Alessandra Torresani is once again causing sci-fi fans to feel a disturbance in their pants. The 23-year-old star of Syfy’s now defunct “Battlestar Galactica” prequel series “Caprica” dons Princess Leia’s Return of the Jedi slave girl bikini in Break Originals’ music video parody of Enrique Iglesias’ love ballad “Tonight, I’m Fucking You.”

Entitled “Tonight, I’m Frakkin’ You,” the video finds a Vulcan Jedi navigating the nightclub scene in a galaxy far, far away. The song gives mad props to many of the sci-fi and superhero genres’ most beloved movies and shows, including  Star Wars, Star Trek, “LOST,” “Dr. Who,” “Battlestar Galactica,” “Dollhouse,” Spiderman, Back to the Future, and Harry Potter.

Peep it:

While not quite on Weird Al Yankovic (“Yoda,” “The Saga Begins”) level, the force is, nonetheless, strong with this parody. Chances are the tune will ear-worm its way into your head so you may as well learn the lyrics:

I’m like Kenobi
Seeking passage to Alderaan with you
We’ll watch Big Bang Theory
As you ride my TARDIS and call me Doctor Who

You’re into Cosplay (oooh)
Damn that’s one fine skin job on you.
Beam Me Up Hottie (oooo oooh)
My Vulcan Logic tells me its time to groove

Across the federation
My Jedi inclination
Tells me that I am a suitable mate for you
We Love Next Generation
Xbox over Playstation
Its time that I tap from your Mana Pool

Cause tonight I’m Frakking You
Whoa you know
That tonight I’m Frakking You
Whoa you know

Are You Gwen Stacey
My Spidey sense says I’d shoot my web all on you
I’m No Fergengi
I drop more coin than Mario on mushrooms

Your Dharma education
Delorean transporation
Revs my engine to warp speed like Mr. Sulu
Dollhouse’s cancellation
Hurt like Luke’s amputation
Its time to Mork Me and say Nanoo Nanoo

Cause tonight I’m Frakking You
Whoa you know
That tonight I’m Frakking You
Whoa you know

Ha! Kunal…
Let’s Meet Up In Naboo
We’ll roll around like R2-D2
You’ve set my phasers to stun
Cause your Sarlaac Pit’s
Got more spice in it
Than the planet Dune

From Asgard’s
Hallowed halls
Everybody big bangs Kunal
Gotham or Hogwarts
My Broad Sword’ll Be the one
Thing To Rule them all

Lets clone your body
Join them all together to form a Guild
and go on a Quest
We can use my expansion pack
Then I’ll take you down like Boba Fett
Up Up, Down Down
Left, Right, Left Right
B, A, Select then Start
Its time to one-up
Thirty lives with you, (cuz tonight I’m)

Cuz tonight I’m Frakking You
Whoa you know
That tonight I’m Frakking You
Whoa you know
That tonight I’m Frakking You

Scream queen and August ‘07 Playboy model Christa Campbell is gonna need a big can of Raid to survive Nu Image Films’ recently wrapped creature-feature Spiders 3-D. Directed by Tibor Takacs (The Gate), the film stars Campbell as a New Yorker with great breasts attempting to survive an infestation of giant mutant spiders.

The film’s official synopsis reads:

Following a crash of an old Soviet space station in New York City’s subway tunnel, a new species of poisonous spiders is discovered. Inadvertently the spiders mutate to gigantic proportions and wreak havoc on the entire city.

Spiders 3-D, which was actually shot in Bulgaria in the same Boyana studio where the new Conan reboot was filmed, is said to feature a variety of gigantic arachnids. Patrick Muldoon (Starship Troopers) and 13-year-old newbie Sydney Sweeney (The Ward) are on board as Campbell’s husband and daughter.

Additional costars include Johnny Yong Bosch (Insidious), William Hope (Sherlock Holmes), Shelly Varod (Universal Soldier: Regeneration), and Jon Mack (Saw 6).

Campbell can currently be seen in Millennium Films’ (a division of Nu Image) supernatural actioner Drive Angry 3-D, in which she goes nude during a cat-fight with Amber Heard.

Christa Campbell made Clatto’s list of The 20 Hottest Women Working in Horror/Sci-fi Today.

Summit Entertainment held the world premiere for their upcoming supernatural road-rage actioner Drive Angry 3-D last night at the Arclight Cinemas in Hollywood, CA. I could not attend because I was busy going over Nic Cage’s books, but have hijacked images from people whose job it is to go for your stroking viewing pleasure (see below).

Joining Cage and director Patrick Lussier on the red carpet were film costars Amber Heard and her new lesbian hairdo, Billy Burke and his cock-accessory for the night, Charlotte Ross’ breasts (pictured above), the always cool William Fichtner, and former Playboy model Christa Campbell.

Drive Angry 3-D stars Cage as a damned soul who escapes from hell to run down the pricks that murdered his daughter and abducted his grandchild. I caught an early screening of the flick and can tell you it’s a must see for fans of violence, sex, and fucked-up humor.

Amber Heard and Christa Campbell are part of Clatto’s list of The 20 Hottest Women Working in Horror/Sci-fi Today.

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Former “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” star and Playboy cover model (July, 2000) Charisma Carpenter is set to play identical twin sisters in director Hanelle Culpepper’s (How to Stand in Line for Star Wars) now-shooting in Los Angeles psychological thriller Deadly Sibling Rivalry.

The film follows the different paths estranged twins Janna and Callie travel after the accidental death of their beloved father. When an automobile accident leaves successful and happily married Janna in a coma, downtrodden degenerate Callie assumes her identity and quickly plots a way to keep her sister gone.

