2017
09.11

QM’s Dark Harbor 2017 Serves Up New Ship Maze ‘Feast,’ Get Tix Now!

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Halloween season is upon us and if you’re getting that sinking feeling that you’re gonna miss out on something big then obviously you haven’t purchased your tickets to this year’s Queen Mary’s Dark Harbor event, featuring the launch of an all-new fourth ship maze! Fortunately, you haven’t missed the boat.

Running select nights from Sept. 28 through Nov. 1 at the historic Queen Mary in Long Beach, Dark Harbor 2017 unleashes seven maddening mazes, hundreds of ghouls, monsters, and sea-faring creeps, immersive attractions, live undead entertainment, tasty slop, and intoxicating spirits (yes, we mean booze!).

Feast is this year’s new maze and it marks the fourth on board the Queen Mary vessel. This is mind-blowing news as the ship’s mazes are unparalleled in eeriness with the uncanny ability to scare and disturb without the aid of hellish creatures – though they appear as well, those sick paranormal pranksters!

Feast tells the tale of Chef, a culinary genius at serving up WWII soldiers as flavorful delicacies, burnt alive in his own oven upon discovery from the ship’s crew. Not one to let a bad review torpedo his career, the Chef returns from the dead with new fish to fry. Feast joins Lullaby, Soulmate, and B340 as the ship mazes, taking guests deep into the engine rooms, corridors, and galleys.

The docks will see more intensified versions of returning mazes Intrepid, Circus Big Top Terror, and Deadrise – an intricate maze so well crafted and long (and wet) it’s easy to get sucked into its story and believe it is a sunken World War II escort ship haunted by drowned mariners and their fearsome Captain.

Tickets – including online deals – are available now and can be purchased at the Dark Harbor website. Check out our reviews for Dark Harbor: 2016, 2014, and 2013.

2017
09.10

Alycia Debnam-Carey Could Use a ‘Friend Request’

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Entertainment Studios has set a Sept. 22 theatrical release date for Friend Request, a social media themed frightener starring Alycia Debnam-Carey (“Fear the Walking Dead”) as a popular college coed who unfriends an emotionally unstable misfit from her social media, triggering the freak’s suicide.

Unfortunately for everyone, the nut-job’s death unleashes a curse that threatens their lives online and off and leads to the exiling of Debnam-Carey’s character, whose social media is compromised by the dead psycho’s supernatural hacking abilities and made to post each horrific demise on her feed.

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2017
09.10

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Sony Pictures has released a new trailer for its sequel to director Joel Schumacher’s Flatliners, a 1990 sci-fi thriller about med-school students conducting near-death experiments to see what lies in the afterlife. Niels Arden Oplevscribe (Girl with the Dragon Tattoo) directs and Ben Ripley (Source Code) pens.

Nina Dobrev (“Vampire Diaries”) is the group’s hot chick and so we all will rightfully want her to survive over co-stars Diego Luna (Rogue One), Ellen Page (Juno), Kiersey Clemens (Neighbors 2) and James Norton (Rush). But, for our Redbox dollar, we’re most invested in model/actress Charlotte McKinney’s fate.

McKinney, who first came to fame in a Carl’s Jr. ad for Super Bowl XLIX in which she jiggly struts through a farmer’s market seeming nude, plays a nurse with enormous boobs who has sex with Norton’s character. That’s all we know – no thanks to this trailer which keeps McKinney outta sight! Asshole trailer.

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2017
09.10

‘Keep Watching’ Bella Thorne!

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Screen Gems has released a trailer for Keep Watching, a home invasion thriller first announced in 2013 and starring former Disney star Bella Thorne as a hot teen whose family is forced to play a game of kill or be killed, streamed online to the few people not surfing Amazon and PornHub.

Thorne plays Jamie, a disillusioned teenager with a secret. No release date yet, but it’s another notch on Thorne’s horror belt as she continues to mature into a proper scream queen with roles in MTV’s “Scream,” Amityville: The Awakening, Forget Me Not, and McG’s upcoming Babysitter.

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2017
09.09

Sarah Dumont Charms In ‘Serpent’

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Is that a snake in your pocket or are you just happy to see Sarah Dumont (Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse) in director Amanda Evans feature film debut, Serpent? Dumont plays the unfaithful wife of an entomologist exposed during their trip to discover a new species of beetle in the South African wilderness.

