splicing instructions given to them by an extraterrestrial species create a female alien/human hybrid named SIL.

SIL matures at an accelerated rate and becomes a danger to the scientists. They try to kill her, but she escapes from their facility and navigates her way to Los Angeles in search of a suitable mate to impregnate her. Those who don’t fit the bill, are slaughtered (seems reasonable).

(The guy’s reaction to the “I want a baby” announcement is pretty authentic … alien chick or not)

Canadian model-turned-actress Natasha Henstridge made her very naked debut with Species. She reprised the role in 1998’s Species II and briefly in 2004’s Species III.

Henstridge went on to headline the laughably bad sci-fi actioner Adrenaline: Fear the Rush and John Carpenter’s forgettable Ghosts of Mars. Species remains her biggest movie to date, having reportedly turned down the female lead in Men in Black and the role of Jill Valentine in Resident Evil: Apocalypse.

3. JENNIFER CHECK (MEGAN FOX/JENNIFER’S BODY, 2009)

Popular high-schooler Jennifer Check is left for dead in the woods after being sacrificed to Satan in exchange for stardom by emo-rockers Low Shoulder. Jennifer doesn’t die, but is instead possessed by a powerful demon.

As Jennifer’s body begins to rot, she must feed on fresh meat to revitalize her appearance and disposition. She chooses to dine on boys, but makes a fatal mistake when she sets her eyes on her best friend’s beau.

Though Jennifer’s Body lacked legs at the box office, the film was an excellent showcase for Megan Fox’s comedic talents and jaw-dropping hotness.

2. SATANICO PANDEMONIUM (SALMA HAYEK/ FROM DUSK TILL DAWN, 1996)

“Bow your head, kneel, and worship at the feet of Satanico Pandemonium.”

So commands bartender/club MC Razor Charlie as he introduces vampire-queen and Titty Twister feature dancer Satanico Pandemonium to the doomed patrons in attendance. After arguably performing the most boner-inducing table-dance in movie history (complete with six-foot-long albino Burmese python, kinky foot-play, and music by Tito & Tarantula), Satanico sets off a brutal feeding frenzy when she pounces on fugitive Richie Gecko.

Though she’s on screen for less than 10-minutes, Salma Hayek steals the movie with nothing more than her eye-popping curves, hypnotic hip grind, and sultry come-hither looks. Sadly, Hayek has yet to return to the horror genre, choosing instead to produce and star in projects that require clothes.

1. THE NAGIN (MALLIKA SHERAWAT/ HISSS, 2010)

A half-woman/half-snake creature known in Eastern folklore as the Nagin sets out to avenge the capture of her mate in India by an American hunter on holiday.

Indian actress Mallika Sherawat, known as the Marilyn Monroe of Bollywood, plays the lethal, but alluring, snake goddess. The curvy 33-year-old stunner describes her character as “very sexy, venomous and it can swallow you whole.”

Swallow you whole? That will get you the #1 slot every time!

Don’t forget to check out these lists:

The Ten Sexiest Horror Films of 2010

The 20 Hottest Women Working in Horror/Sci-Fi Today: Part Two (#10-thru-#1)

The 20 Hottest Women Working in Horror/Sci-Fi Today: Part One (#20-thr-#11)

The Ten Hottest Horror/Sci-Fi Babes of the Past Decade

12 Heroes in Horror/Sci-Fi That Won’t Make You Feel Like an Asshole

15 Vampire Movies That Won’t Make You Gay

The 5 Most Diabolical Dinners in Horror

If you enjoyed Monica Bellucci’s ass-rape-on-a-dirty-tunnel-floor scene in Irreversible, chances are there won’t be much for you to get excited about in Disney’s upcoming fantasy-adventure The Sorcerer’s Apprentice. But, let me remind you, the 45-year-old Italian stunner doesn’t star in a lot of American films—so any amount of Bellucci is good Bellucci, forced sodomy or not.

Bellucci and her gorgeous breasts play the Sorceress Veronica, love interest to sorcerer Balthazar Blake (Nicolas Cage). The film is loosely based on the “Sorcerer’s Apprentice” sequence in Disney’s classic Mickey Mouse epic Fantasia (hence the brooms and flood).

Bellucci was named one of Clatto’s Ten Hottest Horror/Sci-Fi Babes of the Past Decade. Her creds include Terry Gilliam’s The Brothers Grimm and the Wachowski Brother’s Matrix: Reloaded and Matrix: Revolutions.

Porn star Belladonna is set to make her mainstream film debut in director John Wildman’s post-feminist survival-frightener Stripped. She joins a cast that includes Farah White (The Final), Michael Guarnera (The House that Jack Built), Samrat Chakrabarti, and scream-queen vet Tiffany Shepis (Night of the Demons).

Stripped centers on two brothers and a friend whose night of partying comes to a dreadful end when they find themselves trapped in a house occupied by a family of homicidal, man-hating women.

Fans expecting Belladonna to gag chicks with her fists while jamming medical instruments in their holiest of holies may be in for a surprise. Bella will play the role of Ginger, a newcomer among the women who may have an agenda of her own. I’m guessing that means she will be the captive’s only hope for survival (perhaps she was at the dyke-house to avenge the death of a brother/boyfriend?).

Says Wildman:

She was someone that Justina and I had in mind as a ‘dream choice’ for this role from the moment we began thinking about casting. She has an innate openness and warmth that you can’t help but be drawn to. It will be a thrill to introduce her to a whole new audience and re-introduce her to Belladonna’s legion of loyal fans.

Stripped begins production this fall in Dallas.

Belladonna has reportedly starred in over 300 XXX titles. She also produces hardcore smut through her company Belladonna Entertainment.

MORTAL KOMBAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

An eight-minute short film for director Kevin Tancharoen’s Mortal Kombat: Rebirth has hit the web. The dark and ultra-violent short provides real-world origin stories for killers Reptile and Baraka, and introduces Michael Jai White (Sucker Punch) as Jax and Jeri Ryan (“Star Trek Voyeur”) as Sonya Blade.

The clip also gives us a glimpse at Scorpion and includes a balls-out fight between Johnny Cage and Baraka. This is good shit.

Check it out:

While there is no official word on whether Warner Bros. will move forward with a Hard-R film adaptation of Midway’s popular Mortal Kombat arcade fighter, the studio did announce its plans to relaunch the franchise earlier this year (pending legal disputes).

Personally, I think this short alone has already pulled a fatality move on the 1995 adaptation by Paul W.S. Anderson.

Ever sat in a theater during a movie and wondered if you had what it takes to be a hero? If shit hit the fan, would you fight the monster and steer the ship to safety? Would you save the girl and outrun the fireball? Would you go back for that fallen comrade who is infected with a viral disease?

Yeah, I didn’t think so either.

If some deranged killer murdered my loved ones as I watched, I wouldn’t tie on a cape and scour the streets for villains. Nor would I dive into the fiery pits of hell to save humankind (good luck getting me to leave the house when it’s over 80 degrees outside).

If Morpheus had asked me to choose between the red pill of truth or the blue pill of ignorance, I would have popped the blue and sat back to watch HBO. Does that make me an asshole?

Thankfully, not all movie heroes are goody-two-shoe showoffs or tormented avengers. Some are just guys like you and me, looking to make it through the day with a little bit of stripper-money.

The following is a list of horror, sci-fi, and fantasy heroes guaranteed not to make you feel like an asshole. They are ranked in order of relatability.

12. CAPT. MALCOLM REYNOLDS (NATHAN FILLION, “FIREFLY,” SERENITY)

“Browncoat” Malcolm Reynolds, a platoon sergeant in the 57th Overlanders, fought in the Unification Wars against the Alliance, a governing union formed by the U.S. and China to control a new star system in the year 2517.

Reynolds’ side lost. But, rather than bow down to the powers that be, he bought himself a ship (the Serenity), put together a crew, and lived outside the system as a goods smuggler.

Bucking the system to make your own way is never easy, but teaming up with free-thinkers (your drinking buddies) and arming yourselves with guns makes it a lot easier.

11. SCOTT PILGRIM (MICHAEL CERA, SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD)

Awkward geek and aspiring musician Scott Pilgrim must defeat his paramour’s seven evil ex-boyfriends in arcade-styled battles to maintain access to her vaginal charms.

His foes will include vegan rockers, twisted twins, lesbian ninjas, and skateboarders.

While that’s quite an interesting roster of former beaus, they’re not nearly as frightening as your girlfriend’s ex’s: herpes carrier, second-generation cousin, and donkey-dicked black guy.

10. DET. DAVID CREEGAN (JEFFREY DONOVAN, “TOUCHING EVIL”)

After taking a bullet to the head, Det. David Creegan loses the part of his brain that provides him with common sense and impulse control. His erratic behavior alienates those around him and makes it difficult for his coworkers to tolerate him, despite the fact that he remains the best dick on the force.

While the short-lived series, produced by the Hughes Brothers (Book of Eli, From Hell), revolved around apprehending vicious criminals, I believe Creegan’s condition was a metaphor for all of us who drink heavily on the job.

9. WESLEY GIBSON (JAMES MCAVOY, WANTED)

A hero for the Dilbert set, Wesley Gibson transforms from meek office-drone and cuckold (his live-in girlfriend is fucking his best friend) to elite assassin with supernatural abilities when he meets the aptly named Fox (Angelina Jolie), an insanely gorgeous, but emotionally scarred, femme fatal who takes him under her wing.

While chances are there is absolutely nothing remotely special about you, Wesley shows us that all you need is a psycho-bitch girlfriend with daddy issues to make you feel like a superman.

8. ASH WILLIAMS (BRUCE CAMPBELL, EVIL DEAD TRILOGY)

In the span of three Evil Dead films, Ash had his sister raped by evil trees, beheaded his girlfriend with a shovel, amputated his hand while battling possession, and led King Arthur’s men against the armies of darkness in Medieval England.

And, through it all, he remained groovy.

Ash was never meant to be a hero and it shows. Easily rattled, put-upon, and rash (“Clatto, Verata, … Necktie!”), he succeeds through trial-and-error—lots of error. And, that’s what makes him a man, dammit!

7. TALLAHASSEE (WOODY HARRELSON, ZOMBIELAND)

Unlike Ash, Tallahassee loves slaughtering the undead about as much as he loves Twinkies. Be it with a shotgun or a banjo, he delivers every deathblow with such gusto it make us wish we were living in a zombie apocalypse.

Tallahassee reminds us that the best way to survive all of life’s hardships is to simply employ the old idiom “When life hands you Snowballs, kill something.”

6. DEXTER MORGAN (MICHAEL C. HALL, “DEXTER”)

Killing is Dexter Morgan’s business. When he’s not analyzing blood-splatter for the Miami Metro Police Department, he’s wrapping fuckers up in plastic and hacking their bodies to pieces.

Admit it. In the course of any given day, you will daydream about killing certain people. Maybe it’s your wife, the kids, the guy driving too slow in front of you, the guy driving to fast behind you, your ungrateful boss, the coworker that texts while attempting to carry on a conversation with you, or that asshole cop that doesn’t seem to understand that you really do drive better when you’re drunk.

By the time you make it home to watch “Dexter”, you’re thirsty for blood and hungry to see some deserving ass-clowns get their comeuppances. Of course, Morgan’s code only allows him to target other serial killers. But, that’s OK. Every hero has his flaws.

5. FOX “SPOOKY” MULDER (DAVID DUCHOVNY, “THE X-FILES”)

While most FBI agents focus their time on finding missing kids and terrorist cells (yawn), Fox Mulder searched for the truth … and porn. As head of The X-Files, Mulder often chased his own tail while trying to uncover government conspiracies and investigate paranormal activity. The cases were often frightening and always frustrating for our hero.

Mulder eased his tension by watching skin-flicks and flirting with his better-looking-as-the-seasons-passed partner Dana Scully. But, his determination to find the truth about UFOs and government cover-ups eventually led to his own abduction, imprisonment, and the God-awful movie sequel X-Files: I Want to Believe.

If we can learn one thing from Mulder, it is to not take our jobs too seriously. Yes, the truth is out there—but, so are girl-on-donkey sex videos.

4. JAMES “SAWYER” FORD (JOSH HOLLOWAY, “LOST”)

Conman James “Sawyer” Ford is good-looking, charming, and courageous—everything your wife/girlfriend wishes you were. So, why is he on this list? Because those traits are just part of a long con. Underneath that easy-going cowboy exterior is an impulsive, short-tempered man who wants to do good, but realizes doing such often ends with a kick to the teeth. Starting to sound like someone ya know yet, doc?