Carpenter, of course, made her name in Hollywood by being ridiculously hot and by playing bratty babe Cordelia Chase on “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and its spinoff “Angel.” She also starred as gold-digger Kendall Casablancas on teen mystery show “Veronica Mars.”

As for the big screen—sort of—the 40-year-old stunner can be seen in director Jason Bourque’s upcoming survival-frightener Crash Site and the now available on DVD British thriller Psychosis.

Norwegian actress Ingrid Bolsø Berdal, best known for the 2006 survival frightener Cold Prey, is the first to join Famke Janssen’s coven of witches in Dead Snow director Tommy Wirkola’s Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, a flash forward of the classic fairy tale that finds the siblings hunting down supernatural forces for profit.

Berdal’s character is described as being a ruthless “killing machine” under the command of Janssen’s head witch. Hot properties Jeremy Renner (The Town) and Gemma Arterton (Clash of the Titans) headline the 3-D Paramount Pictures film as Hansel & Gretel.

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters rolls camera on March 7. It’s expected to be in theaters in June 2012.

Memphis-born stunner Clare Grant is set to star in Hatchet and Frozen director Adam Green’s pilot episode of “Sexy Nightmare Slayers,” a proposed web series from ArieScope Pictures and Comedy Central’s Atom.com.

Green tells Dread Central:

We have come up with something that is kind of like “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” meets Evil Dead II. We had total creative control so you’re going to be seeing stories filled with hot chicks, cool monsters, and lots and lots of monster goo.

We could make three more, we could make thirty more. It depends on how this one does and of course our availability at the time.

“Sexy Nightmare Slayers” stars Grant and Rileah Vanderbilt (Frozen) as half-naked angels sent from heaven to protect children from nighttime monsters. If picked up, the series—created by Green and Vanderbilt—will feature a variety of guest stars and directors.

Grant’s horror creds include After Dark’s The Graves, an episode of Showtime’s “Masters of Horror” (“Valerie on the Stairs”), and marriage to Seth Green. To see photos of Grant nude, go here.

Well, it looks like the gods have seen it fit yet again to spread cheeks and jam cock in ass!

Lesley-Ann Brandt, the South African model-turned-actress who plays sexy house slave Naevia on “Spartacus: Blood and Sand” and its prequel series “Spartacus: Gods of the Arena,” is leaving the city of Capua to take up residence in the Big Apple.

(UPDATE: MEET LESLEY’S REPLACEMENT ON THE SHOW HERE)

Deadline reports that Brandt has opted out of starring in season two of “Spartacus: Blood and Sand” to secure a recurring role on the CBS crime show “CSI: NY” and to pursue other endeavors. Her previous creds include episodes of ABC Studios “Legend of the Seeker” and NBC’s “Chuck.”

Brandt is the second series regular to leave “Blood and Sand.” Earlier this year, star Andy Whitfield announced his departure from the show due to his ongoing battle with Stage 1 non-Hodgkin lymphoma. Aussie newcomer Liam McIntyre will step into Whitfield’s sandals when shooting begins on the new season.

“Lonestar” actress Eloise Mumford is the first to be cast in Paranormal Activity director/producer Oren Peli’s ABC pilot “The River.” Mumford will play a helicopter pilot searching for a missing Reality TV explorer and his camera man—her father—along the Amazon river.

Peli is producing the shaky-cam (surprise!) horror series with partners Jason Blum and Steven Schneider. Jaume Collet-Serra (Orphan, Unknown) will helm the pilot episode from a script by Peli, Michael Perry (Paranormal Activity 2), and veteran scribe Michael Green (“Heroes”), who was brought in to rewrite the original draft.

Mumford made her acting debut on the Starz drama series “Crash” in 2008. The 24-year-old last starred on the short-lived (canceled after two episodes) Fox show “Lonestar,” where she played the gullible girlfriend of a Texas conman. She and British actress Imogen Poots have the unfortunate distinction of being cute chicks with horrendous, old lady names.

“7th Heaven” star Haylie Duff is set to star opposite C. Thomas Howell in director Doug Campbell’s revenge thriller Home Invasion. The 26-year-old will play a single mother who kills a robber in her house and is then befriended by the crook’s vengeful girlfriend while attending a support group.

Duff, older sister to Hilary Duff, has starred in the survival frighteners Backwoods and Fear Island, the sleep paralysis thriller Nightmare, and 1998’s direct-to-video sequel Addams Family Reunion. She will next be seen in actor-turned director Michael Rooker’s upcoming ghost story Pennhurst.

Home Invasion will roll camera on March 8 in Los Angeles.

Dimension Films have released the first official trailer for Spanish director Gonzalo Lopez-Gallego’s found-footage sci-fi frightener Apollo 18. The film marks Gallego’s English language debut and is produced by Timur Bekmambetov (Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter).

The synopsis reads:

Officially, Apollo 17, launched December 17th, 1972 was the last manned mission to the moon. But a year later, in December of 1973, two American astronauts were sent on a secret mission to the moon funded by the US Department of Defense.

What you are about to see is the actual footage which the astronauts captured on that mission. While NASA denies its authenticity, others say it’s the real reason we’ve never gone back to the moon.

Man, I’m so sick of all these Apollo conspiracies. Everyone knows man has never been to the moon. The whole landing was shot on the same sound stage they used for “The Bob Newhart Show.” Jeez, c’mon, people, don’t be so gullible.

Apollo 18 lands in theaters on April 22.

Peep the trailer: