The new year is upon us and with that comes time for reflection. Our annual list of The 10 Sexiest Horror Films honors the fright flicks that get you off in that weird and disturbed way that will one day land you on your own list… as a registered sex offender.
But, while you’re free to roam the streets and internet, enjoy our list of the Top 10 Sexiest Horror Films of 2015. This year’s compilation offers quite a diverse group of movies — from the critically acclaimed to globally panned and from giant blockbusters to bargain bin DVD.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
10. I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE: VENGEANCE IS MINE
While some guys may find a pipe sledgehammered into their rectum as experimental fun, I Spit On Your Grave: Vengeance Is Mine is a tough sell for our annual list of Sexiest Horror Movies… and, yet, here it sits inducing knee-crossing, ball-retracting horror.
Unlike director Steven R. Monroe’s first two entries in the I Spit On Your Grave reboot, the third lacks the excessive and shameful, but oddly arousing, non-consensual thrills that made them high-ranking favs on our previous lists.
What it does have is the return of Sarah Butler, reprising the role of gang-rape survivor Jennifer Hills from the 2010 remake. Butler is in top form, both physically and acting-wise if you’re into that sort of thang. She goes nude, baring brief but glorious T&A, along her newfound quest to maim and murder sex predators.
09. NINA FOREVER
Nina Forever is a British horror-comedy about a fellow who is absolutely distraught when his hot girlfriend, Nina, dies in a violent automobile accident. He begins to heal when a new woman enters his life and they fall in love. This disturbs Nina’s spirit and she appears to the couple during their sexual exploits to viciously taunt them.
While that may sound problematic, a threesome is a threesome to us! Fiona O’Shaughnessy (Malice in Wonderland) toplines as Nina and Abigail Hardingham (”Hollyoaks Later”) plays new girlfriend Holly. Both deliver quality nude-acting throughout.
08. IT FOLLOWS
Promiscuous teens relishing in their blooming sexuality are often subdued by a machete to the head in horror films, but writer/director David Robert Mitchell’s acclaimed supernatural thriller It Follows introduces a sexually transmitted specter to spoil its horny teens’ shenanigans.
Maika Monroe plays a pretty 19-year-old haunted by a malevolent force passed on to her after a sexual encounter. Her lover explains she must keep the fuck chain going or face imminent demise. There’s plenty of scantily clad lady skin to get temperatures rising and Monroe’s vulnerability is kinda hot as the tormented, plain Jane protagonist.
07. MAD MAX: FURY ROAD
Charlize Theron has seen better days, but George Miller’s Mad Max: Fury Road revved up the sexy with performances by fashion models Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Riley Keough, Abbey Lee Kershaw, Courtney Eaton, and Zoe Kravitz. The ladies played Immortan Joe’s wives, rescued by Theron’s Furiosa.
The “wives” don’t go nude, but that first shot of them in the dessert removing their chastity belts from their firm and slender, scantly clad bodies is unforgettably hot and beautiful. They stick around for the movie’s length too, providing eye candy to an already gorgeous piece of action cinema.
“Angel” and “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” star Charisma Carpenter goes very nude in TheAsylum’s Bound, a Fifty Shades of Grey knockoff about a sexually repressed MILF who discovers the BDSM lifestyle at the hands of a younger man. Most reviews describe it to be a horrible film, but it’s actually awesome.
Carpenter — now in her 40s and looking amazing — is naked throughout the movie and degraded time and time again, including in a scene where she’s made to wear remote controlled vibrating panties in front of important business partners. Her sadistic master also playswith her daddy issues and bangs her hot 17 yo daughter!
05. THE LOFT
The Loft tells the story of five married men pooling their money together to rent a luxury apartment where they can each bang their respective mistresses and hookers at their leisure. It’s a fantasy come true until a conquest turns up dead and handcuffed to the bed, suggesting one of the men or wives is the party-pooping culprit.
Along with being a salacious who-done-it, the film features nudity from two gorgeous Aussies — Rachael Taylor providing the topless thrills and Isabel Lucas bringing up the backside.
Genre fans know Taylor from Greg Dark’s See No Evil, Masayuki Ochiai’s Shutter, the short-lived series “666 Park Avenue,” and Michael Bay’s Transformers. Lucas made her feature film debut in Bay’s Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and starred in the Spierig brothers’ Daybreakers and Tarsem Singh’s Immortals.
04. KNOCK KNOCK
Knock Knock is a psycho-sexual thriller mixing every married man’s greatest fantasy with his worst nightmare. The film is directed by Eli Roth and stars Keanu Reeves as a happily wed man who regrettably allows two hot young girls into his home while his family is away.
Cuban actress Ana de Armas (El Callejon) and Chilean model-turned-actress Lorenza Izzo (Green Inferno) play the home invading hotties with enthusiastic T&A baring gusto. Sure, they’re portraying sadistic psycho-bitches but when opportunity knocks on your door, it must be answered, no?
03. EX MACHINA
There’s a lot of ethical and philosophical questions presented in Ex Machina, making it one of the year’s most acclaimed critical darlings. The story follows a software programmer enamored with an android created by his billionaire boss, who has asked him to test its AI and ability to pass as human.
Ex Machina is thought provoking stuff with intense performances and lip-biting suspense, but we degrade honor it here for its kinky sex appeal, fueled by the superior nude-acting abilities of Swedish stunner Alicia Vikander as Ava the android and Sonoya Mizuno as mute servant and dance-machine Kyoko. Additional boobs, butts, and bush are courtesy of models Elina Alminas and Claire Selby.
Girlhouse stars sexy Ali Cobrin as a college student so strapped for tuition she takes a gig as an X-rated webcam model for a website featuring hot coeds streaming content from their sorority house. Money’s good, but things go bad when the girls ban a creepy troll’s account, sending him into a murderous rage.
Cobrin, whose round tush we first glimpsed in American Pie: Reunion, flashes it once again here, but its her costars who bring the nudity: Chasty Ballesteros (Final Destination 5), Alyson Bath (”Zalman King’s Body Language”), Nicole Fox (Redlands), and Elysia Rotary (”Arrow”). Corbin as the newbie holds her own though… just like you’ll be doing!
If your penis made a movie, Muck is what it would look like. Hyper-violent and sexually charged, the sleazy slasher chockful of frivolous nudity and jiggly boobs received reviews touting it as misogynistic, sexist, demeaning, distasteful, and pornographic. In other words… our feel-good movie of 2015!
Set and shot in Cape Cod, Muck finds a group of friends fending off murderous and rape-happy creatures in an abandoned vacation home. Nudity is provided by Miss Cape Cod 2013 Audra Van Hees, Laura Jacobs (Daydream Nation), and Stephanie Danielson (”Femme Fatales”). Additional jiggle comes courtesy of 2012 Playmate of the Year Jaclyn Swedberg and Miss Cape Cod 2012 Ashley Green Elizabeth.