Making matters worse is the deadly black mamba snake that has slithered inside their tent, threatening to strike them dead with any sudden movement… wait, there’s a killer serpent in the same quarters the guy happens to be sharing with the woman who made a cuckold fool out of him? Toss that bitch to the snake, bro!

Sony Pictures Home Entertainment releases Serpent on DVD Oct. 31.

2017
09.09

‘Rings’ Stunner Matilda Lutz Is Breaking Balls in Rape ‘Revenge’ Thriller!

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Last we saw Italian stunner Matilda Lutz, she faced off against vengeful spirit Samara in this year’s Rings. Now, she’s set to take on even more frightening evil: horny men. Lutz plays a hot, young mistress raped by her sugar-daddy’s friends during a hunting trip in French director Coralie Fargeat’s feature debut, Revenge.

Rape/revenge films are sweet for the rape first half of the film before the protagonist gets the upper hand and balls start getting chopped and shot to smithereens. That’s the part with the gratuitous T&A. Sure the nut blasting is warranted, but no guy wants to sit around for that. It’s only there to justify the fucked up part anyway.

Unfortunately, we’re not sure Revenge will honor the rules. Lutz has yet to do nudity on camera and with a female director at the helm, there’s a good chance Revenge will just be a feminist wet dream chockful of scrotum splatter. But, who are we kidding? Lutz in tiny booty-shorts? We’ll watch (sorry, balls).

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2017
09.09

Carla Gugino Doesn’t Play Well w/ Others In ‘Gerald’s Game’

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Netflix has released a trailer for Gerald’s Game, director Mike Flanagan’s (Ouija: Origin of Evil) film adaptation of the 1992 Stephen King novel about a troubled trophy wife left captive in a cabin in the woods when her husband croaks during some kinky BDSM play, leaving her cuffed to the bedposts.

Stunner Carla Gugino (Sin City) stars as Jessie Burlingame, wife to successful attorney Gerald, played by Bruce Greenwood (I, Robot). When Jessie freaks out over being cuffed, she ends the foreplay, immediately killing Gerald with a case of blue balls so bad it stops his heart.

Gerald’s Game premieres Sept. 29.

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2017
09.08

‘Insidious: The Last Key’ Is Scary, But Lin Shaye Is Far More Frightening!

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Universal Pictures has released a first trailer for Insidious: The Last Key, a prequel in the successful Blumhouse franchise. In theaters Jan. 5, the James Wan-produced film is helmed by Adam Robitel, director of the terrifying Taking of Deborah Logan, and sees the return of Lin Shaye as medium Elise Rainier.

Set years before the events of the previous three Insidious films, The Last Key takes us to New Mexico where an evil entity is haunting Elise’s childhood home – providing us with flashbacks of a teenage Elise, played by Hana Hayes (“The Grinder”), and her encounters with a freakish key demon.

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Of course, nothing in any of the Insidious films is as genuinely nightmarish as Lin Shaye’s very own performance in 1996’s criminally underrated Farrelly brothers’ gem, Kingpin – playing an exploitative and libidinous old landlady (has Lin ever been young?).

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2017
09.01

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If you thought William Golding’s “Lord of the Flies” was pretty good but a bit of a sausage party, you’ll be happy to know that Warner Bros. is correcting the literary classic by adapting it to the screen with an all-female cast. The announcement was met, of course, with a ridiculous amount of disdain online.

Nerds argued the point of the novel would be lost with an all-female cast while feminists were outraged the film is being directed by people with balls – not figurative balls, but actual balls. The real issue, however, has yet to be addressed: will the chicks be hot?

We figure there has to be one fattie in the bunch to take on the role of Piggy, but who would play the other girls? Chloe Grace Moretz as Ralphie? Bella Thorne as Jack? Would bikinis come into play or would it be more of a loincloth and leaves deal? These are the questions that matter, dammit!

2017
09.01

Set Your Peepers On ‘Jeepers Creepers 3’

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Screen Media Films has released a trailer for Jeepers Creepers 3, the long gestating sequel in the popular horror franchise from writer/director and convicted child molester Victor Salva. The film releases in selected Regal theaters on Sept. 26 for a one night showing.

Jeepers Creepers 3 is set during The Creeper’s final day of feeding and finds police task forces attempting to figure out the monster’s origins so to kill it. Original final girl Gina Philips reprises her role as Trish and Jonathan Breck returns as The Creeper.

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