Here we have photos of Megan Fox and her bright pink bra arriving at LAX yesterday. The 24-year-old starlet looked kind of sad. Whether that was over dealing with the monkeys hired to keep us safe at the airport or her recently announced exit from Transformers 3 is anyone’s guess.
Either way it makes my penis sad too.
Think of every movie you have ever seen, good and bad. Now, imagine how much better those movies would have been if the lead roles had been played by hot chicks in bikinis.
First-time-director Geoff Klein overcomes the challenges of producing an indie-horror flick on the cheap by utilizing old-school scares and half-naked babes.
The film’s official synopsis reads:
When a bus-load of women’s soccer players get stranded on their way to a bikini car-wash fundraiser, they decide to set up shop in front of an abandoned gas station on the edge of town. Little do they know the place is the stalking-grounds for a homicidal maniac mechanic named Moe.
The slasher features plenty of slow-mo bikini car-wash shots, nudity, and sex. Genre babe Suzi Lorraine (pictured above) leads a cast that includes Cindel Chartrand, Kerri Taylor, Christina Sciortino, and Danielle Doetsch.
Bikini Girls on Ice is available for purchase now.
South African model-turned actress Tanit Phoenix may not have landed the role of love-interest in Michael Bay’s upcoming Transformers 3 movie (she sent in a video audition ala Heidi Montag), but she did score the lead in the straight-to-DVD-bargain-bin sequel Lost Boys: The Thirst.
The 29-year-old, 5-foot-9 looker plays a vampire-romance novelist who bites off a little more than she can chew. (UPDATE: TANIT IS UP TO PLAY WONDER WOMAN/ WILL STAR IN HBO’S ‘FEMME FATALES’)
Peep the trailer:
Phoenix, who was reportedly one-of-four actresses considered to replace Megan Fox in Transformers 3, is putting on a happy face and doing her best to pump up Corey Feldman’s bi-yearly payday.
She lies to tells Moviehole:
I went up against some interesting American actresses, but Warner Bros and the producers loved my audition – and the director, Dario Piana and I got on so well – that they decided on me for the lead.
What I found very interesting about the Lost Boys script was that it showcases Vampires how they really are, blood sucking and evil, which somewhat dances around the fact that Twilight made their Vampires seem beautiful, but they really are not. I wanted to play a bad girl, and I finally got my chance.
The original Lost Boys makes the cut in Clatto’s 15 Vampire Movies That Won’t Make You Gay.
Phoenix can next be seen as an ex-military-sniper-turned-race-car-driver in Universal Pictures Death Race 2: Frankenstein Lives.
Actress/model Kelly Brook stars as a skinny-dipping coed in director Alexandre Aja’s creature-feature reboot Piranha 3-D. Despite the film being one of this summer’s most eagerly anticipated popcorn-films, Brook isn’t quitting her day job.
The curvy 30-year-old looker has unleashed her bare bottom and 34-E’s in the July issue of “Loaded” magazine. Brook reveals to mag that she thinks her breasts are too big for her frame (blasphemy!) and that she fucks regularly to stay in shape.
Brook began her modeling career at the age of 16 after winning a beauty pageant her mother enrolled her in (Note to parents: It’s important to recognize and nourish the potential your daughter’s large breasts can have) .
Piranha 3-D arrives into theaters on Aug. 27. Brook’s horror creds include Survival Island, Removal, House of 9, and Ripper.
Keri Russell (“Felicity”) stars in Lightning Entertainment’s ripped-from-the-headlines thriller Grimm Love. The film is based on the true story of Armin Meiwes, a German homosexual man who was sentenced to life imprisonment after slaughtering and eating Bernd-Jürgen Brandes, a willing victim he met in an internet chatroom.
Take a look:
Meiwes met Brandes in 2001 after the latter answered Meiwes’ internet posting seeking out a male to be cannibalized. After numerous email exchanges, the deranged duo met on Christmas day to consume Brandes’ penis. Meiwes, who had fantasized about eating friends since the age of 12, has stated that he viewed the act as a form of communion, a manner in which to keep someone close.
But, back to the penis eating. It never actually happened because Meiwes ended up burning the member. Brandes, weakened by the loss of blood, swallowed pills and booze to numb the pain and was put in a tub.
Meiwes finally grew impatient waiting for Brandes to die, and stabbed him to death. He then hung Brandes on a hook and sliced him up into chunks. He videotaped the entire ordeal.
For the following 10 months, he fed on Brandes meat.
Meiwes was initially convicted for manslaughter and sentenced to eight-and-a-half years in 2004. However, after a retrial in 2005, he was convicted in 2006 to life imprisonment for being a sick fuck.
Meiwes has since become a vegetarian.
Grimm Love retells Meiwes story, but adds Russell character to make things less gay.
This is the film’s official synopsis:
Katie Armstrong, a young American woman studying Criminal Psychology in Germany finds herself inexplicably drawn to a murder case which would soon become the subject of her thesis. The psychology behind Oliver Hartwin, a homosexual cannibal killer who advertised on the Internet for a lover willing to be murdered and devoured as the ultimate act of love and self-sacrifice. As a woman whose past relationships have all failed, Katie doubts her own ability to find love and becomes obsessed with understanding their relationship.
While researching Oliver, Katie becomes entrenched in his life, and begins delve deeper and deeper into his past. She explores his childhood and the childhood of his victim looking for any clues as to what made him become what he is today. Piece by piece she fleshes them up by retracing both of their lives systematically. Their homes, their jobs, their relationships. From children into adulthood, she begins to lose herself in their story. With every new discovery, her emotions begin to get the better of her. Katie lets herself go, compulsively plunging into a deeply alienated lifestyle. This downward spiral culminates in the discovery of the video-tape made by Oliver recording the final moments of his victim’s life. Witnessing the courtship between the two men, and the final atrocity of the killing, Katie hits rock bottom. At the base of her own emotional sanity, she discovers the inner strength to pick herself and begin the smallest steps to rebuilding her life.
Grimm Love will be available on DVD, VOD, and digital download in the fall. The film costars Thomas Kretschmann (Wanted) and Thomas Huber (Aeon Flux) as cannibal and entree, respectively.
Hayden Panettiere is the latest addition to director/producer Wes Craven’s Scream 4. Panettiere joins a cast that includes Emma Roberts, Rory Culkin, and original players Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox, and David Araquette.
The “Hereos” star will play the film geek friend of Jill Prescott (Roberts), Sidney’s cousin.
Scream 4 is the start of a new trilogy that aims to frighten audiences while poking fun at modern day horror cliches much like the original did in 1996. Writer Kevin Williamson (“The Vampire Diaries”) is once again attached.
The Scream series has earned over $500 million in worldwide coin.
Victoria Secret model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is officially replacing Megan Fox as Shai LaBeouf’s love interest in Michael Bay’s upcoming sequel Transformers 3. The 23-year-old British babe is now in the process of obtaining her work visa.
Paramount Pictures announced that Fox had been let go from the project last week. While the Fox camp states that she exited the flick out of her own volition, most believe it was her biting comments regarding Bay and the Transformers franchise that got her booted. (UPDATE: THE REASON FOR FOX’S FIRING FINALLY REVEALED)
Considering Whiteley has ZERO acting experience, I’m inclined to believe the latter. Now, if he would just replace LaBeouf for talking shit about Transformers 2 with Whiteley’s boyfriend Jason Statham and an Audi, this sequel could actually start to feel fresh.
Bay fucked met Whiteley last year when they worked together on a Victoria’s Secret commercial (see it here).
Emma Roberts has been cast as Jill Prescott (Sidney’s cousin) in director/producer Wes Craven’s soon-to-start-shooting Scream 4. She joins old-school regulars Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox, and David Arquette.
Emma tells EW:
I’m so excited to be part of this ground-breaking franchise. It’s the perfect opportunity for me to do something completely different than I’ve ever done before.
Adds Craven:
Emma’s talent, beauty, and range will add immensely to the sophistication, intensity, and fun of the Scream franchise as it returns to the screen once more.
Emma is the 19-year-old daughter of B-movie staple Eric Roberts (Sharktopus) and niece to Oscar-winning actress Julia Roberts (Mary Reilly).
Scream 4 begins shooting in Michigan on June 28.
If you don’t know Clare Grant (“Sexy Nightmare Slayers”), you’re probably not Seth Green’s penis.
The fledgling 30-year-old actress has been stuck doing forgettable roles with frivolous nudity (I call it God’s work) in straight-to-DVD fare since making her movie debut in 2004.
This year, she wised up and legally attached her vagina to Green, Hollywood’s hardest working go-to-geek. How this fortuitous move will affect her willingness to strip naked in movies and print is yet to be determined.
Don't worry, Seth. These guys are probably gay.
But, looking at the BTS photo above taken from Grant’s recent “Cube” pictorial (more shots below), I’m gonna guess those days are over. From now on, expect to see Grant in a series of shitty, fam-friendly John Travolta flicks with Green.
Enjoy Grant’s “Cube” spread:
I am not one of those people who automatically dismisses women with large breasts as bimbos. In fact, I am very much the opposite. I have always believed that a woman’s intellect correlates to her boob size. The bigger the melons, the more interesting, charming, and smart the girl becomes. I could totally listen to a chick with 34E’s ramble on about politics, the environment, and cats.
That said, I’m starting to have my doubts about former-Hills-star-turned-aspiring-screenwriter-and-actress Heidi Montag. The top heavy blonde recently shot an audition video at a gun range in the hopes of impressing uber-producer/director Michael Bay to give her the female lead in Transformers 3 (Megan Fox is no longer involved with the series).
Take a peep:
I’m guessing if an actress can’t just schedule a meeting with Bay, she probably has zero chance of landing a part in his movie. So, I don’t understand why Montag would shoot this video when it’s obvious that … wait a minute … could it be that Montag knows that Bay wouldn’t even consider her for a role as a tree in his flick and that this whole audition video was made just to keep her in the news?
Genius! This proves my big boobs = big brain theory! Well played, Montag, well played.