Sure, by the series finale, Sawyer had matured into a still-flawed, but caring, leader and found redemption through his unfaltering love for soul-mate Juliette. But, before then, he killed the man responsible for his parents’ murder-suicide, kept guns, meds, and porn from his fellow castaways, murdered the guy that blew up his raft (Tom Friendly), and bedded Jack’s girl Kate.

And, he still got into heaven.

3. HAN SOLO (HARRISON FORD, ORIGINAL STAR WARS TRILOGY)

As a former-smuggler/gambler who’s not afraid to shoot first, Han Solo is the antithesis of goody-two-shoes Luke Skywalker. His involvement with the rebel alliance only came forth as a means to get paid—first to take Obi-Wan & Luke to Alderaan, and then to rescue Princess Leia.

Of course, his involvement with Leia soon led him to partake in rebel plots to overthrow the Empire, which subsequently left him frozen in carbonite in The Empire Strikes Back and, worse, subjected him to singing Ewoks in Return of the Jedi . But, if you’ve seen Leia rock a metal-bikini, you know he did it all for the wookie nookie.

Every guy does things he knows he shouldn’t to get some leg. It may not involve navigating the Millennium Falcon through a sea of Imperial fleets or fighting off stormtroppers with your dog, but sitting next to your girl at the latest Amanda Seyfried rom-com counts.

2. CAPT. JACK SPARROW (JOHNNY DEPP, PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN TRILOGY)

Captain Jack Sparrow is a pirate in a Disney movie so murder and rape are absent from his repertoire. But, that doesn’t mean the old salty stays out of trouble.

A womanizer and a drunk, Sparrow’s adventures are usually triggered by reckless fancy. In the span of three films, he has lost his ship (The Black Pearl), his mind, and even his soul. But, of course, he always comes out on top … and with some good drinking stories to boot.

And, that’s the lesson Sparrow teaches us: Taking chances and being heroic is always best to do when you’re too drunk to make proper judgment calls.

1. HUGO “HURLEY” REYES (JORGE GARCIA, “LOST”)

After being tormented for years by bad luck, insanity, ghost-whispering, and Sawyer’s fat-jokes, Hurley finally ascended to hero status as protector of the island in the series finale of “LOST.” And, he did so without dropping a single pound of weight!

Despite being surrounded by good looking guys (Sawyer, Boone), tough guys (Locke, Sayid), and smart guys (Jack, Faraday), Hurley proved that sometimes all it takes to be a hero is, like, compassion, dude.

So, skip the gym, burn all your books, and go on and enjoy a bag of Doritos with a bucket of ranch dressing.  Just be good to those around you, Jumbotron.

And, don’t forget to check out these lists:

The Ten Sexiest Horror Films of 2010

The 20 Hottest Women Working in Horror/Sci-Fi Today: Part Two (#10-thr-#1)

The 20 Hottest Women Working in Horror/Sci-Fi Today: Part One (#20-thru-#11)

The 11 Sexiest Maneater Babes in Horror/Sci-fi

The 10 Hottest Horror/Sci-Fi Babes of the Past Decade

15 Vampire Movies That Won’t Make You Gay

The 5 Most Diabolical Dinners in Horror

Oscar-winning actress Hilary Swank is set to star in horror legend John Carpenter’s adaptation of “60 Minutes” producer-turned-author John Marks’ vampire novel “Fangland.”

Swank will star as Evangeline Harker, a news show producer sent to Romania to meet with a notorious crime boss who may have ties to vampires.

Swank’s additional horror/sci-fi creds include The Reaping, The Black Dahlia, The Core, The Gift, and Hammer Films’ upcoming thriller The Resident.

Fangland follows The Ward as Carpenter’s second go around  in the director’s chair since 2001’s poorly received Ghosts of Mars.

Carpenter fans would also do well to check out the documentary Tales from the Script, a collection of candid interviews with many of Hollywood’s screenwriters, including Carpenter, Frank Darabont (“The Walking Dead,” The Mist), David Hayter (Watchmen, X-Men), William Goldman (Misery, The Stepford Wives), Larry Cohen (Captivity, Maniac Cop), Guinevere Turner (American Psycho, BloodRayne), and many more.